Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Environmental problems have become a pressing global issue, prompting discussions on whether solutions should be implemented on a global or national scale. While some advocate for a localized approach to address environmental concerns, others argue for coordinated global efforts. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives and assert why I believe a global strategy is paramount for effective environmental conservation.
On the one hand, proponents of dealing with environmental problems at a national level argue that local conditions and priorities vary significantly. They contend that tailoring solutions to specific national contexts allows for more efficient and targeted interventions. For example, a nation facing water scarcity may prioritize initiatives related to water conservation, while a country grappling with deforestation may focus on reforestation efforts. This approach is seen as more adaptable to the diverse ecological challenges each nation encounters.
Conversely, those advocating for a global approach emphasize the interconnected nature of environmental issues that transcend national boundaries. Climate change, pollution, and biodiversity loss are global phenomena that require unified efforts to address effectively. A pertinent example is the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions, where collaboration on an international scale is imperative to combat the shared threat of climate change. Global initiatives such as the Paris Agreement underscore the necessity of collective action to mitigate environmental degradation.
Personally, I firmly support the idea that environmental problems demand a global response. Nature operates without regard for political borders, and the scale of many ecological challenges necessitates coordinated efforts on a worldwide scale.
In conclusion, while arguments exist for addressing environmental problems at both national and global levels, the complexity and global nature of these issues make a coordinated global approach essential. Only through shared responsibility and collaboration can humanity effectively tackle the root causes of environmental degradation and work towards sustainable solutions.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise debate phrase Original: prompting discussions on whether Suggested revision: prompting debate over whether Why it matters: “Debate over whether” expresses the contested question more concisely.
- 2. Avoid redundant stance wording Original: explore both perspectives and assert why I believe Suggested revision: explore both perspectives and explain why Why it matters: The revision removes the redundant combination of “assert” and “I believe.”
- 3. Use concise evaluation Original: paramount for effective environmental conservation Suggested revision: essential to effective environmental conservation Why it matters: “Essential to” states the importance directly without the elevated adjective “paramount.”
- 4. Use concise group label Original: proponents of dealing with environmental problems at a national level Suggested revision: advocates of national environmental solutions Why it matters: The revised noun phrase identifies the group without a long gerund construction.
- 5. Clarify adaptability Original: is seen as more adaptable to Suggested revision: can be adapted more readily to Why it matters: The passive verb “adapted” clearly indicates that the approach can be adjusted to different challenges.
- 6. Use concise advocate phrase Original: those advocating for a global approach Suggested revision: advocates of a global approach Why it matters: The noun phrase is more concise than the participial construction.
- 7. Supply missing object Original: require unified efforts to address effectively Suggested revision: require unified efforts to address them effectively Why it matters: The transitive verb “address” needs the pronoun “them” to refer to the global phenomena.
- 8. Remove redundant stance marker Original: Personally, I firmly support Suggested revision: I firmly support Why it matters: The first-person pronoun already makes the stance personal, so “Personally” is unnecessary.
- 9. Avoid repeated scale wording Original: coordinated efforts on a worldwide scale Suggested revision: worldwide coordination Why it matters: The concise noun phrase avoids repeating “scale” within the same sentence.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: A pertinent example is the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions, where collaboration on an international scale is imperative to combat the shared threat of climate change. Suggested revision: The reduction of greenhouse gas emissions is a pertinent example because international collaboration is imperative to combat the shared threat of climate change. Why it matters: The rewrite replaces the unsuitable relative adverb “where” with an explicit causal link.
Suggested Rewrites
- prompting discussions on whether prompting debate over whether
- explore both perspectives and assert why I believe explore both perspectives and explain why
- paramount for effective environmental conservation essential to effective environmental conservation
- proponents of dealing with environmental problems at a national level advocates of national environmental solutions
- is seen as more adaptable to can be adapted more readily to
- those advocating for a global approach advocates of a global approach
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, well-organised discussion of both approaches, supported by relevant examples and a consistent preference for international action. Its main limitation is that the case for the writer’s own view remains somewhat general and repeats the idea of cross-border cooperation. The highest-priority improvement is to develop that position through a more specific explanation of why global coordination succeeds where national action alone cannot.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are addressed directly, the position is clear throughout, and the main ideas receive relevant support.
Deepen the justification for the preferred global approach by explaining a concrete mechanism or consequence beyond the need for cooperation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs with effective, unobtrusive linking.
Make the transition from the global-view paragraph to the personal-position paragraph more developmental so the latter adds rather than restates reasoning.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary is used naturally to discuss environmental policy and ecological challenges.
Reduce repetition of words such as global, scale, and coordinated by using more exact references to international governance and cross-border effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is handled accurately, with strong control of punctuation and agreement.
For further refinement, vary the openings of longer sentences while maintaining the same high level of grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.