You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. Write a letter to a car hire company. In your letter: - explain the reason you need the car - describe the type of car you need - ask what the price is and what it includes
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to enquire about a car which I want to rent in order to go on a weeklong holiday with my family. We will travel to different parts of the country and sometimes travel for a long distance. I would prefer to rent a large and spacious minivan with six passenger seats. The car should be fully loaded and automatic. By the way, my grandfather is a person with limited mobility and uses a wheelchair. Therefore, it is absolutely essential that the automobile has enough space in it to keep the wheelchair. I would also like the car to have an automatic sliding door system so that my grandparents can enter and exit the vehicle easily. On top of that, I would also like a car with a rotating seat so that my grandfather can manoeuvre himself easily. And as for the other features, I would like to have a cruise control feature, an anti-lock brake system and heavy-duty tires since we would be travelling quite a long distance. Therefore, based on the requirements above, I would highly appreciate it if you could quote the rental price for me for a whole week. Yours faithfully, James Crowe
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove wordiness Original: writing this letter to enquire Suggested revision: writing to enquire Why it matters: The shorter phrase states the purpose directly.
- 2. Use polite rental wording Original: a car which I want to rent Suggested revision: a vehicle I would like to hire Why it matters: The revision is suitably polite and uses the standard British term for a car rental.
- 3. Use concise purpose phrase Original: in order to go on Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The preposition for expresses the holiday purpose without unnecessary words.
- 4. Hyphenate compound adjective Original: weeklong holiday Suggested revision: week-long holiday Why it matters: The compound adjective before holiday is conventionally hyphenated.
- 5. Use plural distance Original: travel for a long distance Suggested revision: travel long distances Why it matters: The plural is natural when describing repeated journeys to different places.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: a large and spacious minivan Suggested revision: a spacious minivan Why it matters: Spacious already communicates that the minivan is large inside.
- 7. Use natural verb Original: keep Suggested revision: store Why it matters: Store is the natural verb for placing a wheelchair securely in a vehicle.
- 8. Keep person consistent Original: grandparents Suggested revision: grandfather Why it matters: Only the grandfather is identified as needing wheelchair-accessible entry.
- 9. Use standard term Original: brake Suggested revision: braking Why it matters: Anti-lock braking system is the standard technical expression.
- 10. Ask what price includes Suggested revision: Request a breakdown of the weekly quote, including insurance, mileage, taxes, and any wheelchair-accessibility equipment charges. Why it matters: The task asks what the price includes, but the letter requests only the total rental price.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter to enquire writing to enquire
- a car which I want to rent a vehicle I would like to hire
- in order to go on for
- weeklong holiday week-long holiday
- travel for a long distance travel long distances
- a large and spacious minivan a spacious minivan
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly explains the family holiday and gives a highly specific description of a spacious, automatic, wheelchair-accessible minivan with appropriate mobility and safety features. Its main limitation is incomplete coverage of the final bullet: it requests a weekly price but never asks what that price includes. Prioritise asking about insurance, mileage limits, taxes, roadside assistance, deposits, and any charges for accessibility equipment.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The reason and vehicle requirements are fully developed, but the price request omits the required question about included services and charges.
Ask for an itemised weekly quotation showing insurance, mileage, tax, deposit, roadside assistance, and accessibility-equipment costs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses clearly from the travel purpose through capacity, wheelchair access, mobility features, safety equipment, and price.
Group the essential accessibility requirements separately from optional comfort and safety preferences to make priorities clearer.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for vehicle rental and accessibility, with occasional vague or informal terms such as ‘fully loaded’.
Use ‘fully equipped’, ‘wheelchair storage’, ‘swivelling seat’, ‘rental rate’, and ‘included charges’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of structures is generally well controlled, with minor repetition, reference, and article issues.
Avoid repeated ‘I would also like’ structures and keep singular references consistent when discussing the grandfather.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. Write a letter to a car hire company. In your letter:
- explain the reason you need the car
- describe the type of car you need
- ask what the price is and what it includes
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.