Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
Nobody can say with confidence that children should be taught at home or at any children's institutions. There are many different children and every one demand of education suitable only for him.
But for most of children the best way of learning the life is being in the children's institutions. Nobody would argue that contacts between children of the same age are very important for bringing your child up. Such a contact is very important for playing, entertaining and learning living with other people. The harmonious living with other people, to my mind, is the first task for any man. Lack of this harmony sets problems and troubles.
The children need space to run and make noise, to jump and cry. Do you or your neighbours allow these actions for your child? If you live in town, it is difficult to find a safe place to play. Kindergartens give such a possibility. They give space, a lot of toys and constructions for physical exercises. So, if you have bad living conditions, the kindergarten is the best way for you. But if you have a large family with many children and enough space, you may keep your child at home. You should be sure that the child feels, dressed and comfortable. His brothers and sisters give him necessary contacts. It's noticed long ago that children in big families are much more easy-tempered and calm. They are located in more harmonic world than others.
Sometimes differences in age put troubles in contacts between children in large families. Then it is better for child to be sent to the kindergarten (school). But if quarrels don't last for a long time, everything is all right. In general, quarrels develop ability to cooperate with people. They develop a personal initiative and force setting the balance. In such a way the child gets lessons of life. Addly, the quarrels often take place in kindergartens and schools and we shouldn't fear it.
Side by side with quarrels parents often are afraid of colds which happen in kindergartens more frequently. Parents prefer keeping the child at home. But for a healthy child odd cold (if illness occurs, it goes its normal course) can't make big harm to the child. And if the child is adaptable to the conditions of public places earlier it would be better for him in future.
In general, I am a follower of the theory of keeping children in adapted places such as good kindergartens. But keeping children in such a place can't replace family and home. Only together they make harmonic and beautiful union.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural institution phrase Original: at any children's institutions Suggested revision: in any educational institution Why it matters: Use the conventional preposition and a natural singular generic noun.
- 2. Remove incorrect preposition Original: for most of children Suggested revision: for most children Why it matters: Most takes a noun directly when referring to children in general.
- 3. Correct fixed expression Original: the Suggested revision: about Why it matters: English uses learn about life rather than learn the life in this meaning.
- 4. Use precise verb Original: being in the children's institutions Suggested revision: attending educational institutions Why it matters: Attend is the natural verb for participation in schools or similar institutions.
- 5. Use uncountable contact Original: contacts Suggested revision: contact Why it matters: Contact is normally uncountable when it means social interaction.
- 6. Maintain formal register Original: bringing your child up Suggested revision: children's development Why it matters: This impersonal noun phrase fits the essay's formal general discussion better.
- 7. Use gerund phrase Original: The harmonious living Suggested revision: Living harmoniously Why it matters: A gerund with an adverb forms the required subject naturally.
- 8. Use inclusive wording Original: first task for any man Suggested revision: primary goal for everyone Why it matters: This wording is more natural and inclusive in a general claim.
- 9. Correct verb collocation Original: sets problems and troubles Suggested revision: causes problems and difficulties Why it matters: Problems are caused rather than set in this context.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: give such a possibility Suggested revision: provide this opportunity Why it matters: Provide an opportunity is the standard collocation for making something possible.
- 11. Choose precise noun Original: constructions for physical exercises Suggested revision: equipment for physical exercise Why it matters: Equipment accurately names the facilities used for physical activity.
- 12. Specify the limitation Original: bad living conditions Suggested revision: limited living space Why it matters: This phrase precisely matches the paragraph's concern about space for play.
Suggested Rewrites
- at any children's institutions in any educational institution
- for most of children for most children
- the about
- being in the children's institutions attending educational institutions
- contacts contact
- bringing your child up children's development
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response offers a sustained discussion with several relevant observations about social contact, play space, sibling relationships, and illness. Its main limitation is that it largely treats the issue as a choice between home and kindergarten, so it only partially addresses parental home education and its position remains imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to frame a direct answer to the stated proposition and develop balanced, education-focused advantages and disadvantages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response discusses several benefits and drawbacks and reaches a preference, but it largely substitutes kindergarten attendance for the broader issue of parental home education.
State a direct position on home education and develop advantages and disadvantages that focus on learning as well as childcare and socialisation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing and the broad movement from social contact to practical conditions and health are discernible, although progression is sometimes loose and repetitive.
Give each paragraph one clearly stated education-related claim and connect its supporting details directly to that claim.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss family, social, and practical issues, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices reduce precision.
Replace awkward combinations such as references to children being located in a harmonic world with natural, context-appropriate collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mixture of simple and more complex sentences communicates the main message, but frequent errors in articles, agreement, word forms, and sentence construction remain noticeable.
Prioritise accurate article use and subject-verb agreement, then check that every complex sentence has a complete and natural clause structure.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.