Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Perhaps no subject around the world causes as much controversy as education does. There has long been a positive attitude towards using computers in schools nowadaysat schools, nowadays. While there are persuasive arguments in favour of boosting teachers' wages, I would argue that computers are a greater prioritymuch more necessary.
On the one hand, it is suggested that teachers play a vital role in education and society as a whole. To begin with, providing teachers with high wages is a top priority in schooling systems. Since they are paid well, they are motivated to teachthey motivate to transfer lessons to students with considerable energywith a considerable amount of energy. Besides, what is quite indispensable in schools is the presence of teachers to haveso as to having interaction with studentsmutual interaction between them and students which leads to students' success. It is obvious that if teachers receive higher salariesfind their salary as high as possible, they will be more likely to enjoy teaching.
On the other hand, I advocate the role of computers in education. Firstly, we are living in a modern world and therefore, studentsdue to this students need to be familiar with the benefits of using computers as a means of study. Thus it is worthwhile allocating a budgetit is worthwhile that budget is allocated to purchase them. These devices make it easier for pupils to learnfacilitate the way pupils learn their materials. In addition, many young people are currently unwillingfrom a psychological perspective, recently youngsters are unwilling to attend school. Therefore, the widespread use of computersthe computers can act as a driving force to create a pleasant school atmospherecreate pleasant school atmosphere.
In conclusion, although teachers with a high salary are considered to be highly beneficial for the educational system, I believe that financial support for providing computers has far greater advantageshas far advantages. They alter the way knowledge isare transferred and make learning more enjoyable for pupilsprovide gratitude for pupils.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response discusses both spending priorities and maintains a clear preference for computers, with a conventional structure that makes the argument easy to follow. However, the supporting claims are often general, and frequent awkward collocations and grammatical constructions reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each view with a specific, credible explanation or example while revising sentences for natural word choice and accurate verb patterns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed and a clear opinion is maintained, though several supporting points remain generalized or insufficiently convincing.
Develop each side with a specific explanation or example that shows how the proposed spending would improve educational outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically divided and progresses clearly from one view to the other, with generally effective linking.
Make connections within paragraphs less formulaic by linking each supporting sentence directly to the preceding claim.
Lexical Resource
The response shows adequate range, but frequent inaccurate collocations such as 'far advantages' and 'provide gratitude' weaken precision.
Use familiar, accurate combinations such as 'greater advantages' and 'make learning more engaging' instead of forcing less natural expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are mixed, but recurring errors in verb patterns, articles, agreement, and sentence structure reduce control.
Focus on accurate verb complements and agreement, for example 'motivate them to teach' and 'knowledge is transferred'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.