Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Sample Response
In recent years, there is a remarkable trend for young people to have a gap year before pursuing the higher level of education in this case entering university education. Some assert that university education is a study-level which tends to provide specialist knowledge for students. However, I personally believe that participating in a workplace or visiting other parts of countries will bring some benefits when they come to a university. Therefore, this essay will look into some reasons with some considerations.
The first reason is that people have already preparations and knowledge about their study. They already gain some experiences, thus it enables them to cope with some problems faced at the university level. Moreover, for those who travel first will be more ready to pursue their study because they already throw out their burden even anxiety. They have a lot of energy since they have just come back from a beautiful journey.
Another reason is that they are already mature enough to begin their study. They have set clear objective future planning about their life. As a consequent, they will more concern to reach their goal and try to do something related to their purposes. Moreover, by involving in workplace and travelling, they develop to be an independent person. Since they learn to solve problems on their own, thus they are more respected toward this life.
It is true that people will readapt about the education condition since they spend much time in workplace or travelling. However, it is not a big problem for them as long as they tend to cope with it. They will be helped by their classmates, communities, even their own. They just need a short time to make it familiar.
To sum up, to survive in higher education level, people need background knowledge of their study. What they already obtain during that time will develop their character which poses a great help toward their study even society. As a result, it is true that experience is the best teacher for students.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use present perfect Original: there is a remarkable trend Suggested revision: there has been a notable trend Why it matters: The present perfect fits a trend continuing from recent years to the present.
- 2. Use take a gap year Original: have Suggested revision: take Why it matters: The standard collocation is "take a gap year."
- 3. Use higher education Original: the higher level of education Suggested revision: higher education Why it matters: The established uncountable term does not need an article or "level of."
- 4. Clarify specific meaning Original: in this case entering Suggested revision: specifically to enter Why it matters: This clearly links the gap year to the later start of university.
- 5. Fix recipient phrase Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: The verb "provide" takes "to" before the recipient in this structure.
- 6. Use workplace experience Original: participating in a workplace Suggested revision: gaining workplace experience Why it matters: This naturally describes working during a gap year.
- 7. Clarify travel Original: other parts of countries Suggested revision: other countries Why it matters: The phrase now clearly refers to international travel.
- 8. Use begin university Original: when they come to a university Suggested revision: when they begin university Why it matters: This is the natural expression for starting higher education.
- 9. State essay focus Original: look into some reasons with some considerations Suggested revision: examine the main reasons for this view Why it matters: The replacement is concise and gives the sentence a clear purpose.
- 10. Use prepared Original: have already preparations Suggested revision: are already prepared Why it matters: "Preparation" is not used as a plural count noun in this construction.
- 11. Use uncountable experience Original: experiences Suggested revision: experience Why it matters: Experience meaning practical knowledge is uncountable.
- 12. Fix result link Original: thus it enables them Suggested revision: which enables them Why it matters: The relative clause links the acquired experience directly to its benefit.
Suggested Rewrites
- there is a remarkable trend there has been a notable trend
- have take
- the higher level of education higher education
- in this case entering specifically to enter
- for to
- participating in a workplace gaining workplace experience
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay maintains a clear agreement position and organises relevant benefits around preparedness, maturity, and independence, while also acknowledging readjustment after the gap year. Its main weakness is that the supporting explanations remain vague or implausible and frequent language errors obscure several claims; prioritise developing each benefit through a concrete work-or-travel example and rewriting sentences in direct, grammatically complete English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and several relevant benefits are identified, but the ideas are only partly developed and some explanations are unconvincing.
Develop one work example and one travel example that show exactly how acquired skills improve later university study.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and overall progression are clear, though linking is sometimes mechanical and several references or logical connections are difficult to follow.
Give each body paragraph one controlling idea and link cause to result directly without combining markers such as Since and thus.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonable range of education and personal-development vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate word choices reduce precision.
Replace phrases such as already preparations, throw out their burden, clear objective future planning, and respected toward this life with simpler accurate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but frequent errors in articles, verb forms, agreement, and clause construction weaken clarity.
Build complete subject–verb clauses and proofread verb patterns, using forms such as gain experience, become independent, and readjust to education.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent you agree or disagree with the statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.