Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Natural catastrophes often devastate underprivileged nations, leaving them in desperate need of humanitarian aid. While some argue that wealthier nations have a moral responsibility to assist, others contend that such aid is not always beneficial. This essay disagrees with the notion that developed countries should bear this responsibility, as it can lead to dependency and mismanagement of resources.
One major concern with relying on foreign aid is the creation of long-term dependency. When developing nations receive continuous support from wealthier countries, they may become reliant on external assistance rather than developing their own disaster preparedness and response mechanisms. This discourages self-sufficiency and prevents governments from taking necessary measures to strengthen their resilience. For example, despite receiving billions in foreign aid after the 2010 earthquake, Haiti still struggles with poor infrastructure and disaster preparedness due to over-reliance on international assistance rather than internal reforms.
Another critical issue is the mismanagement and misuse of aid. Corruption in some developing nations means that funds and resources intended for relief efforts do not always reach those in need. Instead, they are sometimes diverted to personal or political interests, reducing the effectiveness of such support. For instance, reports have shown that a significant portion of international aid provided to some African nations during past droughts was misappropriated by government officials, leading to minimal impact on affected populations. This inefficiency raises concerns about the effectiveness of humanitarian relief from wealthy nations.
In conclusion, while the intention behind providing humanitarian relief is noble, it is not a sustainable solution. Encouraging self-reliance and ensuring that funds are managed effectively within affected countries should be the priority. Instead of direct aid, wealthier nations can focus on supporting long-term development projects that empower poorer nations to handle future disasters independently.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise country label Original: underprivileged nations Suggested revision: lower-income nations Why it matters: Lower-income describes countries' economic position more precisely than underprivileged.
- 2. Complete the formal phrase Original: moral responsibility to assist Suggested revision: moral responsibility to provide assistance Why it matters: Provide assistance is clearer and more formally complete when no direct object follows assist.
- 3. Refine responsibility collocation Original: bear Suggested revision: assume Why it matters: Assume this responsibility more precisely conveys taking on the proposed obligation.
- 4. Express risk accurately Original: creation Suggested revision: risk Why it matters: Risk reflects the essay's claim that dependency may result rather than that it is inevitable.
- 5. Use natural duration term Original: continuous Suggested revision: ongoing Why it matters: Ongoing is the more natural adjective for support provided over an extended period.
- 6. Add definite article Original: taking necessary measures Suggested revision: taking the necessary measures Why it matters: The definite article appropriately identifies the measures needed to build resilience.
- 7. Distinguish the two issues Original: misuse Suggested revision: diversion Why it matters: Diversion names the specific misuse described later and creates a clearer distinction.
- 8. Correct diversion collocation Original: diverted to personal or political interests Suggested revision: diverted to serve personal or political interests Why it matters: Resources can be diverted to serve interests, whereas diverted to interests is incomplete.
- 9. Use natural impact phrase Original: leading to minimal impact on affected populations Suggested revision: having little impact on affected populations Why it matters: Having little impact is a more natural expression of the limited outcome described.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: it is not a sustainable solution Suggested revision: such relief is not a sustainable solution Why it matters: Naming such relief makes the pronoun reference immediately clear.
- 11. Use precise disaster verb Original: handle future disasters Suggested revision: respond to future disasters Why it matters: Respond to is the more precise formal collocation for managing disaster events.
- 12. Avoid closing repetition Suggested revision: Use the final sentence to synthesize how diverted resources weaken relief outcomes, rather than repeating that the aid is ineffective. Why it matters: The paragraph already establishes reduced effectiveness, so a synthesising close would improve progression.
Suggested Rewrites
- underprivileged nations lower-income nations
- moral responsibility to assist moral responsibility to provide assistance
- bear assume
- creation risk
- continuous ongoing
- taking necessary measures taking the necessary measures
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay is fluent, logically organized, and expressed through precise, well-controlled language, with a clear position sustained throughout. Its main limitation is conceptual: much of the argument treats emergency humanitarian relief as continuous development aid, so dependency and long-term reform do not fully answer the specific disaster-relief question. The highest priority is to distinguish immediate life-saving assistance from prolonged aid and evaluate the former directly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear disagreement is developed with relevant concerns, but the reasoning partly shifts from disaster relief to long-term foreign aid and dependency.
Directly assess short-term humanitarian assistance during disasters and distinguish it from ongoing development funding before reaching a conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through focused paragraphs, with cohesive links and referencing used naturally throughout.
Make the logical bridge between immediate relief, dependency, and the proposed alternative more explicit to strengthen overall coherence.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a wide, precise range of topic vocabulary and effective academic collocations with only minor repetition.
Refine the terminology by consistently separating humanitarian relief, reconstruction support, and long-term development aid.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are varied and handled with a high degree of accuracy, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Continue refining concision in longer sentences while maintaining the strong control of subordination and punctuation.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.