It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Many old buildings contain historic significance and preserving important ones is necessary. However, protecting every old structure just for aesthetic reasons is not practical, especially at a time when the housing crisis is soaring all around the world. This essay explains why I believe that protecting and conserving all old beautiful buildings is a burden for a nation.
The global population has reached a staggeringly high of 8 billion which was just 2 billion a century ago. With this dramatic rise in population, the housing problem has intensified and if old buildings do not make space for tall, modern and more frugal structures, we will soon be destroying all of our farmlands and forests to make new houses. This will lead to a disastrous situation as we already are losing agricultural lands and forests at an alarming rate. Modern buildings are meant to accommodate a large number of people, sometimes a modern skyscraper can accommodate thousands of people while most ancient structures were built to accommodate at best a large family. The designs were made in the last century when space was abundant. This is no longer practical at all to preserve those old buildings just because they are lovely to look at.
Moreover, maintaining and preserving old structures requires a large sum of money. They were built using traditional materials and techniques, and this is why, renovating them requires intensive labour and money. On top of that, each government has a list of historically significant buildings and structures that they vigorously preserve and renovate. The authority is not going to just demolish structures like the Taj Mahal or the Acropolis of Athens, and they are going to get budget and effort no matter what. Now including all old buildings in this must-preserve list is going to be a colossal burden if not an impossible act.
In conclusion, old and gorgeous-looking buildings that are century old should be replaced by modern and space-frugal buildings while significantly important historic buildings should be preserved. This way we will have the housing crisis in check while also preserving important history.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix collocation Original: contain historic significance Suggested revision: have historical significance Why it matters: Buildings have historical significance; they do not contain it.
- 2. Use correct verb Original: soaring Suggested revision: worsening Why it matters: A crisis worsens rather than soars.
- 3. Correct adjective order Original: old beautiful buildings Suggested revision: beautiful old buildings Why it matters: Opinion adjectives normally precede age adjectives in English.
- 4. Fix quantity phrase Original: reached a staggeringly high of 8 billion Suggested revision: reached a staggering 8 billion Why it matters: A staggering directly modifies the population figure without high of.
- 5. Clarify replacement Original: old buildings do not make space for Suggested revision: old buildings are not replaced by Why it matters: Buildings cannot make space themselves; the passive form expresses the intended replacement.
- 6. Use precise adjective Original: more frugal structures Suggested revision: more space-efficient structures Why it matters: Frugal describes careful spending, not a building's efficient use of space.
- 7. Use natural word order Original: we already are losing Suggested revision: we are already losing Why it matters: The adverb normally follows the auxiliary verb in this construction.
- 8. Use uncountable land Original: lands Suggested revision: land Why it matters: Land is uncountable when referring generally to farmland.
- 9. Fix limiting phrase Original: at best a large family Suggested revision: at most one large family Why it matters: At most correctly expresses the upper limit on capacity.
- 10. Clarify the subject Original: The designs were made in the last century Suggested revision: These buildings were designed in the last century Why it matters: Naming the buildings removes the vague reference to designs.
- 11. Remove incorrect comma Original: this is why, renovating Suggested revision: this is why renovating Why it matters: No comma should separate why from the clause it introduces.
- 12. Improve collocation Original: intensive labour and money Suggested revision: substantial labour and funding Why it matters: Substantial naturally describes both the workforce and financial resources required.
Suggested Rewrites
- contain historic significance have historical significance
- soaring worsening
- old beautiful buildings beautiful old buildings
- reached a staggeringly high of 8 billion reached a staggering 8 billion
- old buildings do not make space for old buildings are not replaced by
- more frugal structures more space-efficient structures
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, qualified position that historically important buildings deserve protection while purely aesthetic structures may yield to housing needs, supported by two distinct reasons. Its main limitation is that some housing claims are overly absolute and several phrases are awkward or imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify the redevelopment argument with more realistic distinctions and edit collocations and sentence boundaries for greater precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response presents a clear nuanced position and develops relevant arguments concerning land use, housing capacity, preservation costs, and historic value.
Acknowledge that redevelopment is not always possible or desirable and explain how countries could decide which buildings merit protection.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, two reason-based body paragraphs, and conclusion form a clear logical progression with generally effective cohesion.
Improve flow within the housing paragraph by separating its long chain of consequences into more clearly staged steps.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary range is sufficient for heritage, urban development, cost, and population pressure, but several collocations are inaccurate or overstated.
Replace phrases such as “contain historic significance,” “space-frugal buildings,” and “get budget and effort” with natural academic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally clear meaning, though comma splices, agreement issues, and awkward noun phrases recur.
Check sentence boundaries and noun agreement, especially in long comparisons and phrases describing old buildings.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
It is important that we maintain and protect the beautiful buildings of the past, even if it is expensive for countries to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.