The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the mean variation in the price of a house in five various cities when compared with that in 1989 in a period of 12 years from the year 1990. Overall, it is clearly shown that majority of these five cities had their house prices lower from 1990 to 1995 than that in the year 1989 whereas all cities showed an upward trend in the average house prices between the years 1996 and 2002 except Frankfurt.
First and foremost, the house prices in Tokyo were lower than that in the year 1989 throughout the given period. However, there was a rise in the house prices from 1996 to 2002 than from 1990 to 1995 (-5% and approximately -7% respectively) which was comparatively lower than that in 1989. Furthermore, every city had its house prices rising over the period except Frankfurt in Germany which showed a slight drop of about 1%.
Interestingly, London was the city that had the largest variation in house prices among the five cities from 1990 to 2002 in comparison with that in 1989 (around 19% in total). There was a bigger fluctuation in house prices in New York than in Madrid in Spain (10% and nearly 5% correspondingly).
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the chart Original: The diagram Suggested revision: The bar chart Why it matters: The visual is specifically a bar chart.
- 2. Use precise measure Original: mean variation in the price of a house Suggested revision: average percentage change in house prices Why it matters: The y-axis presents percentage changes in average house prices.
- 3. Remove awkward wording Original: five various cities Suggested revision: five cities Why it matters: “Various” is unnecessary because the number and locations already establish difference.
- 4. Clarify the baseline Original: when compared with that in 1989 Suggested revision: compared with 1989 levels Why it matters: The plural noun “levels” correctly refers to house-price levels across the cities.
- 5. Name both periods Original: in a period of 12 years from the year 1990 Suggested revision: across the periods 1990–1995 and 1996–2002 Why it matters: The chart compares two multi-year averages rather than one continuous twelve-year series.
- 6. Add the article Original: that majority of these five cities Suggested revision: that the majority of these five cities Why it matters: The noun “majority” requires the definite article in this structure.
- 7. Clarify the comparison Original: their house prices lower from 1990 to 1995 than that in the year 1989 Suggested revision: house prices below 1989 levels from 1990 to 1995 Why it matters: The revision removes the faulty singular pronoun and states the baseline directly.
- 8. Avoid implying a trend Original: all cities showed an upward trend Suggested revision: all cities recorded a higher percentage change Why it matters: Two period averages support a comparison, not a continuous upward trend.
- 9. Supply the comparator Original: between the years 1996 and 2002 except Frankfurt Suggested revision: in 1996–2002 than in 1990–1995, except Frankfurt Why it matters: The claim needs to identify the earlier period being compared.
- 10. Fix price comparison Original: were lower than that in the year 1989 throughout Suggested revision: were below 1989 levels throughout Why it matters: The plural house prices should be compared directly with the baseline levels.
- 11. Compare period averages Original: every city had its house prices rising over the period Suggested revision: every city recorded a higher percentage change in 1996–2002 Why it matters: The bars compare average changes across two periods rather than trace continuous rises.
- 12. Correct Frankfurt value Original: which showed a slight drop of about 1% Suggested revision: which recorded an increase of about 1% Why it matters: Frankfurt is about 1% above the 1989 baseline in 1996–2002, not 1% below it.
Suggested Rewrites
- The diagram The bar chart
- mean variation in the price of a house average percentage change in house prices
- five various cities five cities
- when compared with that in 1989 compared with 1989 levels
- in a period of 12 years from the year 1990 across the periods 1990–1995 and 1996–2002
- that majority of these five cities that the majority of these five cities
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is logically organised and offers an effective overview, correctly highlighting the general improvement in the second period, Frankfurt's exception, and London's largest change. Its main limitation is uneven numerical coverage, with the Frankfurt and Madrid changes reported inaccurately or ambiguously and several cities lacking precise figures. The strongest improvement would be to verify change amounts and compare both periods systematically for all five cities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview captures the main pattern and London's standout movement, but some figures are inaccurate or ambiguous and coverage of the cities is uneven.
Report both period values more systematically and distinguish Frankfurt's two-point fall from its final value of about one percent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a generally logical sequence support progression, though some comparisons repeat the overview and the final grouping is incomplete.
Organise the details into one group for falling first-period figures and another for the positive second-period figures.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range for comparison, but terms such as diagram, fluctuation, and variation are sometimes applied imprecisely.
Prefer exact chart language such as percentage change, rose from, and percentage points when comparing the two periods.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex sentences with generally clear meaning, but awkward comparative structures and occasional article errors remain noticeable.
Revise comparisons into controlled forms such as prices rose from minus seven percent to minus five percent.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.