You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. Write a letter to a car hire company. In your letter: - explain the reason you need the car - describe the type of car you need - ask what the price is and what it includes
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am planning to organise a trip for my family to Manali during the upcoming summer holiday and for this, I want to hire a four-wheeler. I am writing to inquire about the availability of an eight-seater SUV within the time period of 5th to 10th November 2025. First, I would like to inform you that my grandfather is in a wheelchair and he is also escorting us on the trip. Hence the vehicle should be spacious enough as the comfort of the passengers is the foremost consideration for us. Moreover, we have never been to Manali and we are totally unaware of the road maps. A car with a GPRS facility will be highly appreciated in this situation. And finally, I hope that there is no need to mention that we are expecting an AC drive in this hot summer. Please confirm the availability of the vehicle comprising of the aforementioned amenities or an alternative with details, in the case of unavailability. I would be grateful if you can provide the quote for the same. Also, I am looking forward to hearing about any concession from your side on the reservation of the car well in advance with cash payment. In anticipation of hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Amita Rukhanee
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise term Original: four-wheeler Suggested revision: vehicle Why it matters: Vehicle is a clearer and more natural term in a formal car-hire enquiry.
- 2. Use formal phrasing Original: and for this, I want to hire Suggested revision: and would therefore like to hire Why it matters: This wording states the request more formally and smoothly.
- 3. Choose natural verb Original: he is also escorting us on the trip Suggested revision: he will also be accompanying us on the trip Why it matters: Accompanying accurately describes a family member travelling with the group.
- 4. Improve transition Original: Hence the vehicle Suggested revision: Therefore, the vehicle Why it matters: Therefore with a comma links the accessibility need more naturally to the vehicle requirement.
- 5. Use direct wording Original: foremost consideration Suggested revision: top priority Why it matters: Top priority is concise and natural in this practical request.
- 6. Correct awkward phrase Original: totally unaware of the road maps Suggested revision: unfamiliar with the local roads Why it matters: People are unfamiliar with roads rather than unaware of road maps in this context.
- 7. Refine transition Original: And finally Suggested revision: Finally Why it matters: Finally introduces the last vehicle requirement without the unnecessary initial conjunction.
- 8. Remove indirect phrase Original: there is no need to mention that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Deleting this phrase makes the request more direct and courteous.
- 9. Name vehicle feature Original: AC drive Suggested revision: air-conditioned vehicle Why it matters: Air-conditioned vehicle is the standard expression for the requested feature.
- 10. Fix verb pattern Original: comprising of Suggested revision: with Why it matters: Comprise does not take of in this construction, and with is the clearest replacement.
- 11. Clarify alternative request Original: or an alternative with details, in the case of unavailability Suggested revision: or, if it is unavailable, details of a suitable alternative Why it matters: The revision clearly connects the condition of unavailability to the request for an alternative.
- 12. Specify requested quote Original: provide the quote for the same Suggested revision: provide a quotation for the hire Why it matters: This formal wording identifies exactly what the quotation should cover.
Suggested Rewrites
- four-wheeler vehicle
- and for this, I want to hire and would therefore like to hire
- he is also escorting us on the trip he will also be accompanying us on the trip
- Hence the vehicle Therefore, the vehicle
- foremost consideration top priority
- totally unaware of the road maps unfamiliar with the local roads
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a clear formal purpose and gives useful detail about the trip, the passenger's wheelchair, and the required vehicle. Its main limitation is that the request for a price does not clearly ask what the charge includes, while several awkward expressions and the absence of paragraph breaks reduce polish. Prioritise an explicit question about inclusions and organise the requests into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose and most requirements are clearly addressed with relevant details about the trip, wheelchair user, and vehicle features.
Ask explicitly what the quoted price includes, such as insurance, fuel, mileage, or additional fees.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a generally logical sequence, but the single dense paragraph and occasional abrupt linking weaken readability.
Divide the letter into short paragraphs for the trip context, vehicle requirements, and price enquiry.
Lexical Resource
The letter demonstrates a reasonably varied formal vocabulary, though several collocations such as "AC drive" and "concession from your side" are unnatural.
Use more precise hire-related phrases such as "air-conditioned vehicle," "discount," and "quotation."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of sentence structures conveys the message clearly, despite recurring article, preposition, and phrasing errors and a closing fragment.
Review complex sentences for complete clauses and accurate patterns, especially "comprising" without "of" and conditional requests.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going on holiday and you would like to hire a car. One of your parties is in a wheelchair. Write a letter to a car hire company. In your letter:
- explain the reason you need the car
- describe the type of car you need
- ask what the price is and what it includes
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.