The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Sample Response
Nowadays, life has changed dramatically due to technological developments and globalizations. Many orthodox ways of spending lives have become obsolete and outdated. Some people still adhere to their traditions and cultures and are very reluctant to accept new and modern ways of lives. However, some people state that in order to compete with the current challenges, we should train our younger generation with the latest and trendy ideas.
Firstly, people used to live in the joint family system in the past decades. This gave them the opportunity to learn from their ancestors about various aspects of life. There was always a special place for elder people of the family and younger used to obey and respect them and followed their instructions in every possible. Such kind of love and respect is hard to see in modern lifestyle. Adults nowadays have become more independent, and are showing less respect towards their parents’ decisions and other aspects of life.
Secondly, there has been an element of care for their family and other members of the society in the past. Now, everyone first thinks about their own benefit and less likely to care about others. By this, I mean that new ideas contribute in making our generation selfish and egoist.
Thirdly, there is a significant change in people’s behaviour in the modern world; they have less patience while doing any work. They have become less active and more opted towards shortcuts and less mean of work.
Finally, I strongly believe that traditional ways for preparing younger generation is idle and have many in-deniable benefits than modern ways of handling youngsters.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use uncountable form Original: globalizations Suggested revision: globalization Why it matters: Globalization is normally an uncountable singular noun in this context.
- 2. Choose precise wording Original: orthodox Suggested revision: traditional Why it matters: Traditional directly describes inherited ways of living, whereas orthodox usually concerns accepted beliefs.
- 3. Correct the collocation Original: spending lives Suggested revision: living Why it matters: Ways of living is the natural expression for lifestyles.
- 4. Remove repetition Original: obsolete and outdated Suggested revision: obsolete Why it matters: Obsolete and outdated repeat the same meaning.
- 5. Correct noun form Original: lives Suggested revision: life Why it matters: Life is singular in the fixed expression ways of life.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: compete with the current challenges Suggested revision: meet current challenges Why it matters: People meet challenges rather than compete with them.
- 7. Use suitable verb Original: train Suggested revision: prepare Why it matters: Prepare better matches readiness for modern life than train.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: latest and trendy ideas Suggested revision: modern ideas Why it matters: Modern is more precise and formal than the redundant phrase latest and trendy.
- 9. Correct determiner form Original: Such Suggested revision: This Why it matters: The singular noun kind requires this in this construction.
- 10. Add an article Original: in modern lifestyle Suggested revision: in a modern lifestyle Why it matters: The singular countable noun lifestyle requires an article.
- 11. Remove incorrect comma Original: independent, and Suggested revision: independent and Why it matters: A comma should not separate two coordinated verb phrases with the same subject.
- 12. Correct the preposition Original: towards Suggested revision: for Why it matters: Respect for is the standard collocation before its object.
Suggested Rewrites
- globalizations globalization
- orthodox traditional
- spending lives living
- obsolete and outdated obsolete
- lives life
- compete with the current challenges meet current challenges
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response presents a consistent preference for traditional values and offers relevant observations about family respect, care for others, and patience. However, the position is delayed until the final sentence, several claims receive only brief assertion, and persistent language errors reduce clarity; the highest-priority improvement is to state the degree of agreement in the introduction and develop each supporting idea with a concrete explanation or example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay ultimately gives a relevant position and several supporting reasons, but that position is unclear in the introduction and the reasons are only partly developed.
State a precise degree of agreement at the outset and explain how each traditional value specifically prepares young people for modern life.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a recognisable sequence of ideas, but ordinal linking is mechanical and the short later paragraphs create an uneven progression.
Group related points into fully developed body paragraphs linked by their logical relationship rather than by a numbered list.
Lexical Resource
The writer attempts a reasonably varied vocabulary, but inaccurate forms and awkward choices such as globalizations, ways of lives, and idle frequently impair precision.
Choose familiar words accurately and proofread collocations and word forms before using less common vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors with articles, plurals, agreement, and incomplete constructions reduce control and sometimes disrupt reading.
Build accurate complete clauses first, with particular attention to articles and subject-verb agreement, before combining them into longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.