Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products?
Sample Response
This is a true fact to consider that over packaging has become a trend of the modern competitive market. Considering this, there are some analysts who hold an opinion that consumers should avoid over packed products while others consider consumers should not avoid over packed products. This essay will give assertion on both sides of the contention before deducing a reasonable conclusion.
There are reasonable arguments in favour of over packaging from the manufacturer. They try to make products as lucrative looking as possible. Consumers have a number of alternative options in the market but some of them concern style or looks of packaging while deciding to buy a product. Attractive packaging could be a significant factor for selling more. It is generally seen that product producers try to attract their customers in many ways by over packaging. For example, in the case of some biscuit packs, we can see that the biscuits are placed in the small plastic tray and covered with multiple layers of packets. In terms of keeping these sorts of products intact and fresh, it is sometimes necessary to use over packing. In these cases, the manufacturer would show reasons that they are over packing products for the sake of customers’ benefit. From this regards, it seems logical that the customer should make an informed decision whether or not to buy products that use over packing. In spite of views discussed above regarding of over packaging, there are some groups who are in favour of avoiding over packed products and say that the manufacturers are deceiving customers by over packing their products. The cost of packaging and their detrimental effects on our environment could be substantial reasons behind of the opponents’ viewpoint. All the packaging costs are directly being added to the consumers and they have to spend more than the value of products. A few real products are often presented in a large container and packet and the customers are being deceived by the packet sized. Moreover, the manufacturers often use non-disposable wrappers and packets which add bad effects to the environmental.
In the end, undoubtedly, extra packaging of products has a detrimental effect on the society; however, as far as I am concern consumers should avoid over-packaging products to solve the negative effects it possessed to them and to the environment. If customers start avoiding such unnecessary over packing of products, manufacturers would be bound to change the way they are doing the packing nowadays.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: a true fact to consider Suggested revision: a fact Why it matters: A fact is already true, so the longer phrase is redundant and unnatural.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: an Suggested revision: the Why it matters: The definite article makes this collocation more natural in context.
- 3. Use precise phrasing Original: give assertion Suggested revision: present arguments Why it matters: The original verb-noun combination is not idiomatic for introducing both sides.
- 4. Choose accurate adjective Original: lucrative looking Suggested revision: attractive Why it matters: Lucrative describes profitability rather than visual appeal.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: a significant factor for selling more Suggested revision: a significant factor in increasing sales Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the commercial effect more naturally.
- 6. Clarify the method Original: in many ways by over packaging Suggested revision: through excessive packaging Why it matters: The revision states the method directly and removes vague wording.
- 7. Use indefinite article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: The tray is introduced for the first time, so an indefinite article is required.
- 8. Use the right noun Original: packets Suggested revision: packaging Why it matters: Packaging is the appropriate uncountable noun for layers surrounding a product.
- 9. Use formal phrasing Original: sorts Suggested revision: types Why it matters: This alternative is more concise and formal in an academic essay.
- 10. Fix verb form Original: are over packing products Suggested revision: are excessively packaging products Why it matters: Overpacking is not naturally used as a separated progressive verb here.
- 11. Remove redundant phrase Original: for the sake of customers’ benefit Suggested revision: for customers’ benefit Why it matters: For the sake of and benefit express the same purpose, so using both is redundant.
- 12. Correct linking phrase Original: From this regards Suggested revision: In this regard Why it matters: In this regard is the correct fixed expression for linking this inference.
Suggested Rewrites
- a true fact to consider a fact
- an the
- give assertion present arguments
- lucrative looking attractive
- a significant factor for selling more a significant factor in increasing sales
- in many ways by over packaging through excessive packaging
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response maintains a clear final position and offers relevant discussion of packaging motives, costs, and environmental harm. Its main limitation is that the producer-responsibility side is handled indirectly and much of the discussion is compressed into one long body paragraph, while frequent collocation and grammatical errors reduce precision. Prioritise a direct comparison of consumer and producer responsibility, with separately developed paragraphs and more controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and reaches a clear position, but it explores producer responsibility less directly than consumer action.
Compare the two responsible parties explicitly and develop why one should bear the greater obligation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas generally progress from packaging motives to consumer and environmental consequences, but the single extended body paragraph weakens organisation.
Separate the competing perspectives into focused paragraphs and use clearer transitions between claims.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and word-form errors reduce accuracy and naturalness.
Replace imprecise combinations such as descriptions of packaging effects with simpler, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms conveys the main meaning, although recurring errors in articles, prepositions, agreement, and clause construction reduce control.
Prioritise accurate clause boundaries and systematically check articles, prepositions, and verb forms.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.