Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Whether families sending their children to private schools should be exempt from taxes supporting the state education system is a topic that invites careful consideration. While some argue for this exemption, asserting that private school families essentially opt out of public education, others contend that contributing to the broader education system is a civic responsibility. In my view, families choosing private education should indeed be exempt from taxes supporting state schools.
One compelling reason to support this exemption is the voluntary nature of private school enrollment. Families opting for private education actively choose an alternative to the state system, often due to specific educational needs, philosophies or considerations. In this context, it seems inequitable to compel these families to financially support a public education system they have consciously decided not to participate in. Thus a family that chooses a private school with a specialized curriculum tailored to their child's needs should not be forced to pay taxes supporting the state system. If they are forced, it appears counterproductive and lacks fairness.
Moreover, private schools often alleviate the burden on state resources by independently financing their facilities, staff, and curriculum. This lessens the strain on the state education system, allowing public schools to direct their resources more efficiently to students who remain within their purview. For instance, public schools often have limited capacity to enrol students. So when rich parents opt for private schools for their children, they are in a way helping public schools so that they can reserve seats for children from needy families.
In conclusion, advocating for tax exemptions for families sending their children to private schools is rooted in the principles of choice and fairness. It acknowledges the voluntary nature of private education and recognizes the financial independence of private institutions. This approach fosters a more equitable educational landscape, allowing families to invest in education that aligns with their values and preferences.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise opening Original: a topic that invites careful consideration Suggested revision: a subject of considerable debate Why it matters: The revision expresses the contested nature of the issue more directly.
- 2. Clarify family description Original: private school families Suggested revision: families using private schools Why it matters: The revision avoids suggesting that the schools themselves have families.
- 3. Replace vague wording Original: specific educational needs, philosophies or considerations Suggested revision: specific educational needs, philosophies, or preferences Why it matters: Preferences states the final category more clearly than the vague noun considerations.
- 4. Add transition comma Original: Thus a family Suggested revision: Thus, a family Why it matters: A comma should follow the introductory conjunctive adverb thus.
- 5. Clarify pronoun reference Original: If they are forced Suggested revision: If families are required to do so Why it matters: The revision identifies the affected group and makes the reference to paying taxes explicit.
- 6. Use parallel complements Original: counterproductive and lacks fairness Suggested revision: counterproductive and unfair Why it matters: Two adjectives create a grammatically parallel description after appears.
- 7. Use clear wording Original: students who remain within their purview Suggested revision: students who remain in the state system Why it matters: The revision makes the intended group explicit without the abstract term purview.
- 8. Use neutral register Original: So when rich parents Suggested revision: When affluent parents Why it matters: Affluent is a more neutral academic term, and so is unnecessary at the start of the sentence.
- 9. Use concise adverb Original: in a way helping public schools Suggested revision: indirectly helping public schools Why it matters: Indirectly expresses the relationship more precisely than the vague phrase in a way.
- 10. Clarify result link Original: so that they can reserve seats Suggested revision: by enabling them to reserve seats Why it matters: The revision makes the result relationship clearer while keeping public schools as the referent.
- 11. Use precise socioeconomic term Original: children from needy families Suggested revision: children from low-income families Why it matters: Low-income describes the families' financial circumstances more precisely and neutrally.
- 12. Use direct phrasing Original: is rooted in the principles Suggested revision: is based on the principles Why it matters: The revision is more direct while preserving the claim about the argument's foundation.
Suggested Rewrites
- a topic that invites careful consideration a subject of considerable debate
- private school families families using private schools
- specific educational needs, philosophies or considerations specific educational needs, philosophies, or preferences
- Thus a family Thus, a family
- If they are forced If families are required to do so
- counterproductive and lacks fairness counterproductive and unfair
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear position and supports it with two logically developed reasons, using a confident academic style and generally precise language. Its main limitation is that the argument treats opting out of state schooling as sufficient justification for tax exemption without fully addressing the civic-responsibility objection raised in the introduction. The highest-priority improvement is to engage with that counterargument and explain why the proposed exemption remains fair to society as a whole.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported with relevant, developed reasons and examples, though the opposing civic-responsibility argument is left largely unanswered.
Directly rebut the strongest case for universal education taxes to make the justification more fully persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress clearly through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Strengthen the transition from the introductory counterview to the supporting case by explicitly showing how the later arguments answer it.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used flexibly, with only occasional slightly inflated or awkward choices.
Prefer the most direct term where expressions such as financial independence or remain within their purview sound more elaborate than necessary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of sentence structures is handled accurately, and the few minor punctuation or reference issues do not impede meaning.
Refine pronoun reference in sentences such as If they are forced, it appears counterproductive so the logical subject is unmistakable.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.