The bar charts below show the average of annual working hours and the average duration of holidays in five European countries. Average number of working hours per person in a year Average duration of holidays in hours per person in a year
Sample Response
The bar graphs outline the average duration of working hours and holidays in France, UK, Finland, Germany and Switzerland. Generally speaking, Germans work more hours annually and enjoy the least duration of holidays and the reverse is true for the working hours and holiday ratio in Switzerland. The data in the first bar graph reveals that Germans have the highest number of office hours, around 1900 hours in a year for an employee, which is significantly higher than that of a Swiss employee. The least working hours could be observed in Switzerland which accounts for 1200 hours per person per year. An English work for over 1600 hours per year which is around 1500 and 1600 for French and Finns respectively. The second bar graph shows that, despite having the highest working hours, Germans have the least duration of holidays, 120 hours annually. Interestingly, Swiss employees are offered the highest holiday duration in spite of their least duration of office hours. The duration of holidays is almost the same in England and Finland, 140 hours roughly, but it is around 155 hours in France.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use chart term Original: bar graphs Suggested revision: bar charts Why it matters: Use the task's more precise term for these visuals.
- 2. Correct measured quantity Original: average duration of working hours Suggested revision: average annual working hours Why it matters: The chart measures a number of hours, not a duration of working hours.
- 3. Add definite article Original: UK Suggested revision: the UK Why it matters: The country name requires the definite article.
- 4. Use concise reporting Original: The data in the first bar graph reveals Suggested revision: The first bar chart shows Why it matters: This reporting phrase is more direct and natural for visual data.
- 5. Match chart wording Original: number of office hours Suggested revision: number of working hours Why it matters: Office hours are opening times, whereas the chart reports annual working hours.
- 6. State unit concisely Original: around 1900 hours in a year for an employee Suggested revision: around 1,900 hours per employee per year Why it matters: The replacement expresses the unit more concisely and clearly.
- 7. Clarify comparison Original: which is significantly higher than that of a Swiss employee Suggested revision: significantly more than a Swiss employee works Why it matters: The revision makes the two quantities being compared explicit.
- 8. Use chart term Original: The second bar graph Suggested revision: The second bar chart Why it matters: Bar chart is the more precise term used in the task.
- 9. Express quantity precisely Original: despite having the highest working hours Suggested revision: despite recording the highest number of working hours Why it matters: A country records a number of hours rather than having high hours.
- 10. Use natural comparison Original: least duration of holidays Suggested revision: shortest holiday duration Why it matters: Shortest holiday duration is the natural comparative expression.
- 11. Describe holiday length Original: are offered the highest holiday duration Suggested revision: have the longest holidays Why it matters: This wording expresses the comparison naturally without implying an unreported offer.
- 12. Correct comparison term Original: in spite of their least duration of office hours Suggested revision: despite recording the lowest annual working hours Why it matters: The chart concerns annual working hours, and lowest is required for the numerical comparison.
Suggested Rewrites
- bar graphs bar charts
- average duration of working hours average annual working hours
- UK the UK
- The data in the first bar graph reveals The first bar chart shows
- number of office hours number of working hours
- around 1900 hours in a year for an employee around 1,900 hours per employee per year
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview of the inverse pattern between working hours and holiday time and supports it with relevant, largely accurate figures for all five countries. Its main limitation is uneven language control, including awkward references and a malformed comparison sentence. The highest-priority improvement is to express cross-country comparisons in fully controlled sentences while retaining the concise, data-focused coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
A clear overview identifies both extremes, and the details cover all five countries with relevant, largely accurate figures and comparisons.
Add the exact Swiss holiday figure and make the middle-country comparisons more explicit to achieve fuller precision.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the overview to working-hour and holiday details, with generally effective linking between comparisons.
Use clearer referencing in comparisons so expressions such as "the reverse is true" point to precise relationships without momentary ambiguity.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and appropriate for describing charts, although a few choices such as "office hours" and "holiday ratio" are imprecise.
Prefer exact chart language such as "annual working hours" and "holiday entitlement" instead of less natural substitutes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex structures is used, but several errors in sentence formation and reference reduce control without obscuring the data.
Proofread subject forms and comparative clauses, especially the sentence beginning "An English work", to ensure each comparison has a complete grammatical structure.