The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. What are your views on this issue?
Sample Response
Transportation is one of the human tools of development. That is why all countries are concerned about that topic and support research and initiatives in this field. The quality of transportation of individuals and goods affects strongly on economic growth. That article focuses on individual transportation and how transportation modes have been changing trough years from 1888 to 2000. At the end of the 19th century, there were few transport forms and all of them were simple with very slow speed except cars. Number of cars in that time period was not so high to extend that caused traffic, fuel or environmental problems. Therefore there was no motivation to invent innovative transport systems and modes. With the passage of time from 19thcentury until now, transportation demands and needs have been greatly increased. The dramatic increase in the numbers of cars, especially in the last three or four decades, forces all states to establish bridges, tunnels, highways etc. These different kinds of infrastructures and superstructures have extremely high costs. Such costs affect the state budget and lead to undesirable cuts of education, health and other services’ share in the annual budget. As those sectors are so vital, essential and cannot be cut for the sake of the transportation sector, stakeholders started thinking about new transport planning concepts and strategies which contribute to solving all transportation-related problems. Those problems are economical, environmental and social problems. Most of the experts in the field of ‘Urban Planning and Transportation’ admit that the decreasing number of private cars is the best effective way to solve all the previously mentioned problems. There are many ideas which can help reduce private cars in the streets like public transportation, carpooling, and encouraging bicycles as transport modes. It requires many actions and promotion to convince people to leave their own cars and use such alternative modes. These actions can be: improving public transportation, providing a discount on bicycles, giving priority to public transportation through special bus lanes and raising fuel prices etc. In summary, the whole world should encourage alternative modes and forms of transportation to compete with the traditional mode which is private cars. That will make our mother Earth greener and a better place to live in.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural noun phrase Original: human tools of development Suggested revision: tools for human development Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the relationship between transportation and development more naturally.
- 2. More precise reference Original: concerned about that topic Suggested revision: concerned with this issue Why it matters: This wording refers more directly and formally to the transport issue under discussion.
- 3. Correct verb pattern Original: affects strongly on economic growth Suggested revision: strongly affects economic growth Why it matters: The transitive verb 'affects' takes a direct object without 'on', and the adverb is better placed before it.
- 4. Correct text reference Original: That article Suggested revision: This essay Why it matters: The response should refer to itself as an essay rather than an unspecified article.
- 5. Fix spelling and phrasing Original: changing trough years Suggested revision: changing over the years Why it matters: 'Trough' is a spelling error here, and 'over the years' is the natural time expression.
- 6. Repair coordination Original: simple with very slow speed Suggested revision: simple and very slow Why it matters: The coordinated adjectives require 'and' rather than the preposition 'with'.
- 7. Add definite article Original: Number of cars Suggested revision: The number of cars Why it matters: A definite article is required before this specific count noun phrase.
- 8. Correct result structure Original: not so high to extend that caused Suggested revision: not high enough to cause Why it matters: The 'enough to' structure correctly expresses that the number did not reach a problem-causing level.
- 9. Restore article and spacing Original: 19thcentury Suggested revision: the 19th century Why it matters: The century reference needs the definite article and a space between the ordinal and noun.
- 10. Remove redundancy Original: transportation demands and needs Suggested revision: demand for transportation Why it matters: 'Demands' and 'needs' repeat the same idea, so one precise phrase is clearer.
- 11. Use singular number Original: numbers of cars Suggested revision: number of cars Why it matters: When referring to the total quantity of cars, 'number' is singular.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: establish bridges Suggested revision: build bridges Why it matters: English normally uses 'build' rather than 'establish' with physical infrastructure such as bridges.
Suggested Rewrites
- human tools of development tools for human development
- concerned about that topic concerned with this issue
- affects strongly on economic growth strongly affects economic growth
- That article This essay
- changing trough years changing over the years
- simple with very slow speed simple and very slow
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response presents a clear, relevant position in favour of reducing private-car use and develops useful reasons and practical alternatives, especially the budgetary impact of road infrastructure. However, it does not directly consider the proposed international laws, and its force is weakened by single-block organisation and frequent awkward grammar and collocations; the highest-priority improvement is to address every element of the question explicitly, then organise the argument into focused paragraphs with more controlled sentence forms.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response gives a clear supporting view and develops reasons and practical alternatives, but it largely omits the proposal for international laws controlling car ownership and use.
Address the international-law proposal directly and explain whether, how, and to what extent such controls should operate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses from context and costs to solutions and a conclusion, but the single-block structure and some mechanical linking reduce clarity.
Divide the discussion into focused paragraphs and use referencing and transitions more selectively to make the progression easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, including terms related to infrastructure and transport planning, but recurring inaccurate collocations limit precision.
Prioritise natural word combinations and precise forms, especially in phrases about economic effects, car numbers, and policy effectiveness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the main ideas, although frequent errors with articles, prepositions, agreement, and sentence phrasing reduce control.
Edit each complex sentence for accurate clause structure, articles, and prepositions, shortening sentences when grammatical control begins to weaken.