Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Education is a possession which makes a person stand tall and high. It adds to the overall physical personality of the person and makes him stand apart and outshines others who don’t possess it. Education is an eternal rock which never withers, not even during the wild waves of evil. It is only education which makes people bow in front of the educated and is one of the moral fabrics of any country which binds the whole society into one nation. It is due to this high pedestal which the education occupies that higher education must be provided by the State, albeit to those subjects of the state who are economically weak. There are, however, two schools of thought. One school of thought is of the view that the cost of higher studies should be borne by the students themselves. However, in such a scenario, all those meritorious students who are unable to continue their education for want of money (read economic resources) would be left with no option but to get themselves tagged as ‘drop outs’ by the society, due to no fault of theirs. ‘No student should be left deprived of education’ must be one of the objectives (read fundamental duty) of every Nation/State. On the other hand, a student who thrives for education must be wholeheartedly supported by the Nation/State. No stone must be left unturned to make available the most precious of the stones, i.e. the education, to the student. It is so because education is something which is dearer than the fine opals, more precious than emeralds! There’ve been quite a lot instances in the recent past, and even now, wherein the entire cost of higher studies of a student is sponsored by the State. The recent example which supports this is the educational sponsorship which was provided by the state government of ABC (a country) to the son of a widower who earns her livelihood by cleaning utensils at a roadside restaurant. It can thus be candidly concluded that education does elevate the horizon and encourages the mankind to labour at present for accruing enjoyment at a later stage in life. Consequently, the state must take responsibility, to a certain extent and for a certain set of individuals based on economic criteria to provide them with free higher education opportunities. This, in return, would only help the State/Nation to become independent and economically stable.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix noun expression Original: one of the moral fabrics Suggested revision: part of the moral fabric Why it matters: Moral fabric is normally a singular collective metaphor.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: high pedestal which the education occupies Suggested revision: high value placed on education Why it matters: The revision expresses the importance of education without an awkward metaphor.
- 3. Use modern term Original: subjects Suggested revision: citizens Why it matters: Citizens is the appropriate modern term for members of a state.
- 4. Remove repetition Original: One school of thought is of the view Suggested revision: One view is Why it matters: The shorter phrase avoids repeating the same idea twice.
- 5. Use precise term Original: studies Suggested revision: education Why it matters: Higher education is the standard term for university-level study.
- 6. Use clear phrasing Original: for want of money Suggested revision: because they lack money Why it matters: The revision states the financial barrier more directly.
- 7. Delete editorial aside Original: (read economic resources) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This parenthetical aside is unnecessary and interrupts the formal argument.
- 8. Fix awkward phrasing Original: get themselves tagged as Suggested revision: be labelled as Why it matters: Be labelled as is the natural passive construction here.
- 9. Remove article Original: by the society Suggested revision: by society Why it matters: Society takes no article when it refers generally to the social community.
- 10. Delete editorial aside Original: (read fundamental duty) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The parenthetical instruction sounds conversational and disrupts the formal register.
- 11. Fix verb choice Original: thrives for education Suggested revision: strives for an education Why it matters: Strives for expresses determined effort, whereas thrives for is not idiomatic.
- 12. Add missing preposition Original: quite a lot instances Suggested revision: quite a lot of instances Why it matters: The quantifier a lot requires of before a plural noun.
Suggested Rewrites
- one of the moral fabrics part of the moral fabric
- high pedestal which the education occupies high value placed on education
- subjects citizens
- One school of thought is of the view One view is
- studies education
- for want of money because they lack money
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s clearest strength is its definite, qualified position that state funding should protect capable students who lack financial means, reinforced by a relevant sponsorship example. Its main limitation is that extensive rhetorical praise of education replaces sustained analysis of who should pay and creates a repetitive, unstructured argument. The highest-priority improvement is to develop two focused policy reasons in separate paragraphs using direct, precise language and controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear qualified disagreement is expressed and supported through the access needs of economically disadvantaged students, but the policy analysis remains narrow.
Explain another direct consequence of full student funding or state support and relate each paragraph explicitly to the extent of agreement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The position and supporting example are discernible, but the single-paragraph presentation and repeated metaphors weaken progression and focus.
Organise the response into an introduction, two distinct policy arguments, and a concise conclusion without repeated rhetorical digressions.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a broad and ambitious vocabulary, but frequent unnatural collocations, ornate metaphors, and imprecise choices reduce clarity.
Prefer direct academic terms for access, affordability, and public funding instead of expressions such as “wild waves of evil” or “elevate the horizon.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied structures are attempted and the main meaning remains accessible, though recurring agreement, article, relative-clause, and sentence-boundary problems are noticeable.
Use shorter controlled sentences and proofread articles, agreement, and relative clauses before adding stylistic complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Students should pay the full cost of their own university studies, rather than have free higher education provided by the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.