The graph below shows the average cost of housing in three different areas.
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the average cost of housing in rural, suburban and urban areas in 1990 and 2000. A glance at the graph reveals that housing costs more than doubled in just 10 years. Getting back to details, costs of housing in all areas – urban, suburban and rural areas increased significantly from 1990 to 2000. However, the cost of housing in rural areas did not increase that much compared to the soaring prices in urban and suburban areas. The urban housing costs doubled in a decade and cost of housing in suburban areas increased a great deal. In contrast to those soaring prices, the rural cost for housing went up in a smaller proportion. Like the city areas, it increased but not that much. In 1990, housing cost in the rural area was 75 thousand dollar and it reached to 125 thousand in 10 years. During the same period, housing costs in suburban places ascended to 275 thousand dollars from just hundred thousand in a decade earlier. Finally, the housing price in metropolitan areas went as high as 300 thousand dollars in 2000 from half of that a decade age.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use formal transition Original: Getting back to details Suggested revision: More specifically Why it matters: The revision provides a more appropriate transition into the detailed figures.
- 2. Close parenthetical phrase Original: areas – urban, suburban and rural areas Suggested revision: areas—urban, suburban and rural— Why it matters: The inserted list needs closing punctuation and does not need to repeat "areas".
- 3. Use precise comparison Original: did not increase that much Suggested revision: increased less sharply Why it matters: The revision expresses the relative rate of increase more concisely.
- 4. Use neutral language Original: the soaring prices Suggested revision: the sharp increases Why it matters: Neutral trend language is more suitable for an objective chart report.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: The urban housing costs Suggested revision: Urban housing costs Why it matters: No definite article is needed for this general category reference.
- 6. Add missing article Original: and cost of housing in suburban areas Suggested revision: and the cost of housing in suburban areas Why it matters: The singular countable phrase needs the definite article in this coordinated comparison.
- 7. Use concise trend wording Original: increased a great deal Suggested revision: increased sharply Why it matters: The revision describes the substantial rise more directly.
- 8. Use natural collocation Original: the rural cost for housing Suggested revision: rural housing costs Why it matters: "Rural housing costs" is the natural and concise noun phrase.
- 9. Correct change expression Original: went up in a smaller proportion Suggested revision: rose by a smaller amount Why it matters: A monetary cost rises by an amount, not in a proportion.
- 10. Avoid vague wording Original: but not that much Suggested revision: but less sharply Why it matters: The revision makes the comparison with the other increases explicit.
- 11. Repair noun phrase Original: housing cost in the rural area Suggested revision: the cost of housing in rural areas Why it matters: The revised phrase supplies the article and refers naturally to the category as a whole.
- 12. Use plural currency Original: dollar Suggested revision: dollars Why it matters: The currency unit must be plural after a number greater than one.
Suggested Rewrites
- Getting back to details More specifically
- areas – urban, suburban and rural areas areas—urban, suburban and rural—
- did not increase that much increased less sharply
- the soaring prices the sharp increases
- The urban housing costs Urban housing costs
- and cost of housing in suburban areas and the cost of housing in suburban areas
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response selects all three areas and reports the key values accurately, with a useful contrast between rural growth and the much steeper suburban increase. The main weakness is a misleading overview claim that housing costs generally more than doubled, alongside repetitive sequencing and several awkward grammatical forms. Prioritise an exact overview stating that every area rose, while only suburban prices more than doubled.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report covers all categories with accurate figures, but its claim that housing costs more than doubled is not true of rural or urban housing.
Write an overview that distinguishes the moderate rural rise, the doubling of urban costs, and the near-tripling of suburban costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The comparisons follow a broadly clear sequence, although repetition and the absence of paragraph breaks weaken the organisation.
Separate the overview from the details and group the urban and suburban surges before contrasting them with rural growth.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing changes, but collocations such as ‘went up in a smaller proportion’ and ‘ascended to’ lack precision.
Use standard data language such as ‘rose by a smaller amount’, ‘increased from’, and ‘almost tripled’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms conveys the comparisons clearly, despite recurring article, preposition, agreement, and word-form errors.
Edit constructions such as ‘reached to’, ‘75 thousand dollar’, and ‘a decade age’ for accurate forms and agreement.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the average cost of housing in three different areas.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.