People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.
Sample Response
I think there are two types of people who do a job. The first types of people work for money primarily, and another type of people work for self-realization, to use their skills. I state my position on the following points. First of all, people who work for self-realization like their job. Money is not important for them, they need satisfaction. I believe that this kind of people makes our evolution and history. They aspire after new inventions and discoveries overcoming all obstacles in their ways. I think that these people are very interesting because they know a lot, read many books and have their own life experience. Of course, they need money for some essential needs such as food and cloth, but they do not need them for luxury houses or expensive furnishings. Many scientists are people who devote their lives to new knowledge and discoveries. There are pieces of evidence of lots of opulent inventors and scientist who loves their work more than anything else and have devoted their lives to the work they loved. Their primary reason for working was their passion for the work. Second of all, I believe that people need self-realization. It gives them the opportunity to contribute in world's history and share their knowledge and experience with other people. I think it helps them to realise that they are needed by humankind and will not be forgotten. This is priceless. To sum up, I think that people's aspiration after self-realization is the main reason why we have now good medicine, different means of communications, many devices to make our lives easier, etc.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix number agreement Original: types Suggested revision: type Why it matters: The ordinal refers to one category, so “type” must be singular.
- 2. Fix parallel structure Original: another type of people work Suggested revision: the second type works Why it matters: The second category should match the first, and its singular head noun requires “works.”
- 3. Link parallel purposes Original: self-realization, to use their skills Suggested revision: self-realization and to use their skills Why it matters: The conjunction clearly links the two stated purposes for working.
- 4. Fix noun pattern Original: this kind of people Suggested revision: these kinds of people Why it matters: The demonstrative and noun must agree with the plural “people.”
- 5. Use precise expression Original: makes our evolution and history Suggested revision: contributes to our progress and history Why it matters: The original verb does not express the intended contribution naturally.
- 6. Fix verb pattern Original: aspire after new inventions Suggested revision: aspire to make new inventions Why it matters: “Aspire” takes an infinitive when describing an intended achievement.
- 7. Use fixed expression Original: ways Suggested revision: way Why it matters: The fixed expression is “in their way” even when referring to several people.
- 8. Use natural noun phrase Original: their own life experience Suggested revision: their own experience Why it matters: The shorter uncountable noun phrase expresses accumulated personal knowledge naturally.
- 9. Choose correct noun Original: cloth Suggested revision: clothing Why it matters: “Clothing” means garments, whereas “cloth” means fabric.
- 10. Fix pronoun reference Original: them Suggested revision: it Why it matters: The pronoun refers to the uncountable singular noun “money.”
- 11. Use concise evidence phrase Original: pieces of evidence of lots of Suggested revision: many examples of Why it matters: The original stacked quantifiers are awkward and obscure the reference to people.
- 12. Use accurate adjective Original: opulent Suggested revision: wealthy Why it matters: “Wealthy” directly describes people who have substantial money, while “opulent” usually describes luxurious settings or lifestyles.
Suggested Rewrites
- types type
- another type of people work the second type works
- self-realization, to use their skills self-realization and to use their skills
- this kind of people these kinds of people
- makes our evolution and history contributes to our progress and history
- aspire after new inventions aspire to make new inventions
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear non-financial reason for working and sustains its focus on self-realisation, using scientists as a relevant illustration. However, the discussion repeats the same point instead of developing specific examples, while one-block organisation and frequent collocational and grammatical inaccuracies weaken control. Prioritise a more concrete, fully explained example and separate the reasoning into purposeful paragraphs, then edit recurring agreement and word-choice errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the task by discussing self-realisation as a non-financial motive, but its support is repetitive and largely general.
Develop one specific example of a worker or scientist by showing how passion motivates the work and what contribution results.
Coherence and Cohesion
The central idea is easy to follow, but mechanical sequencing, repetition, and the lack of paragraph breaks limit the sense of progression.
Group the introduction, main explanation, supporting example, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs with clearer links between them.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate range for discussing motivation and achievement, but inaccurate collocations and word forms recur despite generally clear meaning.
Review common combinations such as aspire to, contribute to history, clothing, and means of communication, and avoid imprecise choices such as opulent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response combines simple and complex sentences, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and clause punctuation reduce accuracy.
Focus editing on subject-verb agreement and countable nouns, then separate comma-spliced independent clauses into correctly linked sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.