In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better.
Sample Response
The idea that a marriage should be arranged by the parents of the couple, or by other members of the family, is quite acceptable to some societies, yet completely out of the question for others. It all depends on your cultural expectations. In so-called western societies, it is very unusual for marriages to be arranged. Most young people would not welcome the idea that their parents have the right to choose their partner for life. They feel that arranged marriages deny them their fundamental right to choose, even if they make a bad decision. However, if we are honest about it, we might acknowledge that some parents organise their children's lives in such a way that they are likely to meet and marry partners the parents approve o£ It could be said that this is, to some extent, similar to an arranged marriage. It is always better when families support the relationship and welcome the grandchildren. People for whom arranged marriages are the cultural norm often argue that the likelihood of the marriage lasting is greater when it is set up in this manner. Parents can be assured that their children are joining a family of similar standing and cultural background, and this, in the long run, makes for a more stable society if your parents' marriage was arranged, and has worked well, then why should you question the custom? The important thing to ensure is that people are never forced into a marriage which will make them unhappy or lead to an unequal relationship where one partner is exploited by the other. This applies in all societies and situations.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct preposition Original: to Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Use 'in' to describe acceptance within particular societies.
- 2. Capitalise proper term Original: western Suggested revision: Western Why it matters: Capitalise 'Western' when it identifies a broad cultural region.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: their partner for life Suggested revision: their life partner Why it matters: The replacement expresses the same idea more concisely.
- 4. Use formal phrasing Original: if we are honest about it Suggested revision: in practice Why it matters: The replacement gives the transition a more academic tone.
- 5. Correct corrupted word Original: approve o£ Suggested revision: approve of Why it matters: The final character is corrupted and the phrasal verb requires 'of'.
- 6. Remove vague hedge Original: It could be said that this is Suggested revision: This is Why it matters: The direct form avoids unnecessary impersonal hedging.
- 7. Use precise verb Original: set up in this manner Suggested revision: arranged in this manner Why it matters: 'Arranged' refers more precisely to how the marriage is organised.
- 8. Use defining relative Original: which Suggested revision: that Why it matters: 'That' clearly introduces the defining relative clause here.
- 9. Use precise relative Original: relationship where one partner Suggested revision: relationship in which one partner Why it matters: 'In which' is the more precise relative form for a relationship.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Parents can be assured that their children are joining a family of similar standing and cultural background, and this, in the long run, makes for a more stable society if your parents' marriage was arranged, and has worked well, then why should you question the custom? Suggested revision: Parents can be assured that their children are joining a family of similar standing and cultural background, which can contribute to a more stable society. If your parents' arranged marriage has worked well, why should you question the custom? Why it matters: The original runs two independent arguments together without a sentence boundary.
Suggested Rewrites
- to in
- western Western
- their partner for life their life partner
- if we are honest about it in practice
- approve o£ approve of
- It could be said that this is This is
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its nuanced consideration of cultural context and the potential benefits and risks of arranged marriage. Its main limitation is that it never clearly states which system is better, despite that being an explicit requirement, and its presentation as one long paragraph weakens readability. The highest priority is to give a direct comparative position and organise each side into a clearly developed paragraph.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both systems are discussed with relevant reasoning, but the required judgment about which is better remains unclear.
State a direct preference and justify it by explicitly comparing the two systems against clear criteria.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through personal choice, family influence, and arranged marriage, although the single-block presentation and one run-on transition reduce clarity.
Use distinct paragraphs for each system and a separate conclusion so the comparison is easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a flexible and generally precise range, including appropriate expressions about cultural norms, stability, and exploitation.
Proofread for isolated slips and choose consistently precise wording, especially around parental influence and approval.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, and most sentences are error-free.
Check sentence boundaries carefully to prevent long clauses from running together and obscuring their logical relationship.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state which one do you think is better.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.