Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Sample Response
It is true that some minority languages may disappear in the near future. Although it can be argued that governments could save money by allowing this to happen, I believe that these languages should be protected and preserved.
There are several reasons why saving minority languages could be seen as a waste of money. Firstly, if a language is only spoken by a small number of people, expensive education programmes will be needed to make sure that more people learn it, and the state will have to pay for facilities, teachers and marketing. This money might be better spent on other public services. Secondly, it would be much cheaper and more efficient for countries to have just one language. Governments could cut all kinds of costs related to communicating with each minority group.
Despite the above arguments, I believe that governments should try to preserve languages that are less widely spoken. A language is much more than simply a means of communication; it has a vital connection with the cultural identity of the people who speak it. If a language disappears, a whole way of life will disappear with it, and we will lose the rich cultural diversity that makes societies more interesting. By spending money to protect minority languages, governments can also preserve traditions, customs and behaviours that are part of a country’s history.
In conclusion, it may save money in the short term if we allow minority languages to disappear, but in the long term this would have an extremely negative impact on our cultural heritage.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Make wording concise Original: some minority languages may disappear in the near future Suggested revision: some minority languages may soon disappear Why it matters: Soon conveys the time reference more concisely.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: allowing this to happen Suggested revision: allowing them to disappear Why it matters: The explicit pronoun and verb make the reference to minority languages clearer.
- 3. Use concise wording Original: make sure that more people learn it Suggested revision: ensure that more people learn it Why it matters: Ensure is a concise formal alternative to make sure.
- 4. Clarify intended meaning Original: have just one language Suggested revision: use a single common language Why it matters: The replacement clarifies that the argument concerns shared language use rather than language ownership.
- 5. Remove vague wording Original: all kinds of costs Suggested revision: various costs Why it matters: Various is more concise and formal than all kinds of.
- 6. Use direct reference Original: Despite the above arguments Suggested revision: Despite these arguments Why it matters: These refers more directly to the arguments in the preceding paragraph.
- 7. Strengthen the collocation Original: has a vital connection with the cultural identity Suggested revision: is closely tied to the cultural identity Why it matters: Closely tied to is a more natural collocation for this relationship.
- 8. Avoid repeated wording Original: a whole way of life will disappear with it Suggested revision: an associated way of life may also be lost Why it matters: The replacement avoids repeating disappear while preserving the claimed cultural loss.
- 9. Use precise expression Original: makes societies more interesting Suggested revision: enriches societies Why it matters: Enriches expresses the benefit of cultural diversity more precisely.
- 10. Use cultural collocation Original: behaviours Suggested revision: practices Why it matters: Practices collocates more naturally with traditions and customs in this cultural context.
Suggested Rewrites
- some minority languages may disappear in the near future some minority languages may soon disappear
- allowing this to happen allowing them to disappear
- make sure that more people learn it ensure that more people learn it
- have just one language use a single common language
- all kinds of costs various costs
- Despite the above arguments Despite these arguments
Why this response received Band 9.0
The response fully addresses both views and sustains a clear opinion through relevant, well-developed reasoning. Its strongest feature is the controlled progression from the financial case against preservation to the cultural case for it, supported by precise and highly accurate language; its only minor limitation is that the discussion remains general. A useful refinement would be one brief concrete illustration of successful language preservation while retaining the essay's concise focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are fully explored, the writer's position is explicit throughout, and the supporting ideas are relevant and thoroughly developed.
As an optional refinement, add a concise real-world illustration without reducing the depth or balance of the existing argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses seamlessly through a clear four-paragraph structure with cohesive devices used naturally and unobtrusively.
Maintain this controlled progression while ensuring any added example remains integrated into the relevant paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, natural, and flexibly used to express both economic and cultural arguments.
Continue selecting precise topic language and avoid unnecessary embellishment that could weaken the current economy of expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with full control, accurate punctuation, and consistently error-free grammar.
Preserve this level of grammatical control when introducing any additional detail or more complex qualification.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.