Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree to punish a kid to teach him/ her something important? What kind of punishment do you think parents and teachers can use?
Sample Response
Parenting is a very difficult challenge all around the world. Most of the parents consider punishment a better teaching method instead of listening and communicating with the children. However, to my mind, anything excess is bad. It I not deniable that the punishment is one of the easiest ways to teach children good or bad but it should not be the only way of teaching.
To start with, children are very sensitive, want love and care. They need their parents’ support and encouragement in every aspect of their life. So, it is considered by most of the psychologists that by giving harsh punishments too often parents are making their children prone to violence. Hence, it is now proven by social researchers that children learn less from punishments, becomes shy and insecure and it may affect their social behaviour.
However, it is deniable that children are naturally advantageous and curious about everything. Some are stubborn and need to deal differently. For such children, parents and teachers should adopt a strict but no-torture behaviour. It could include numerous methods such as scolding, taking their favourite belonging for a couple of days or limiting their leisure time. In addition, cancelling their pocket money for a month or cancel a weekend outing plan could be a better option rather than locking them alone in a dark room.
In conclusion, I surely believe that minor punishments could teach children the difference between right and wrong, however, the consequences could be different for every individual child. I suggest that there should be a proper and balanced communication of parents and teachers with the children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the article Original: Most of the parents Suggested revision: Most parents Why it matters: A general plural noun after 'most' does not take 'of the'.
- 2. Complete the comparison Original: instead of listening Suggested revision: than listening Why it matters: The comparative phrase 'a better method' is followed by 'than'.
- 3. Use the fixed phrase Original: anything excess is bad Suggested revision: anything in excess is harmful Why it matters: The fixed expression is 'in excess', and 'harmful' states the intended effect precisely.
- 4. Correct the clause Original: It I not deniable Suggested revision: It is undeniable Why it matters: The replacement corrects the mistyped verb and uses the standard adjective.
- 5. Remove the article Original: that the punishment Suggested revision: that punishment Why it matters: The general concept of punishment is uncountable and does not take 'the' here.
- 6. Use the fixed expression Original: good or bad Suggested revision: right from wrong Why it matters: 'Teach children right from wrong' is the natural expression for moral distinctions.
- 7. Separate independent clauses Original: but it should Suggested revision: , but it should Why it matters: A comma is needed before 'but' when it joins two independent clauses.
- 8. Join coordinated verbs Original: children are very sensitive, want Suggested revision: children are very sensitive and want Why it matters: The coordinated descriptions need 'and' rather than a comma alone.
- 9. Fix number agreement Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive 'their' refers to multiple children, so 'lives' should also be plural.
- 10. Remove the article Original: most of the psychologists Suggested revision: most psychologists Why it matters: A general plural group after 'most' does not require 'of the'.
- 11. Mark the clause boundary Original: too often parents Suggested revision: too often, parents Why it matters: The introductory adverbial phrase should be separated from the main clause by a comma.
- 12. Use simple present Original: are making their children prone Suggested revision: make their children prone Why it matters: The simple present is appropriate for the general claim being made.
Suggested Rewrites
- Most of the parents Most parents
- instead of listening than listening
- anything excess is bad anything in excess is harmful
- It I not deniable It is undeniable
- that the punishment that punishment
- good or bad right from wrong
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear qualified position that minor, non-violent consequences can be useful while harsh punishment damages children, and it supplies several practical examples for parents and teachers. Its main limitation is frequent lexical and grammatical inaccuracy, including contradictory word choices that occasionally obscure the intended claim. The highest priority is to express the distinction between proportionate consequences and abuse in simpler, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the extent question and suitable forms of punishment are addressed with a consistent qualified view and relevant examples.
Explain how each mild consequence teaches responsibility and distinguish it explicitly from fear-based or physically harmful punishment.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay progresses logically from the risks of harsh punishment to acceptable alternatives and a balanced conclusion, with clear paragraphing.
Use more precise contrast links so the paragraph supporting limited consequences does not appear to contradict the earlier position.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for discipline and child development, but recurring inaccurate words and collocations reduce precision.
Use excessive punishment, undeniable, adventurous or inquisitive, non-violent discipline, confiscate a favourite possession, and constructive communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence types is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and clause construction weaken control.
Prioritise complete clauses and agreement, especially it is undeniable, children become, some need to be treated differently, and cancelling an outing could help.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many parents use punishment to teach the difference between right and wrong to kids. Many people think that the punishment is necessary to help children learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree to punish a kid to teach him/ her something important? What kind of punishment do you think parents and teachers can use?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.