Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor?
Sample Response
It is undeniable that every nation faces the poverty problem at some point in its history and they all have their own specific ways in addressing the issue. Poverty is a pressing issue in many parts of the world and effective steps are quite important to solve this problem. The following essay will discuss some of the reasons that lie beneath the issue and some of the solutions to resolve it. For a number of reasons, poverty has become an issue in many countries in the world. Firstly, some countries have a large population of poor people due to the poor performance of the governments. For example, under the dictatorial presidentship, many people are facing starvation due to the fact they have a greedy leader who concentrates more on the personal gains than people's betterment. Secondly, certain countries are facing poverty problem due to the unfavourable geographical areas. For instance, certain countries in Africa are facing starvation problem due to the drought issue. Thirdly, some nations have poverty-stricken people in their area because many of these people are lazy and not interesting in working. Some people in developed countries are given allowance from the governments, and they misuse the fund. Instead of using the money to buy basic needs and searching for jobs, many of them just buy drugs and get drunk. This causes destitution for many people and they cannot come above the poverty line. Lack of natural resources, poor education and lack of trade facility are three major reasons many Asian countries are still poor. There are several things that United Nations and governments could do to resolve the poverty problem globally. One of them is that United Nations should give more attention to countries where political instability is the main reason people starve every day. The UN must make intense diplomatic negotiation to reunite people and make them into a free democratic country. As for countries that have unfavourable landscape, the UN could cooperate with local governments in building dams and other facilities. With the existence of UN provided facilities, it is hoped that many countries could manage their irrigation, natural resources and manpower to improve their condition. Lastly, for people who are idle and become alcoholic, the allowance for them should be stopped. Instead of giving them the money, it could be allocated for treating their addiction and for creating job opportunities for them. In conclusion, many countries have poverty issue, as they have corrupted government, no natural resources, or adverse geographical condition. There are several things that the UN and governments could do to resolve the issue, but the most important one is to change the political condition and help them utilise their own resources.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: faces the poverty problem Suggested revision: faces poverty Why it matters: Poverty already names the problem, so the extra noun is redundant.
- 2. Match singular subject Original: and they all have their own Suggested revision: and each has its own Why it matters: Each correctly refers back to every nation with singular agreement.
- 3. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: of Why it matters: Way takes of before a gerund in this construction.
- 4. Strengthen solution phrasing Original: effective steps are quite important to solve Suggested revision: effective measures are essential to solving Why it matters: The replacement uses a natural formal collocation for addressing a serious problem.
- 5. Use concise cause phrase Original: reasons that lie beneath the issue Suggested revision: underlying causes of the issue Why it matters: Underlying causes expresses the same idea more directly and naturally.
- 6. Use standard political term Original: under the dictatorial presidentship Suggested revision: under a dictatorship Why it matters: Dictatorship is the standard noun for this form of government.
- 7. Use simple present Original: many people are facing starvation Suggested revision: many people face starvation Why it matters: The simple present is more appropriate for the general condition being described.
- 8. Use direct cause marker Original: due to the fact they have Suggested revision: because they have Why it matters: Because expresses the causal link more directly and concisely.
- 9. Correct the comparison Original: concentrates more on the personal gains than people's betterment Suggested revision: focuses more on personal gain than on people's welfare Why it matters: The replacement uses natural collocations and parallel prepositions in the comparison.
- 10. Fix article and tense Original: are facing poverty problem Suggested revision: face poverty Why it matters: The general statement needs the simple present, and poverty requires no article here.
- 11. Choose accurate noun Original: areas Suggested revision: conditions Why it matters: Conditions refers to the environmental circumstances that contribute to poverty.
- 12. Use natural construction Original: are facing starvation problem Suggested revision: face starvation Why it matters: The simple present and direct object express this general problem naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- faces the poverty problem faces poverty
- and they all have their own and each has its own
- in of
- effective steps are quite important to solve effective measures are essential to solving
- reasons that lie beneath the issue underlying causes of the issue
- under the dictatorial presidentship under a dictatorship
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response addresses both questions thoroughly, offering a broad range of causes and matching interventions involving governments and the United Nations. Its strongest feature is the sustained explanation of political, geographical, educational, and behavioural factors, although some claims are overgeneralised and the single-block layout plus recurring language errors reduce clarity. The highest priority is to organise causes and solutions into focused paragraphs and express sensitive claims with precise, evidence-based language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and remedies are developed at length with relevant explanations and examples, though some generalisations about poor people are insufficiently qualified.
Replace broad claims about laziness and addiction with carefully framed structural causes and explain how each proposed measure addresses them.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has clear overall movement from causes to solutions and a consistent numbered sequence, but the absence of paragraph breaks reduces readability.
Separate political, geographical, and individual causes, then place their corresponding solutions in clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of topic-specific vocabulary supports detailed discussion, but recurring inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as address poverty, authoritarian rule, personal gain, interested in working, and rise above the poverty line.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses varied sentence forms and generally communicates clearly, although errors in articles, agreement, complements, and noun forms recur.
Check countable nouns and verb complements, especially a poverty problem, interested in working, facilities provided by the UN, and corrupt governments.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Every country has poor people and every country has different ways of dealing with the poor. What are some of the reasons for poverty? What can we do to help the poor?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.