Your local hospital has advertised people to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter: - explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital - say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do - give details of when you would be available for this work
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, It is magnificent to see such an admirable initiative on your part to motivate people to do some unpaid work to help your hospital in our town. While the advertisement does not exactly say what kind of unpaid work for which you are seeking help, I think that I could still be a part of this great initiative, simply because it would allow me to help ill people in the hospital while utilising my spare time to do something good for others. Besides, this little unpaid work experience would enable me to learn something noble that I would be able to use for the rest of my life. Again, I understand that you have not asked to fill in any specific vacant job positions in your advertisement, but I would surely love to assist a nurse or a doctor in taking the temperature of patients as well as checking their blood pressure to name a few ways I can help them. So, please consider me for the position of an 'unpaid worker' as it would not only allow me to gain some valuable experience but also help your regular staff to reduce some of their extra workloads. By the way, I am available to work every day from Monday to Friday from 4.00 pm to 7.30 pm. Yours faithfully, Adrian Farrel
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid overstatement Original: magnificent Suggested revision: encouraging Why it matters: Encouraging is a more measured word for a formal application letter.
- 2. Use volunteer wording Original: motivate people to do some unpaid work Suggested revision: invite people to volunteer Why it matters: This expresses the hospital's initiative more directly and naturally.
- 3. Use correct preposition Original: help your hospital in our town Suggested revision: help at our local hospital Why it matters: People volunteer at a hospital, and local avoids the awkward possessive contrast.
- 4. Remove double construction Original: what kind of unpaid work for which you are seeking help Suggested revision: what kind of unpaid work you need help with Why it matters: The original incorrectly combines what kind of work with for which.
- 5. State the intention directly Original: I think that I could still be a part Suggested revision: I would like to take part Why it matters: This makes the purpose of the application direct and confident.
- 6. Use precise noun Original: ill people in the hospital Suggested revision: patients Why it matters: Patients is the concise formal term for people receiving hospital care.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: utilising my spare time to do something good for others Suggested revision: using my spare time to help others Why it matters: The replacement communicates the same motivation without unnecessary wording.
- 8. Avoid minimising the role Original: this little unpaid work experience Suggested revision: this volunteering experience Why it matters: Little can sound dismissive, while volunteering experience is clear and appropriately formal.
- 9. Fix the collocation Original: learn something noble Suggested revision: gain valuable skills Why it matters: A person can perform a noble act, but learn something noble is not a natural collocation here.
- 10. Signal the role details Original: Again, I understand Suggested revision: Regarding the role, I understand Why it matters: This transition identifies the next requested topic more clearly than Again.
- 11. Fix the subject Original: you have not asked to fill in any specific vacant job positions Suggested revision: your advertisement did not list any specific volunteer roles Why it matters: The hospital lists roles, whereas an applicant fills a position.
- 12. Use formal willingness Original: I would surely love to Suggested revision: I would be happy to Why it matters: This is appropriately positive without sounding overly conversational.
Suggested Rewrites
- magnificent encouraging
- motivate people to do some unpaid work invite people to volunteer
- help your hospital in our town help at our local hospital
- what kind of unpaid work for which you are seeking help what kind of unpaid work you need help with
- I think that I could still be a part I would like to take part
- ill people in the hospital patients
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter covers all three requests with a clear reason for volunteering, a specific proposed role and precise weekday availability, while maintaining an appropriately formal stance. Its main weakness is over-elaborate and sometimes unnatural wording, and the suggested clinical tasks may sound unrealistic for an untrained volunteer; the priority is to request suitable supervised support duties in concise, professional language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose, motivation, proposed work and availability are all clear and developed, though taking vital signs may be unsuitable without stated training.
Offer plausible volunteer duties such as guiding visitors or helping with non-clinical administration, or clarify any relevant healthcare training.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow the task bullets in a broadly logical order, but repetition about the unspecified vacancy and some mechanical linkers reduce efficiency.
Give each bullet point one focused paragraph and remove repeated discussion of what the advertisement did not specify.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates good range, but inflated or awkward combinations such as magnificent initiative, learn something noble, and extra workloads weaken naturalness.
Use restrained professional wording such as worthwhile programme, gain useful experience, and reduce the staff's workload.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled, with occasional awkward constructions rather than frequent grammatical breakdowns.
Simplify clauses such as what kind of unpaid work for which you are seeking help and check pronoun references in long sentences.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Your local hospital has advertised people to do unpaid work helping at the hospital. You would like to do some work at the hospital in your free time. Write a letter to the hospital. In your letter:
- explain why you would like to do unpaid work at the hospital
- say what type of unpaid work you would be able to do
- give details of when you would be available for this work
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.