Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Museums and art galleries help visitors better understand the role of history, showcase important artworks, and preserve significant items. But many people opine that the collection should include only the artefacts and artworks of the host country. I disagree with this opinion since art is a medium to express thoughts and ideas beyond boundaries, and the history of nations is interconnected.
Art is an important medium of free expression, and history extends beyond the border. So the collection of a museum should not be confined to geographical boundaries. For example, "Mona Lisa" is a legendary artwork by Leonardo Da Vinci who was an Italian artist in the 15th century. Despite being Italian, Da Vinci is an iconic genius for the whole world. Mona Lisa is now preserved at the Louvre Museum in France, and having this artwork and many other famous international paintings and sculptures, France can only boast of its fine collection that showcases masterpieces, great artworks and world history to the global audience.
Moreover, history is not confined within boundaries, and if this was the case, we would have taught our students only our national history. The fate of nations was interconnected throughout history and it still is. So when we want to teach our children about our history, we must teach them about international events. Since one of the primary objectives of museums is to teach people about history, they must have artworks and collections from the international arena.
Finally, when we display artefacts and works from foreign countries, we are connecting nations all over the world. Each culture has something new to teach and the cultural richness of a nation depends on how they accept a new culture. From this perspective, having museums that comprise collections only from the host country is a bad idea.
To conclude, museums and art galleries that have international artefacts and artworks besides having national collections are far rich and practical in exchanging cultural aspects and showcasing history.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural reporting verb Original: opine Suggested revision: argue Why it matters: Argue is a more natural reporting verb for presenting this contested position.
- 2. Match the plural institutions Original: the collection should include Suggested revision: their collections should include Why it matters: The plural possessive and noun agree with museums and art galleries.
- 3. Use the gerund pattern Original: medium to express Suggested revision: medium for expressing Why it matters: Medium for expressing is the natural noun-and-preposition construction.
- 4. Use a clearer boundary phrase Original: beyond boundaries Suggested revision: across national boundaries Why it matters: The replacement specifies the type of boundaries relevant to international art.
- 5. Use general plural borders Original: beyond the border Suggested revision: beyond borders Why it matters: The plural without an article expresses national borders in general.
- 6. Use a formal consequence link Original: So the collection of a museum Suggested revision: Therefore, a museum's collection Why it matters: Therefore states the logical consequence more formally and concisely.
- 7. Punctuate the nonrestrictive clause Original: Da Vinci who Suggested revision: Da Vinci, who Why it matters: A comma is required before the supplementary information about Da Vinci.
- 8. Use natural global wording Original: iconic genius for the whole world Suggested revision: iconic figure worldwide Why it matters: The replacement expresses his international recognition in a natural collocation.
- 9. Use the hypothetical subjunctive Original: was Suggested revision: were Why it matters: Were is appropriate for this unreal hypothetical condition.
- 10. Use present hypothetical result Original: would have taught our students Suggested revision: would teach our students Why it matters: The sentence describes a present hypothetical policy rather than a completed past action.
- 11. Describe shared histories precisely Original: fate of nations was interconnected Suggested revision: histories of nations have been interconnected Why it matters: Histories conveys the continuing relationship between national pasts more precisely than fate.
- 12. Use concrete international wording Original: from the international arena Suggested revision: from other countries Why it matters: The replacement directly names the source of the international collections.
Suggested Rewrites
- opine argue
- the collection should include their collections should include
- medium to express medium for expressing
- beyond boundaries across national boundaries
- beyond the border beyond borders
- So the collection of a museum Therefore, a museum's collection
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay presents a firm disagreement and develops it through three relevant lines of reasoning: art transcends borders, histories are interconnected and international displays connect cultures. The strongest support is the Louvre example, while the main limitation is repetition between the first two arguments and some awkward or overgeneral phrasing. Distinguish the educational and cultural-exchange points more sharply, then edit the conclusion for natural comparative wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is consistently supported with relevant reasons and a specific museum example, though some ideas overlap rather than extending the argument.
Develop a distinct practical benefit of international collections, such as comparative learning or access for visitors unable to travel.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraph sequence is logical and each section has a clear purpose, but repeated claims about borderless art and history reduce progression slightly.
Give each body paragraph one distinct focus and avoid restating the same boundaries argument in adjacent sections.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad topic-specific range, but choices such as "opine," "international arena" and "far rich and practical" sound unnatural.
Prefer direct phrasing such as "argue," "international collections" and "richer and more effective for cultural exchange."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are generally accurate and meaning is consistently clear, with occasional conditional, pronoun and comparative-form errors.
Use "if this were the case," refer to a nation as "it," and write "far richer" rather than "far rich."
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.