Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
The issue is about some individuals who prefer human activities and way of life in warm weather while others opine to living in cold weather. This essay seeks to x-ray both sides of the argument. In my opinion, a hot climate is preferable. I hold this view because people are more mentally and physically alert, and productivity is very high during the previous season.
First, some people like activities in hot weather because of varieties of outdoor activities that are widely enjoyed during the period. Families and individuals plan a summer vacation to have a good time together in the swimming pool or even on the beach. This creates love and bond between family members and among friends or even colleagues at work. Visit beach in Lagos Nigeria increases during summer as family and friends enjoy the scenery and friendly atmosphere during this period according to punch newspapers dated 24th November 2021. In addition, exposure to sunlight can boost vitamin D in the body, which is an essential nutrient for the bone and immune system. Warmer weather is scientifically proven to strengthen the heart, lower blood pressure and increase the production of serotonin. Therefore people choose to have fun and partake in various undertakings during summertime.
On the other hand, people who love winter are perceived to be introverted as cold weather is used as an excuse to stay home. Many individuals are in Favour of cold temperatures because they can perform the task better when the temperature is cooler. In particular, people can concentrate better on their tasks in a place with a comfortable working environment. Furthermore, the winter months do not require people to deal with how presentable and stylish they are since their bodies would be covered with thick clothing. Hence, there is potential to boost people’s self-esteem because there is no pressure of having an attractive body.
In my opinion, summer is a great season because people tend to be more mentally and physically alert. In warm weather, people are more active and lively. In warm weather, people go out freely without the fear of being drenched. Unfortunately, the reverse is the case in winter. Interestingly, productivity is significantly higher during hot climates as people are very active and highly ready to work.
In conclusion, climatic changes can play a major role in how people think, feel and behave. Human individuals preferences can be influenced by a wide variety of factors, including psychological experiences. If anyone grew up enjoying and gets excited to play in the snow during snowy days, more likely, that the person will also enjoy winter as an adult.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise phrasing Original: issue is about Suggested revision: issue concerns Why it matters: This verb expresses the essay topic more directly and naturally.
- 2. Match the task wording Original: human activities and way of life Suggested revision: activities and lifestyles Why it matters: The original phrase is awkward and does not clearly express the two preferences.
- 3. Correct verb pattern Original: opine to living Suggested revision: prefer living Why it matters: The verb construction in the original phrase is ungrammatical.
- 4. Use academic wording Original: x-ray Suggested revision: examine Why it matters: This verb is clearer and more conventional in an academic essay.
- 5. Fix unclear reference Original: during the previous season Suggested revision: during this season Why it matters: No earlier season has been identified, so the reference is unclear.
- 6. Correct quantity phrase Original: varieties of outdoor activities Suggested revision: a variety of outdoor activities Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'a variety of' when referring to a range of activities.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: creates love and bond Suggested revision: strengthens affection and bonds Why it matters: The original noun phrase is unnatural and also needs a plural noun.
- 8. Correct publication name Original: punch newspapers Suggested revision: the Punch newspaper Why it matters: A single named publication requires the definite article and singular form.
- 9. Use plural noun Original: bone Suggested revision: bones Why it matters: Bones are referenced generally here, so the plural form is required.
- 10. Clarify the result link Original: Therefore people choose Suggested revision: As a result, people choose Why it matters: This transition marks the result clearly and fits the sentence punctuation.
- 11. Avoid overgeneralisation Original: are perceived to be introverted Suggested revision: may prefer staying indoors Why it matters: This wording expresses the stated behaviour without assigning a personality type to everyone.
- 12. Fix capitalization Original: Favour Suggested revision: favour Why it matters: A common noun in the middle of a sentence should not be capitalized.
Suggested Rewrites
- issue is about issue concerns
- human activities and way of life activities and lifestyles
- opine to living prefer living
- x-ray examine
- during the previous season during this season
- varieties of outdoor activities a variety of outdoor activities
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's clearest strength is its coverage of both climate preferences through distinct, generally developed body paragraphs and an explicit preference for warmer weather. Its main limitation is uneven precision: several claims and word choices are awkward, while the conclusion drifts toward winter enjoyment and weakens the stated position; prioritise a fully consistent conclusion and more natural, accurately controlled language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed with relevant supporting ideas, and the writer's preference is clear for most of the response, although some claims are overgeneralised and the conclusion weakens the position.
End by directly reaffirming the preference for hot climates and synthesising the strongest reasons instead of introducing a new point about enjoying snow.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses through a clear introduction, separate discussions of each view, an opinion paragraph, and a conclusion, though repetition and the final shift reduce cohesion.
Link the opinion paragraph and conclusion more tightly to the preceding comparison while removing repeated sentence openings such as “In warm weather”.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range to discuss climate, health, social activity, and productivity, but recurrent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices reduce precision.
Replace expressions such as “opine to living”, “varieties of outdoor activities”, and “partake in various undertakings” with simpler, natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the argument clearly, but article, agreement, possessive, and sentence-formation errors recur throughout.
Proofread each sentence for articles and subject-verb agreement, particularly in phrases such as “Visit beach ... increases” and “Human individuals preferences”.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people prefer activities and lifestyles in hot climates while others prefer living in cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.