Do you think consumers should avoid over packed products or it is the responsibility of product producers to avoid extra packaging of products?
Sample Response
Over-packaging of products has become a trend in today's competitive world. Producers are trying to attract consumers with an attractive packaging of their products, not bothered about its negative impact not only on our environment but the users as well. It should be the responsibility of the producers to limit the wastage of the resources in the form of unnecessary packaging.
The cost of over packaging is actually added to the product sold. In fact, at times it is seen the packing cost and durability is more that the product itself. The type of packaging found in pharmaceutical industries can be taken as an example here. Pills and tablets are found to be packed in much bigger and colourful strips than needed. Does this increase the sale of medicine? No. Such packaging is of no concern to the consumers. But, the cost of medicine would have definitely been lesser if sold in a simple outlook.
Further, the material used is mostly non-disposable which adds to the environmental pollution to a great extent. Snacks and other food items packaged in eye-catchy shimmering coloured packets are consumed on a large scale by everybody. These packets are really difficult to dispose of as they emit poisonous gas if burnt and if not can be seen to contaminate water somewhere. Producers should realise the importance of using materials like paper and stick to simple packaging.
Packaging as seen increases the cost of the product and also makes our environment unhealthy. So, this packaging boom should be checked on a serious note by the producers. Moreover, the producers should be restricted to predefined rules and parameters set by the government. It is also recommended that an awareness among the users that quality of the product is important rather than the attractive packaging.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect article Original: an attractive packaging Suggested revision: attractive packaging Why it matters: Packaging is uncountable here, so it should not take the article 'an'.
- 2. Fix dangling modifier Original: not bothered about Suggested revision: without considering Why it matters: The participial phrase does not connect grammatically to the subject of the main clause.
- 3. Complete correlative pair Original: but the users as well Suggested revision: but also on users Why it matters: This completes the 'not only ... but also' construction and supplies the missing preposition.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: the wastage of the resources Suggested revision: the waste of resources Why it matters: 'Waste of resources' is the standard collocation for unnecessary resource use.
- 5. Use singular industry Original: pharmaceutical industries Suggested revision: the pharmaceutical industry Why it matters: The sentence refers to the sector as a whole, which requires the singular form and a definite article.
- 6. Use direct wording Original: are found to be packed Suggested revision: are often packed Why it matters: The revision states the observed practice more directly and naturally.
- 7. Choose precise adjective Original: much bigger Suggested revision: much larger Why it matters: 'Larger' is more precise for the physical size of packaging strips.
- 8. Clarify comparison Original: than needed Suggested revision: than necessary Why it matters: 'Than necessary' forms a more complete and formal comparison.
- 9. Fix transition punctuation Original: But, Suggested revision: However, Why it matters: 'However' works naturally with the following comma, whereas 'But' should not be followed by one here.
- 10. Fix conditional comparison Original: would have definitely been lesser Suggested revision: would definitely be lower Why it matters: This is a present hypothetical result, and prices are described as lower rather than lesser.
- 11. Name packaging directly Original: simple outlook Suggested revision: simpler packaging Why it matters: 'Outlook' does not mean the physical form in which medicine is packaged.
- 12. Use intended property Original: non-disposable Suggested revision: non-biodegradable Why it matters: The environmental point concerns material that does not break down naturally, not material that cannot be discarded.
Suggested Rewrites
- an attractive packaging attractive packaging
- not bothered about without considering
- but the users as well but also on users
- the wastage of the resources the waste of resources
- pharmaceutical industries the pharmaceutical industry
- are found to be packed are often packed
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response takes a clear position and supports it with relevant arguments about product cost and environmental harm, using concrete packaging examples throughout. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in wording and sentence construction, which sometimes makes otherwise sensible points sound awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to use more accurate collocations and proofread complex sentences for complete, grammatically controlled expression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response presents a clear position and develops two relevant reasons with specific examples and a consistent conclusion.
Develop the proposed government and consumer measures more precisely to add depth beyond the main producer-focused arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion, with generally effective linking.
Use referencing and transitions more naturally so that connections do not rely on formulaic markers such as ‘Further’ and ‘Moreover’.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, but several inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward phrases such as ‘simple outlook’ and ‘checked on a serious note’ with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, although article, agreement, and sentence-completion errors recur.
Proofread each complex sentence for complete clause structure, accurate articles, and subject-verb agreement.