Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
Language is a gateway to knowing about any culture, tradition or country. It is observed that many languages are on the verge of extinction due to being less spoken by people. So, the government’s effort by pouring money to save these languages is sought, while others consider it a waste of money. In my perspective, apart from spending money, making them compulsory in school subjects as well as in offices can help to save them.
Two commence with, and firstly, if governmental bodies utilize funds to save minority languages by making them compulsory to read as a subject from early years, then these can be saved. Extensive research is needed to allure the pupils to read them because these are often neglected due to their less usage either at work or school. For instance, now people are more modern, and they display less enthusiasm for underrated languages due to their less usability. But the government can do a great deal by publishing books and journals with the great academicians to publish the rare facts that the other languages do not have. Only then these can be read enthusiastically. If any government grows the plant of language at the beginning of a child’s career, it will flourish in the coming days.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise wording Original: gateway to knowing about Suggested revision: gateway to understanding Why it matters: 'Understanding' expresses cultural knowledge more naturally and concisely than 'knowing about.'
- 2. Clarify the cause Original: due to being less spoken by people Suggested revision: because they have few speakers Why it matters: The original passive construction is awkward and does not express the small speaker population clearly.
- 3. Use correct phrase Original: In Suggested revision: From Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'from my perspective.'
- 4. Fix the complement Original: making them compulsory in school subjects Suggested revision: making them compulsory school subjects Why it matters: Languages themselves become school subjects, so the preposition 'in' is incorrect.
- 5. Clarify the parallel action Original: as well as in offices Suggested revision: and requiring their use in offices Why it matters: The original phrase does not state what should be compulsory in offices.
- 6. Use accurate verb Original: allure the pupils to read them Suggested revision: encourage pupils to study them Why it matters: 'Allure' implies temptation and is inappropriate for encouraging language study.
- 7. Clarify the reference Original: these are often neglected Suggested revision: minority languages are often neglected Why it matters: The demonstrative 'these' has an unclear antecedent after the reference to pupils.
- 8. Use natural noun phrase Original: their less usage Suggested revision: their limited use Why it matters: 'Less usage' is not the natural way to describe infrequent use.
- 9. Balance the structure Original: either at work or school Suggested revision: either at work or at school Why it matters: Repeating the preposition creates a grammatically balanced pair.
- 10. Use natural academic term Original: the great academicians Suggested revision: respected academics Why it matters: 'Academicians' is uncommon in this meaning and 'great' is vague.
- 11. Clarify the content Original: to publish the rare facts Suggested revision: to present distinctive knowledge Why it matters: Facts are not normally described as 'rare,' and repeating 'publish' makes the sentence cumbersome.
- 12. Remove the article Original: the other languages Suggested revision: other languages Why it matters: The general comparison does not refer to a previously defined set, so 'the' is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- gateway to knowing about gateway to understanding
- due to being less spoken by people because they have few speakers
- In From
- making them compulsory in school subjects making them compulsory school subjects
- as well as in offices and requiring their use in offices
- allure the pupils to read them encourage pupils to study them
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response develops one relevant case for government action and uses some ambitious vocabulary, but it leaves the opposing view essentially undiscussed, does not fully evaluate whether spending is wasteful, and ends without a conclusion. Its short length compounds this incomplete task coverage. The highest priority is to plan a complete response with separate treatment of both views and a clear opinion, then support each position with focused reasons and examples.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops support for preserving languages but omits the waste-of-money view, offers only a limited opinion, and is substantially under length.
Address both views in separate developed paragraphs and finish with an explicit judgement that directly answers the spending question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and single body paragraph provide a basic direction, but progression is incomplete and linking is often mechanical or unclear.
Use a complete four-paragraph plan with one controlling idea per body paragraph and clear logical movement between supporting points.
Lexical Resource
There is some range and ambition, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices make several ideas awkward to follow.
Choose common, precise expressions for language use, education, and government funding before attempting more elaborate vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but recurring errors in clause construction, articles, and phrasing reduce clarity and control.
Practise constructing accurate main-clause and subordinate-clause combinations, then proofread each sentence for articles and agreement.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.