Zoos are inhumane and should be abolished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The ethical implications surrounding the existence of zoos continue to spark debatecontentious debates and some argueopine that they are inhumaneinhuman and should not exist. I am strongly agreein staunch agreement that zoos, due to their inherent inhumanity, should be abolished for compelling reasons that challenge their ethical standing.
Primarily, zoos are often criticized for confining animals within unnatural and restricted enclosures, depriving them of their natural habitats and essential freedoms. For instance, large mammals such as elephants or big cats, naturally accustomed to vast territories, are confined to limited spaces within zoos, leading to stress, behavioural abnormalities, and compromised physical health. The notorious incident of a confined orca, Tilikum, in SeaWorld suffering physical and psychological distress, as depicted in the documentary "Blackfish," epitomizes the detrimental consequences of captivity on animal welfare.
Furthermore, zoos perpetuate the notion of animals as mere spectacles for human entertainment, commodifying living creatures for profit. Animals' naturalinstinctual behaviours are often restricted or manipulated to accommodate visitors' schedulesaccommodate visitor schedules or enhance the spectacle, disrupting their natural behavioural patterns. This highlights the ethical dilemma of using sentient beings solely for human amusement, undermining their intrinsic value and dignity. For instance, in some zoos, nocturnal animals like owls, typically active at night, are unnaturally exposed to bright lights during the day to accommodate visitors' viewing timescater to visitor viewing times, disturbing their natural sleep cycles and causing stress.
In conclusion, the ethical arguments against zoos' existence are compellingcompelling and persuasive. The detrimental impact of confining animals to limited spaces, depriving them of natural habitats, and exploiting them for human entertainment collectively constitutesconstitute a strong case for the abolition of zoos. I believe that zoos have no moral grounds for existingno moral ground to exist in the modern world.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response takes a clear, unwavering position and develops two persuasive ethical arguments with specific, relevant examples of harm caused by captivity. Its main limitation is minor overstatement and occasional repetition of the same ethical language; the priority is to introduce slightly more nuance and vary repeated expressions while preserving the essay’s strong precision, control, and logical progression.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is direct and fully developed through two relevant ethical arguments supported by detailed examples.
Add brief nuance about whether any conservation-focused institutions could avoid these criticisms while still defending the central position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing, progression, and referencing are well managed, creating a coherent argument that is easy to follow.
Vary the transition into the second body paragraph and trim repeated references to natural behaviour and ethical harm.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys complex ethical ideas effectively, with only minor repetition and occasional overstatement.
Vary recurring terms such as ethical and natural, and replace absolute wording with equally precise but more measured language where appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence forms is used accurately and flexibly, with only rare awkward constructions.
Simplify the sentence introducing the Tilikum example so its main clause is immediately clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Zoos are inhumane and should be abolished. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.