It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Old historic edifices not only imprint past architectural styles and craftsmanship, they often are aesthetically appealing and attract tourists in great numbers. This is why some advocate protecting such structures even if it means an extra budget for the authority. I am also in favour of protecting and preserving such buildings and this essay explains why.
First of all, old structures have history and stories ingrained in them. Demolishing them will erase a great part of the history associated with them. They also are the hallmark of a nation's past glory and success. For instance, whenever we think about Rome, The Colosseum comes to our mind rather than its modern buildings. Now, if the Italian government decides to diminish this historic structure, that would be a blunder. It would not only obliterate its national history but also diminish the great potential to attract a huge number of tourists who visit Rome.
Most old buildings are aesthetically delightful and have fabulous designs. Unlike modern buildings - which are primarily built to accommodate more people or businesses, those old buildings give an impression of freedom in design and they also are living proof of old technology that was applied to erect those establishments. The nations should conserve those buildings for both aesthetic purposes and to save the technology behind them. Finally, with the help of modern design materials and techniques, retouching and refurbishing those buildings to give them more stability and durability has become easier and comparatively cheaper. This is another reason authorities should think twice before deciding to demolish an old and beautiful building.
In conclusion, beautiful and old buildings are important for attracting tourists, preserving design diversity and technology as well as protecting the history associated with them. This is why it is expected that authorities distinguish such buildings and take the initiative to protect them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: an extra budget for the authority Suggested revision: additional public spending Why it matters: Additional public spending expresses the financial cost more naturally and concisely.
- 2. Use precise quantifier Original: great Suggested revision: significant Why it matters: Significant describes the historical importance more accurately than great.
- 3. Place adverb naturally Original: They also are the hallmark Suggested revision: They are also the hallmark Why it matters: Also normally follows the finite verb be.
- 4. Correct mid-sentence capitalization Original: The Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The should not be capitalized after the comma because it is not part of the proper name.
- 5. Choose correct verb Original: diminish Suggested revision: demolish Why it matters: Demolish means destroy a building, whereas diminish means make something smaller or less important.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: diminish the great potential Suggested revision: reduce its great potential Why it matters: Reduce potential is the appropriate collocation in this context.
- 7. Remove unnecessary article Original: The nations should conserve Suggested revision: Nations should conserve Why it matters: Nations is used generally here and does not take the definite article.
- 8. Clarify what is preserved Original: save the technology behind them Suggested revision: preserve the building techniques behind them Why it matters: Building techniques accurately identifies the historical knowledge represented by the structures.
- 9. Use precise verb Original: distinguish Suggested revision: identify Why it matters: Identify means recognize which buildings merit protection, whereas distinguish is incomplete here.
- 10. Use a direct verb Original: have history and stories ingrained in them Suggested revision: embody history and stories Why it matters: Embody expresses the relationship between the buildings and their histories more directly.
- 11. Use precise historical terms Original: past glory and success Suggested revision: past achievements and prosperity Why it matters: Achievements and prosperity state the two aspects of national history more concretely.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: obliterate its national history Suggested revision: erase part of Italy's national history Why it matters: The revision makes the possessive reference explicit and avoids implying that one loss erases all history.
Suggested Rewrites
- an extra budget for the authority additional public spending
- great significant
- They also are the hallmark They are also the hallmark
- The the
- diminish demolish
- diminish the great potential reduce its great potential
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, consistently supported position and develops several relevant reasons with a concrete example, while its progression remains easy to follow. Its main limitation is imprecise word choice and collocation in otherwise ambitious language, so the highest-priority improvement is to replace awkward expressions with natural, exact phrasing and engage more directly with the cost qualification in the prompt.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response maintains a clear position and develops relevant arguments about history, tourism, aesthetics, and preservation technology.
Address the expense qualification more directly by explaining why the benefits justify high preservation costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices generally make the argument easy to follow.
Strengthen the connection between the final supporting point about cheaper refurbishment and the essay's central cost issue.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad vocabulary, but several ambitious choices and collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Replace expressions such as "diminish this historic structure" and "save the technology" with contextually precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied range of complex structures is used with generally good control, although occasional awkward constructions and punctuation lapses remain.
Review complex comparison and relative-clause structures so that sentence boundaries and grammatical relationships stay consistently clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.