Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?
Sample Response
Traffic congestion is one of the most serious problems in big cities and it has made people’s lives more difficult. Thirty years ago, there were fewer cars on the street and people did not suffer from traffic. Today, however, streets are full of cars, buses and trucks. This essay will analyse the most important causes of traffic congestion and will explain the effects of it. Several factors have contributed to the problem of traffic in big cities. The most significant factor is the high number of cars. Today, companies manufacture a large number of cars and it is pretty easy for people to have one. Furthermore, many families own two or three cars which result in the increase of traffic congestion. Another contributing factor is the lack of public transports. For example, there are very few subway systems in my hometown, Tehran, and bus system is inconvenient and inefficient. Therefore, people use their own cars even in rush hours. The last cause is road system. Most of the streets in my city are narrow and few cars can pass through them simultaneously. The problem of traffic has several effects on people and city. The most significant effect is increased anger and frustration. Every day, people experience a delay in reaching their workplaces or universities. This leads to high tension and stress among them. Another feasible effect worth mentioning here is the environmental effect. The quality of air declines because of the exhaust fumes generated by cars which may result in severe health problems such as asthma, bronchitis and heart attacks. The waste of time on average is huge and this is another major drawback the bad traffic is causing. Overall, traffic is mainly caused by overpopulation and people’s reliance on their own cars. If governments provide more facilities and encourage people to use public transport, I am sure that the level of traffic will decline in the near future.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise reference Original: effects of it Suggested revision: its effects Why it matters: The possessive form is more concise and natural in this context.
- 2. Use formal wording Original: pretty Suggested revision: relatively Why it matters: 'Relatively easy' is more appropriate for the formal register of an academic essay.
- 3. Choose precise verb Original: have Suggested revision: own Why it matters: 'Own' precisely expresses car possession in this context.
- 4. Fix clause agreement Original: cars which result Suggested revision: cars, which results Why it matters: The relative clause refers to the whole preceding situation, so it needs a comma and singular 'results'.
- 5. Use uncountable noun Original: transports Suggested revision: transport Why it matters: 'Public transport' is uncountable when referring to the system generally.
- 6. Add definite article Original: and bus system Suggested revision: and the bus system Why it matters: The specific bus system in Tehran requires the definite article.
- 7. Fix time collocation Original: in rush hours Suggested revision: during rush hour Why it matters: 'During rush hour' is the standard time expression in this context.
- 8. Fix generic plural Original: city Suggested revision: cities Why it matters: The general reference to urban areas requires the plural noun 'cities'.
- 9. Set off relative clause Original: cars which may result Suggested revision: cars, which may result Why it matters: The non-defining relative clause adds information about the fumes and should be preceded by a comma.
- 10. Use broader road term Original: street Suggested revision: roads Why it matters: 'Roads' is the more natural general term when describing citywide traffic conditions.
- 11. Use natural quantity phrase Original: high Suggested revision: large Why it matters: 'A large number' is the standard collocation for a high count of vehicles.
- 12. Fix noun phrase Original: in the increase of traffic congestion Suggested revision: an increase in traffic congestion Why it matters: The result construction requires the article 'an' and the preposition 'in'.
Suggested Rewrites
- effects of it its effects
- pretty relatively
- have own
- cars which result cars, which results
- transports transport
- and bus system and the bus system
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both causes and effects directly, using a clear structure and relevant explanations such as inadequate public transport and pollution-related illness. The main weakness is occasional imprecision, including an undeveloped reference to overpopulation in the conclusion and several awkward language choices; the priority is to keep the conclusion aligned with the developed causes and refine article, agreement, and collocation control.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the question are covered with several relevant causes and effects that are generally extended through explanation or examples.
Ensure the conclusion summarises only causes established in the body, or explicitly develop overpopulation before introducing it there.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into causes and effects, and cohesive devices guide the reader clearly despite some formulaic sequencing.
Strengthen connections between related points so that progression relies less on repeated labels such as another factor or effect.
Lexical Resource
A varied vocabulary communicates the topic effectively, with occasional inaccurate forms or collocations such as public transports and feasible effect.
Check countability and choose more natural topic collocations, particularly public transport, road network, and harmful environmental effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a good range of complex structures with frequent clear sentences, although article and agreement errors recur.
Edit noun phrases and relative clauses carefully, especially for missing articles and agreement between plural subjects and verbs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.