Many people are of the opinion that putting criminals in prison is not severe enough as a form of punishment. Others, however, believe that imprisonment is one of the most effective ways of punishing wrong-doers. What is your opinion on that? Which one do you think is more effective in terms of punishing criminals?
Sample Response
‘Crime and punishment’ is rooted in the very fabric of our history and society. The rules that drive the society are meant to be obeyed and breaking them is considered as crimes and hence the society has made an arrangement to punish the offenders to maintain the peace among us. The modern concept of country is based on the primitive society people used to live in and every country has its own sets of laws for people to abide by. Many people consider prison, which was invented as part of our journey towards modernizations, as a proper place for the criminals while others opine that more severe punishment is a better alternative to maintaining the peace in a country. I believe that prison is the most effective way of punishing wrong-doers.
First of all, putting criminals in prisons for their violation of laws was not invented in a day. That came to our society with the pace of time and from the need of a way to punish the wrong-doers. Hence this is an already proven way to punish the criminals and introducing a more efficient way would not be that easy.
Secondly, not all crimes and background of criminals are same and thus imprisonment for different time length is very much justified. For instance, someone who broke a law for the first time and a recurring offender should not be punished in the same way even though their nature or crimes is same. Here the imprisonment for various sentences could be an ideal punishment.
Thirdly, capital punishment like death sentence is too inhuman and the goal of our judicial system and law is to reform the society not to kill the criminals. The prison as a punishment offers plenty of opportunities to the offenders to remorse and become good citizens. Thus considering the true purpose of our law and order, imprisonment is the best possible punishing arrangement. Some might argue that we should hang a killer instead of letting him live in the prison. But my point of view contradicts with them as I believe that killing a murderer would make us no less than a murderer. We would be guilty of the same crime he has committed. What punishment could be crueller that letting the criminal rot in a jail alone and remorse every single moment of his life thinking about the heinous act he has done?
Finally, severe and cruel punishment systems were mostly invented by criminals themselves, especially during the wars. Following those methods to punish a wrongdoer is not justified at all. Our aim is to make the world a better place to live in while not showing mercy to the people who harm others or break the law and hence imprisonment is the best possible form of punishment in my view.
To draw the conclusion, the imprisonment is the best way to punish the criminals while maintaining the peace in the society and letting the wrong-doers remorse and become a better person in the future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: The modern concept of country Suggested revision: The modern concept of a country Why it matters: The singular countable noun ‘country’ requires an article.
- 2. Repair the relative clause Original: the primitive society people used to live in Suggested revision: the primitive societies in which people used to live Why it matters: A relative structure is needed to connect ‘societies’ with where people lived.
- 3. Fix number agreement Original: sets Suggested revision: set Why it matters: Each country has one collective set of laws in this construction.
- 4. Use the uncountable noun Original: modernizations Suggested revision: modernization Why it matters: ‘Modernization’ is uncountable when referring generally to the process of becoming modern.
- 5. Express punishment precisely Original: a proper place for the criminals Suggested revision: an appropriate punishment for criminals Why it matters: The discussion concerns whether prison is a suitable punishment, rather than merely a place for criminals.
- 6. Correct the relationship Original: a better alternative to maintaining the peace Suggested revision: a better means of maintaining peace Why it matters: A punishment can be a means of maintaining peace, while ‘alternative to maintaining peace’ implies opposing that goal.
- 7. Use the fixed expression Original: prisons Suggested revision: prison Why it matters: The institutional expression is normally ‘in prison’ without a plural noun.
- 8. Use a direct gerund Original: for their violation of laws Suggested revision: for violating the law Why it matters: The gerund construction is more natural after ‘for’ when describing why they are punished.
- 9. Use the standard phrase Original: with the pace of time Suggested revision: over time Why it matters: ‘Over time’ is the idiomatic expression for gradual historical development.
- 10. Correct the preposition Original: of Suggested revision: for Why it matters: The noun ‘need’ takes ‘for’ before the thing required.
- 11. Remove redundancy Original: an already proven way Suggested revision: a proven way Why it matters: ‘Proven’ already indicates that something has previously been demonstrated.
- 12. Fix agreement and possession Original: not all crimes and background of criminals are same Suggested revision: not all crimes are the same, and criminals have different backgrounds Why it matters: The original coordination mismatches a plural count noun with a singular uncountable phrase and omits the article before ‘same’.
Suggested Rewrites
- The modern concept of country The modern concept of a country
- the primitive society people used to live in the primitive societies in which people used to live
- sets set
- modernizations modernization
- a proper place for the criminals an appropriate punishment for criminals
- a better alternative to maintaining the peace a better means of maintaining peace
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, consistent opinion and supports it with several relevant arguments, particularly the discussion of proportionate sentences and rehabilitation. Its main limitation is uneven precision: some claims are asserted rather than demonstrated, while recurring collocation and grammatical errors weaken otherwise ambitious language. The highest priority is to develop fewer arguments more rigorously and edit them for natural word choice and sentence control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and supported by several relevant reasons, though some arguments remain general or weakly substantiated.
Develop the strongest two or three reasons with clearer evidence instead of relying on assertions about history or effectiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, sequenced body paragraphs, and conclusion, despite some repetition and an overlong third paragraph.
Balance paragraph length and use topic-focused transitions rather than relying mainly on ordinal signposts.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a fairly wide topic-specific vocabulary, but recurring word-form and collocation errors reduce precision.
Correct combinations such as feel remorse, sentence lengths, and disagree with, and avoid forcing less familiar words into unsuitable contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses varied complex structures, but frequent errors with articles, agreement, plurals, prepositions, and sentence boundaries remain noticeable.
Proofread complex sentences clause by clause, focusing first on article use and subject-verb and noun-number agreement.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people are of the opinion that putting criminals in prison is not severe enough as a form of punishment. Others, however, believe that imprisonment is one of the most effective ways of punishing wrong-doers. What is your opinion on that? Which one do you think is more effective in terms of punishing criminals?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.