Nowadays, many people do not repair old things to use them further and throw old things away when they buy new things. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects this phenomenon has?
Sample Response
In today's consumer-driven society, a concerning phenomenon has emerged where people are increasingly discarding old items instead of repairing them for further use. This essay will examine the factors contributing to this behaviour and explore the effects it has on individuals and the environment.
Several factors can be attributed to the trend of not repairing old items. Firstly, the rapid pace of technological advancements has led to the availability of new and improved products at affordable prices. As a result, people are enticed by the latest features and functionalities, making them more inclined to discard their old belongings and purchase new ones.
Secondly, the prevalence of planned obsolescence plays a significant role in this phenomenon. Many manufacturers intentionally design products with a limited lifespan to encourage frequent replacement. This marketing strategy creates a mindset of disposability, where individuals feel that repairing old items is not worth the time, effort, or cost, considering the availability of cheaper alternatives.
The consequences of this phenomenon are multifaceted. On an individual level, the habit of discarding rather than repairing reinforces a culture of instant gratification and overconsumption. People become accustomed to the idea of constantly upgrading and discarding items, which can lead to financial strain and unsustainable consumption patterns. Additionally, the act of discarding old items contributes to the accumulation of waste, placing a burden on already overwhelmed landfills and causing environmental degradation.
Moreover, this behaviour perpetuates a throwaway culture that undervalues the importance of resource conservation. By disregarding the potential value of repairing and reusing items, valuable resources and materials are squandered, exacerbating the strain on the environment and exacerbating issues such as deforestation, energy consumption, and pollution associated with the manufacturing of new goods.
To conclude, the tendency to discard old items instead of repairing them stems from factors such as technological advancements and planned obsolescence. However, this behaviour has significant effects on individuals, the economy, and the environment. It promotes unsustainable consumption patterns, strains financial resources, and contributes to the mounting waste problem.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct relative form Original: phenomenon has emerged where Suggested revision: phenomenon has emerged in which Why it matters: Use “in which” rather than “where” to refer formally to a phenomenon.
- 2. Reverse the attribution Original: Several factors can be attributed to the trend Suggested revision: The trend can be attributed to several factors Why it matters: The trend is the result, so it should be attributed to the factors rather than the reverse.
- 3. Use concise collocation Original: advancements Suggested revision: advances Why it matters: “Technological advances” is a more concise and natural collocation here.
- 4. Avoid redundant wording Original: functionalities Suggested revision: functions Why it matters: “Functionalities” is unnecessarily technical and overlaps in meaning with “features.”
- 5. Use natural phrasing Original: mindset of disposability Suggested revision: disposable mindset Why it matters: The adjective-noun phrase is more natural and direct in this context.
- 6. Fix the relative phrase Original: where individuals feel Suggested revision: in which individuals feel Why it matters: A mindset is an abstract condition, so “in which” is more grammatically appropriate than “where.”
- 7. Clarify the reason Original: considering Suggested revision: given Why it matters: “Given” expresses the causal relationship more directly than “considering.”
- 8. Correct the preposition Original: On Suggested revision: At Why it matters: The standard expression uses “at” with “level.”
- 9. Remove wordiness Original: the idea of constantly upgrading Suggested revision: constantly upgrading Why it matters: Removing “the idea of” makes the statement more direct without changing its meaning.
- 10. Specify the affected finances Original: strains financial resources Suggested revision: strains people’s finances Why it matters: This wording identifies whose finances are affected and sounds more natural.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: By disregarding the potential value of repairing and reusing items, valuable resources and materials are squandered, exacerbating the strain on the environment and exacerbating issues such as deforestation, energy consumption, and pollution associated with the manufacturing of new goods. Suggested revision: Disregarding the value of repair and reuse squanders valuable materials, increases environmental pressure, and worsens deforestation, energy consumption, and pollution linked to manufacturing new goods. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the repeated “exacerbating,” fixes the dangling opening phrase, and reduces wordiness.
Suggested Rewrites
- phenomenon has emerged where phenomenon has emerged in which
- Several factors can be attributed to the trend The trend can be attributed to several factors
- advancements advances
- functionalities functions
- mindset of disposability disposable mindset
- where individuals feel in which individuals feel
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully explains two convincing causes—affordable technological upgrades and planned obsolescence—and traces their personal and environmental consequences in a clear, well-developed structure. Its strongest feature is the logical cause-and-effect reasoning, while the main limitation is some repetition, especially around discarding, consumption, and environmental strain. Prioritise adding one concrete example and tightening repeated language so the already strong analysis becomes more specific and economical.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed through two well-explained causes and several developed financial, behavioural, waste, and resource consequences.
Add one concise real-world example of planned obsolescence or landfill pressure to make the analysis more concrete and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced and effectively paragraphed from causes to individual and environmental effects, with clear progression throughout.
Merge or more distinctly differentiate the two environmental-effect paragraphs and avoid repeating the same strain-on-the-environment point.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and well suited to consumerism and environmental impact, with only occasional repetition and slightly formulaic phrasing.
Vary repeated words such as ‘phenomenon’, ‘discarding’, ‘items’, and ‘exacerbating’ while retaining the essay’s precise academic tone.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare minor awkwardness that does not affect clarity.
Refine the ‘where individuals feel’ clause and ensure modifying phrases such as ‘considering the availability’ attach as directly as possible.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, many people do not repair old things to use them further and throw old things away when they buy new things. What factors cause this phenomenon? What effects this phenomenon has?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.