Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Sample Response
Nobody can say with a full confidence whether children should be taught at home or at any children's institutions. There are many different children and everyone demand of education suitable only for him. But for most of the children, the best way of learning the life is being in the children's institutions. Nobody would argue that contacts between children of the same age are very important for bringing your child up. Such a contact is very important for playing, entertaining and learning to live with other people. The harmonious living with other people, to my mind, is the first task for any man. Lack of this harmony sets problems and troubles. The children need space to run and make noise, to jump and cry. Do you or your neighbours allow these actions for your child? If you live in town, it is difficult to find a safe place to play. Kindergartens give such a possibility. They give space, a lot of toys and constructions for physical exercises. So, if you have bad living conditions, the kindergarten is the best way for you. But if you have a large family with many children and enough space, you may keep your child at home. You should be sure that the child feels, dressed and comfortable. His brothers and sisters give him necessary contacts. It's noticed long ago that children in big families are much more easy-tempered and calm. They are located in the more harmonic world than others. Sometimes differences in age put troubles in contacts between children in large families. Then it is better for the children to be sent to the kindergarten (school). But if quarrels don't last for a long time, everything is all right. In general, quarrels develop an ability to cooperate with people. They develop a personal initiative and force setting the balance. In such a way the child gets lessons of life. Oddly, the quarrels often take place in kindergartens and schools and we shouldn't fear it. Side by side with quarrels parents often are afraid of colds which happen in kindergartens more frequently. Parents prefer keeping the child at home. But for a healthy child odd cold (if illness occurs, it goes its normal course) can't make big harm to the child. And if the child is adaptable to the conditions of public places earlier it would be better for him in future. In general, I am a follower of the theory of keeping children in adapted places such as good kindergartens. But keeping children in such a place can't replace family and home. Only together they make the harmonic and beautiful union.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect article Original: with a full confidence Suggested revision: with full confidence Why it matters: The uncountable noun "confidence" does not take an article in this expression.
- 2. Clarify institution type Original: any children's institutions Suggested revision: institutions for children Why it matters: The possessive form is unnatural for referring generally to schools or kindergartens.
- 3. Use general plural Original: most of the children Suggested revision: most children Why it matters: The article is unnecessary because the sentence refers to children in general.
- 4. Fix noun phrase Original: the Suggested revision: about Why it matters: The verb needs "about" when it means gaining an understanding of life.
- 5. Use natural structure Original: being in the children's institutions Suggested revision: attending institutions for children Why it matters: The revision uses the appropriate verb for receiving education at an institution.
- 6. Correct intended meaning Original: Nobody would argue Suggested revision: Few would dispute Why it matters: The original wording means nobody would make the claim, whereas the context means few people would disagree with it.
- 7. Use uncountable noun Original: contacts Suggested revision: contact Why it matters: Here, "contact" refers generally to social interaction and is uncountable.
- 8. Avoid pronoun shift Original: bringing your child up Suggested revision: children's development Why it matters: The replacement maintains the paragraph's general third-person reference instead of switching to "your."
- 9. Use parallel activities Original: entertaining Suggested revision: socialising Why it matters: "Entertaining" normally requires an object and does not express peer interaction clearly here.
- 10. Fix gerund phrase Original: The harmonious living Suggested revision: Living harmoniously Why it matters: The adverb correctly modifies the gerund "living" without an unnecessary article.
- 11. Fix verb collocation Original: sets problems and troubles Suggested revision: causes problems Why it matters: Problems are caused rather than "set," and "problems and troubles" is redundant.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: give such a possibility Suggested revision: provide such an opportunity Why it matters: An institution provides an opportunity; it does not normally "give a possibility."
Suggested Rewrites
- with a full confidence with full confidence
- any children's institutions institutions for children
- most of the children most children
- the about
- being in the children's institutions attending institutions for children
- Nobody would argue Few would dispute
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response explores several relevant considerations, especially social contact, space, siblings, and exposure to illness, and ultimately favours combining institutional education with family life. Its main limitation is a long, unstructured and sometimes tangential discussion whose position on the absolute claim remains imprecise, compounded by frequent unnatural language. Prioritise a direct thesis, balanced advantage-disadvantage paragraphs, and clearer sentences built around the actual home-education decision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Relevant advantages and disadvantages are discussed, but the focus shifts between home education, kindergarten, living conditions, quarrels, and colds without fully resolving the stated claim.
State a direct degree of agreement and organise the response around the strongest educational and social advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Individual ideas can be followed, but the single paragraph, repeated pivots, and loosely connected examples create uneven progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph for home education, one for institutional education, and a concise conclusion that resolves the comparison.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to express the main ideas, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms make the discussion sound strained.
Replace phrases such as children's institutions, sets problems, put troubles, and odd cold with schools, causes problems, creates difficulties, and occasional cold.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but agreement, articles, clause structure, and comparative forms are frequently inaccurate.
Build shorter complete sentences and check subject-verb agreement, especially in everyone demands and children are more easy-going.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Children should never be educated at home by their parents. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.