All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. How far do you agree with this statement?
Sample Response
There are many cultures and traditions in this world and people believe and respect them from them from various points of views. While considering about a culture in a country, we cannot even forget its museums and art galleries as it plays a great role in preserving the culture. Moreover, they are the best method of displaying the history and values to the youth in a country. Therefore most probably this is a better idea of giving free entrance to them for people. Firstly, museum and art galleries are doing a great job in protecting the value of the history of a culture. Furthermore, they have all the relevant things such as artefact, statues etc. which are important to be kept with it for saving. As an example, in many countries, there is even one museum or art gallery which keep valuable historical things in it which otherwise might have been lost.
Secondly, displaying of the things which give memorable and valuable feeling to people is also an important role of museums and art galleries. Moreover, people can visit there and see for their past lives of ancestors and how the society has developed up to now. For instance, we can see most of the displays illustrates the ancient stories. To sum up, by looking at the major roles of museums and art galleries, which are preserving and displaying of historical values to the future world, I totally agree for giving the free visits to everyone as it helps to protect the heritage of a countries society.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct verb pattern Original: While considering about Suggested revision: When considering Why it matters: Consider takes a direct object and does not require about.
- 2. Use natural emphasis Original: we cannot even forget Suggested revision: we should not overlook Why it matters: Should not overlook expresses the importance of museums more naturally.
- 3. Fix pronoun agreement Original: as it plays Suggested revision: as they play Why it matters: The plural subject museums and art galleries requires the plural pronoun and verb.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: the best method of displaying Suggested revision: an effective way to display Why it matters: Way to display is the natural construction, while best method overstates the claim.
- 5. Clarify the audience Original: history and values to the youth Suggested revision: history and values to young people Why it matters: Young people is more natural than the youth for this general audience.
- 6. Use plural noun Original: museum Suggested revision: museums Why it matters: The general reference requires both coordinated nouns to be plural.
- 7. Use formal wording Original: are doing a great job Suggested revision: play an important role Why it matters: The revision is more precise and appropriately formal for an academic essay.
- 8. Clarify preservation role Original: protecting the value of the history of a culture Suggested revision: preserving a culture's historical heritage Why it matters: The revision removes the unclear phrase value of the history and states the intended role directly.
- 9. Fix list forms Original: artefact, statues etc. Suggested revision: artefacts, statues, and other historical objects Why it matters: The plural nouns and complete list form make the examples grammatical and clear.
- 10. Express preservation clearly Original: which are important to be kept with it for saving Suggested revision: that need to be preserved Why it matters: The shorter relative clause states the preservation need without unclear pronouns.
- 11. Use standard example marker Original: As an example Suggested revision: For example Why it matters: For example is the conventional connector for introducing an illustration.
- 12. Use logical quantity phrase Original: there is even one museum or art gallery Suggested revision: there is at least one museum or art gallery Why it matters: At least one expresses the intended minimum quantity more clearly than even one.
Suggested Rewrites
- While considering about When considering
- we cannot even forget we should not overlook
- as it plays as they play
- the best method of displaying an effective way to display
- history and values to the youth history and values to young people
- museum museums
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is its consistent agreement and relevant recognition that museums preserve artefacts and make cultural history visible to the public. Its main limitation is that these points explain why museums matter but barely establish why admission must be free; development and examples remain vague and repetitive. The highest-priority improvement is to show how charges restrict access and how free entry would produce a specific cultural or educational benefit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant cultural functions are identified, but the central case for free admission is only partially developed.
Explain the causal link between entrance fees, public access, and cultural education, supported by one concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a recognisable introduction, two main points, and a conclusion, but ideas are repetitive and cohesive markers are used mechanically.
Give each body paragraph one distinct reason for free entry and develop it from claim to explanation and example.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient to express the basic view, but repetition and frequent inaccurate collocations restrict clarity and flexibility.
Use precise phrases such as "cultural heritage," "public access," "admission fees," "preserve artefacts," and "educational value."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, prepositions, and clause structure occur throughout and sometimes strain meaning.
Build shorter accurate sentences first, checking subject-verb agreement and possessives such as "a country's culture" and "museums and galleries play."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. How far do you agree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.