Homeschooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in the modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Education is the backbone of a nation and the true development of a nation relies on the way our children are being educated. Though homeschooling was quite a remarkable idea in the past, this, is in my opinion, is no longer applicable and suitable in the modern society.
First of all, the concept of ‘self-educated’ is not acceptable in any job sector and without the certification from college or university level, someone can’t even apply for a post. Thus homeschooling will only increase the unemployment in the society while it was an excellent way of educating people in the last century. Moreover, parents these days send their children to the daycare centre from the very early stage and thus they have no time for homeschooling in a sense.
Second, the education system in the past was not as formal as it is today. Thus having home tutors and mentors at home by rich people to educate their children was probably the best arrangement. On the contrary, poor could not afford tutors and thus engaged their children in some sort of works from their childhood. The picture has changed and the modern government system allows poor and rich students alike to study in a school which is subsidised by government funds in many cases.
Finally, homeschooling is no longer the norm in education these days. We have formal educational institutes that employ best teachers for every subject and follow a national and international course curriculum. Without attending formal educational institutes, the students would not be treated as educated in the country, job sector, and even in the society.
In conclusion, parents should help their children on their studies at home so that they can excel in school. The school is the main standard of education these days while homeschooling has become an obsolete idea while it has been a successful system in the pre-modern era.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use gerund construction Original: concept of ‘self-educated’ Suggested revision: concept of being self-educated Why it matters: The noun 'concept' needs a grammatical gerund phrase after 'of'.
- 2. Use employment collocation Original: not acceptable in any job sector Suggested revision: not accepted in any employment sector Why it matters: 'Employment sector' and the passive 'accepted' fit the claim more naturally.
- 3. Fix certification phrase Original: certification from college or university level Suggested revision: certification from a college or university Why it matters: The countable institutions need articles, and 'level' is unnecessary.
- 4. Add transition comma Original: Thus homeschooling Suggested revision: Thus, homeschooling Why it matters: A sentence-opening conjunctive adverb should be followed by a comma.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: the unemployment Suggested revision: unemployment Why it matters: 'Unemployment' is an uncountable general concept here and does not take 'the'.
- 6. Use general plural form Original: the daycare centre Suggested revision: daycare centres Why it matters: The essay refers generally to such institutions rather than one specific centre.
- 7. Use natural age phrase Original: from the very early stage Suggested revision: from a very early age Why it matters: 'From a very early age' is the standard expression for childhood timing.
- 8. Remove vague qualifier Original: in a sense Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The phrase weakens the claim without clarifying its meaning.
- 9. Use contrast transition Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence contrasts wealthy and poor families rather than contradicting the previous statement.
- 10. Use complete group noun Original: poor could not Suggested revision: poorer families could not Why it matters: The adjective 'poor' needs a noun or the article 'the' when referring to a group.
- 11. Fix uncountable noun Original: some sort of works Suggested revision: some form of work Why it matters: 'Work' is uncountable in this context.
- 12. Remove possessive determiner Original: from their childhood Suggested revision: from childhood Why it matters: The general life stage 'childhood' does not need a possessive determiner here.
Suggested Rewrites
- concept of ‘self-educated’ concept of being self-educated
- not acceptable in any job sector not accepted in any employment sector
- certification from college or university level certification from a college or university
- Thus homeschooling Thus, homeschooling
- the unemployment unemployment
- the daycare centre daycare centres
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay maintains a clear position and follows a logical sequence of reasons, including employability, historical access, and modern institutions. Its main limitation is that several claims overgeneralise or confuse homeschooling with self-education, especially the assumption that homeschooled learners cannot obtain qualifications, while frequent awkward language reduces authority. Prioritise using accurate, well-supported distinctions between home education and formal schooling.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response presents a consistent position and several relevant reasons, but some support relies on questionable generalisations about qualifications and employment.
Acknowledge that homeschooling can follow recognised curricula, then argue specifically why schools offer stronger modern benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and sequencing create logical progression, although repeated connectors and the conclusion's repeated “while” are mechanical.
Use more varied logical relationships and ensure each paragraph moves from a precise claim to evidence and evaluation.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for education, employment, and social access, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms reduce precision.
Use natural phrases such as “formal qualifications,” “increased unemployment,” “schoolwork,” and “government-funded schools.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses a mix of sentence forms, but article, preposition, punctuation, agreement, and clause errors occur noticeably.
Edit sentence boundaries and noun phrases carefully, beginning with the duplicated verb and intrusive commas in the thesis statement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Homeschooling belongs to the past and is unacceptable in the modern society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.