Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have huge negative effects on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Today’s in a modern-driven world where human contact is so fast and quickly seems real because of ample advancement in technology. Numerous social sites are becoming popular among youngsters. However, these sites such as Facebook and instagram have significant adverse effects on both societies and people. I agree with assertion because these sites are not only responsible for spreading false information of people but also developing an isolated community.
To begin with, unlike in the past time, these days society isolation seems a popular site because now individuals spend most of their time on social sites. People, especially youngsters, are more likely to spend leisure time on Facebook, twitter than spending it with neighbors and friends. This tendency indeed leads to social isolation, which is not helpful to develop trust and cooperation. For example, a survey reveals that large proportion of people in the UK are utilizing more time on social sites by chatting other people than spending time with local people and this is affecting their relationship among society remarkably. Therefore, social sites have a negative impact on society.
Furthermore, teenagers are too immature to use social sites, and they can be easily targeted by anti-social ailments. These offenders use children as a tool to steal the secret information of their parents, which results in the financial loss of individuals. Moreover, these sites are supposed to spread misguided details, which is sometimes responsible for conflicts. It is generally said that the information which is being forwarded enormously on networking sites is not precise. So this can affect the personal choice to a large extent because sometimes this bias information is related to a celebrity or famous person.
To sum up, although social sites have numerous benefits such as making new friends from other places and instant connectivity, the adverse effects on society and individuals cannot be denied. I personally believe that social sites are not only becoming a platform for spreading false information but also sometimes responsible for confiding individual’s secret financial information. Therefore, these networking sites seem to have more negative effects than positive.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize proper noun Original: instagram Suggested revision: Instagram Why it matters: The name of the platform requires a capital letter.
- 2. Add determiner Original: agree with assertion Suggested revision: agree with this assertion Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs a determiner.
- 3. Correct preposition Original: of Suggested revision: about Why it matters: “About” correctly introduces the subject of the information.
- 4. Clarify the effect Original: developing an isolated community Suggested revision: creating social isolation Why it matters: This phrase accurately names the negative social condition being described.
- 5. Join and capitalize Original: Facebook, twitter Suggested revision: Facebook and Twitter Why it matters: The two platform names need a conjunction, and both are proper nouns.
- 6. Make comparison parallel Original: than spending it with neighbors and friends Suggested revision: rather than with neighbors and friends Why it matters: The revision completes the comparison without repeating an unclear pronoun.
- 7. Use active structure Original: not helpful to develop trust Suggested revision: does not help to develop trust Why it matters: The active verb form fits the relative clause more naturally.
- 8. Correct word choice Original: anti-social ailments Suggested revision: antisocial individuals Why it matters: “Ailments” means illnesses and cannot refer to the offenders described next.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: secret information of their parents Suggested revision: their parents’ confidential information Why it matters: This phrasing states possession clearly and uses the standard adjective for sensitive information.
- 10. Correct number and preposition Original: financial loss of individuals Suggested revision: financial losses for individuals Why it matters: The plural noun and “for” correctly express harm experienced by multiple people.
- 11. Express capability Original: are supposed to spread Suggested revision: can spread Why it matters: “Supposed to” implies an intended function rather than a possible harmful effect.
- 12. Use accurate term Original: misguided details Suggested revision: misleading information Why it matters: Information can be misleading, whereas “misguided details” is not a natural collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- instagram Instagram
- agree with assertion agree with this assertion
- of about
- developing an isolated community creating social isolation
- Facebook, twitter Facebook and Twitter
- than spending it with neighbors and friends rather than with neighbors and friends
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear position and uses a sensible paragraph structure, with social isolation and misinformation providing relevant support. Its main limitation is frequent imprecise or incorrect language, which makes several claims about crime, privacy, and social relationships hard to follow and weakens their development. The highest-priority improvement is to express each main idea in accurate, natural sentences and then explain its effect with one concrete, logically connected example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear agreement position is maintained and relevant negative effects are discussed, although some supporting claims are unclear or insufficiently developed.
Develop two well-defined effects by explaining the causal link and giving a credible, specific example for each one.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognizable progression with focused paragraphs, but some internal links and references are mechanical or unclear.
Use precise referencing and arrange each body paragraph as one main claim followed by explanation, example, and consequence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows some range for discussing technology and society, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Prioritize natural collocations such as social isolation, false information, and financial fraud, and check that every chosen word expresses the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied complex structures, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, prepositions, and sentence construction reduce control.
Build accurate core clauses first, then add subordinate clauses while checking articles, verb forms, and prepositions systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that social networking sites such as Facebook have huge negative effects on society and individuals. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.