Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor?
Sample Response
There has been a dramatic increase in poverty in some developing and underdeveloped countries over the last few years. This has affected large numbers of people and hiked up their woes. Illiteracy, unemployment, inflation and unstable economic conditions are few factors that have contributed immensely to poverty. However, people’s suffering could be mitigated by providing them health, education and job opportunities.
It is often seen that people are reluctant to send their children to educational institutions in poor countries. These institutions could help them in educating and changing their destiny. Despite its benefits, people would like to indulge their children in some paid work, which could not help significantly in altering their present conditions. Furthermore, due to uncertain circumstances of the country, there is a price hike of various basics items that are mandatory for daily life. Exorbitant prices of others goods and transportation also badly affected people financial matters. The government can play a pivotal role to eradicate poverty from society. There should be attempts by the government to provide vocational training to poor people. That will enable them to find a good job based on their skills. Moreover, there should be free education for poor peoples; these people should be awarded a scholarship for higher studies based on their lofty performances. To sum up, I would like to say that government should take preemptive measures to reduce poverty by giving them professional training and educational facilities. The state could also support financially to poor families if there is no one to provide basic amenities of life to them. It is also government duty to ensure that hapless people should not be deprived off from basic life necessities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural hardship phrase Original: hiked up their woes Suggested revision: worsened their hardship Why it matters: The original expression is informal and does not collocate naturally with people's suffering.
- 2. Add quantity article Original: are few factors Suggested revision: are a few factors Why it matters: The countable phrase 'a few factors' requires the article 'a'.
- 3. Correct provide pattern Original: providing them health, education and job opportunities Suggested revision: providing them with health care, education and job opportunities Why it matters: The verb pattern is 'provide someone with something', and 'health care' names the intended service.
- 4. Clarify reference Original: Despite its benefits Suggested revision: Despite the benefits of education Why it matters: The explicit noun removes the unclear reference of the singular pronoun 'its'.
- 5. Use clear parental subject Original: people would like to indulge Suggested revision: some parents choose to involve Why it matters: The revision identifies the decision-makers and uses a verb appropriate to assigning children work.
- 6. Use concise work phrase Original: their children in some paid work Suggested revision: their children in paid work Why it matters: 'Paid work' is used generally here and does not need 'some'.
- 7. Use logical present form Original: which could not help significantly Suggested revision: which does not significantly help Why it matters: The present tense matches the general claim and places the adverb naturally.
- 8. Use natural circumstance phrase Original: present conditions Suggested revision: current circumstances Why it matters: The revision avoids the vague collocation 'conditions' for a family's socioeconomic situation.
- 9. Specify economic uncertainty Original: uncertain circumstances of the country Suggested revision: the country's economic uncertainty Why it matters: The revision identifies the type of uncertainty relevant to rising prices.
- 10. Use plural price phrase Original: a price hike of Suggested revision: increases in the prices of Why it matters: The replacement forms the natural construction before a list of goods.
- 11. Correct adjective form Original: basics Suggested revision: basic Why it matters: The adjective before 'items' is 'basic', not the plural noun 'basics'.
- 12. Use necessity collocation Original: mandatory Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: Everyday goods are described as 'essential' rather than 'mandatory'.
Suggested Rewrites
- hiked up their woes worsened their hardship
- are few factors are a few factors
- providing them health, education and job opportunities providing them with health care, education and job opportunities
- Despite its benefits Despite the benefits of education
- people would like to indulge some parents choose to involve
- their children in some paid work their children in paid work
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies several plausible causes of poverty and offers practical measures such as vocational training, free education, scholarships, and direct support. Its main limitation is uneven development and organisation: causes and solutions are compressed into one long paragraph, and some points are listed or repeated rather than explained. The highest-priority improvement is to separate causes from solutions and develop each main idea with a precise cause-and-effect explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant causes and practical solutions, but several points are listed briefly and the discussion becomes repetitive.
Choose two principal causes and two corresponding solutions, then explain how each one creates or reduces poverty.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a discernible progression from causes to government action, but the oversized body paragraph combines too many functions and weakens clarity.
Use separate body paragraphs for causes and solutions, each beginning with a clear controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
There is an adequate range of topic vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations and incorrect word forms reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace phrases such as 'hiked up their woes', 'basic items', and 'lofty performances' with simpler, more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex structures convey the main ideas, although recurring errors with articles, plurals, possessives, and prepositions are noticeable throughout.
Proofread noun phrases and prepositions, especially forms such as 'poor people', 'people's finances', and 'deprived of basic necessities'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.