Parents and teachers make many rules for children to encourage good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children would benefit from fewer rules and greater freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
To teach children good behaviours, respect for elders and dealing with society effectively teachers and parents impose so many rules. Since childhood we have grown up with many don'ts and do's which directly and indirectly taught us many lessons of life and made our life easy, comfortable and successful. As a rule, parents define timetables of all the activities to be done in a day which is called good habits like getting up early morning, staying clean, having food in time, respecting elders, loving youngers, not to trouble anyone and so on. If a child follows these rules would greatly benefit in future life like having a healthy life, being amiable and punctual, caring others etc. The rule means a protection shield from possible harms. Out of their experience of their life, our elders ask us to follow the rules and stop us if we are going towards the wrong path. Moreover, these rules and punctuality would protect us from so many bad habits and keep us alert to choose right friends, become a good citizen and being able to take responsibilities. In another way, if the children who are always under control and pressure of their parent's strict rules they face another challenge of life. For example, those children will be less confident, poor in decision-making skills and would not be able to lead others. They take the time to mingle with society and hesitate to interact with anyone. They look for their elders always to show them the path and lead them. As a result, they would not be able to face the real world and other people can take advantages of that because they do not have the sensibility to distinguish between right and wrong sometimes. Hence I agree there should be certain rules to make children learn good things but we should not crush their emotions and feelings. It's parents and teachers’ responsibility to teach them why they have to follow the rules and how few things are not good for them. Sometimes they are needed to be given a chance to learn and face the society all by their own so that they should be free and alert to accept challenges, deal those issues and come up with a solution. This attitude and freedom will lead children to become better and stronger persons.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the time redundancy Original: Since childhood we have grown up Suggested revision: Throughout childhood, we grow up Why it matters: Growing up already occurs during childhood, so the original time construction is redundant and illogical.
- 2. Correct the fixed phrase Original: many don'ts and do's Suggested revision: many dos and don'ts Why it matters: Dos and don'ts is the conventional order and spelling of this expression.
- 3. Use the plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural lives agrees with the collective first-person subject we.
- 4. Use a natural timetable phrase Original: define timetables of all the activities Suggested revision: set timetables for daily activities Why it matters: People set timetables for activities rather than define timetables of them.
- 5. Clarify the purpose Original: which is called good habits Suggested revision: to establish good habits Why it matters: The revision correctly expresses the intended purpose of setting the timetable.
- 6. Add the time preposition Original: getting up early morning Suggested revision: getting up early in the morning Why it matters: In the morning is the standard time expression.
- 7. Use natural meal wording Original: having food in time Suggested revision: eating on time Why it matters: Eating on time is the natural expression for following a regular meal schedule.
- 8. Name younger people clearly Original: loving youngers Suggested revision: caring for younger children Why it matters: Youngers is not a standard noun for younger people in this context.
- 9. Keep the list parallel Original: not to trouble anyone Suggested revision: not troubling anyone Why it matters: The negative gerund matches the grammatical form of the other activities in the list.
- 10. Supply a complete subject Original: If a child follows these rules would greatly benefit Suggested revision: A child who follows these rules may greatly benefit Why it matters: The revision removes the incomplete conditional structure and gives the verb a clear subject.
- 11. Add the required preposition Original: caring others Suggested revision: caring for others Why it matters: Care requires for before the person receiving care.
- 12. Use a natural metaphor Original: The rule means a protection shield Suggested revision: Rules provide a protective shield Why it matters: The revision uses the standard adjective protective and a verb that fits the metaphor.
Suggested Rewrites
- Since childhood we have grown up Throughout childhood, we grow up
- many don'ts and do's many dos and don'ts
- life lives
- define timetables of all the activities set timetables for daily activities
- which is called good habits to establish good habits
- getting up early morning getting up early in the morning
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response considers both the protective value of rules and the risks of excessive control, eventually reaching a sensible qualified position. Its main limitation is that the stance emerges late and the entire discussion forms one dense paragraph, while frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrases weaken otherwise relevant ideas. Prioritise stating the degree of agreement in the introduction, then organise each side into a focused paragraph with carefully checked sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant benefits and drawbacks are developed and a qualified position is eventually clear, but the degree of agreement is not established early.
State in the introduction that children need essential rules alongside meaningful freedom, then make every paragraph support that exact position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument moves recognisably from benefits to drawbacks and a conclusion, but the absence of paragraphing creates a dense and sometimes repetitive progression.
Use an introduction, one paragraph on necessary rules, one on freedom, and a concise conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The response has an adequate range for discussing behaviour and independence, though frequent inaccurate word forms and collocations reduce clarity.
Replace phrases such as loving youngers, possible harms, and take advantages with caring for younger people, possible harm, and take advantage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains generally understandable, but frequent errors in conditional clauses, agreement, articles, prepositions, and parallel structures limit control.
Rewrite incomplete patterns such as If a child follows these rules would benefit as If a child follows these rules, they will benefit.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Parents and teachers make many rules for children to encourage good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children would benefit from fewer rules and greater freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.