Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nature has blessed both men and women with individual characters, which set them apart. All these different characteristics enable them to do different tasks according to their affinities. Due to this, some people opine that it would be best for both sexes to involve themselves in those tasks which suit their personality and skill sets. Others, however, think that both are equal and can do each other’s job as efficiently as they can do their own. Therefore, let us analyse the task from both perspectives in order to reach to a relevant conclusion. To begin with, it can be said that both males and females have an individual set of characteristics, which enables them to perform well in certain tasks. For example, women are considered exceptionally good at taking care of the household activities and bringing up the children. As most of the women are kind, loving and caring by nature, they are best suited for this job. What is more, they are also seen as worthy of the job of taking care of household activities due to their creativity and organisational skills. Similarly, men also have some special traits attached with their personality. For instance, men are deemed to be strong, confident and decisive. These qualities make it possible for them to give excellent performance in areas such as earning bread and butter for the home and making decisions for the family. Apart from that, they can also support their families in emotional as well as security matters. However, even though both genders are best suited for the jobs mentioned above, we cannot ignore the changing trends, which are taking place in modern world. Nowadays, with the spread of education and equal rights, more and more women are breaking the barriers of their home in order to work outside. They can be seen placed at several important positions, from doctors to politicians and they are also performing better than the expectations of most of the people. In the same way, men are also indulging themselves in household tasks by looking after their children and doing household chores. Therefore, it cannot be said that both of the genders are best suitable to do only one type of work. Women are performing well in professions like teaching, nursing, marketing and those kinds of jobs suits their natural talents and skills. On the other hand, men can work in a crowd and in places where physical labour is required. In the ultimate analysis, it can be said that both men and women have been separated with individual qualities facilitating them with abilities to do several tasks. But, by looking at the current norms, it will be wrong to think that they cannot do each other’s job.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Wrong noun Original: individual characters Suggested revision: individual characteristics Why it matters: People have characteristics or traits, not 'characters' in this meaning.
- 2. Clearer wording Original: according to their affinities Suggested revision: according to their abilities Why it matters: 'Affinities' is vague and less natural here.
- 3. Concise relative clause Original: those tasks which suit Suggested revision: tasks that suit Why it matters: This is more direct and avoids unnecessary wording.
- 4. Plural form Original: can do each other’s job Suggested revision: can do one another's jobs Why it matters: The plural 'jobs' fits the general comparison between men and women.
- 5. Verb pattern Original: reach to a relevant conclusion Suggested revision: reach a relevant conclusion Why it matters: The verb 'reach' does not take 'to' here.
- 6. Agreement issue Original: an individual set of characteristics, which enables Suggested revision: individual sets of characteristics, which enable Why it matters: The subject refers to both males and females, so plural agreement is needed.
- 7. General plural Original: most of the women Suggested revision: most women Why it matters: Use no article when making a general statement.
- 8. Natural phrase Original: bringing up the children Suggested revision: raising children Why it matters: This is a concise and natural alternative.
- 9. Awkward collocation Original: worthy of the job of taking care Suggested revision: well suited to managing Why it matters: The original phrase is wordy and unnatural.
- 10. Preposition choice Original: attached with their personality Suggested revision: associated with their personalities Why it matters: Use 'associated with', and the plural noun is needed.
- 11. Natural collocation Original: give excellent performance Suggested revision: perform well Why it matters: This is the natural verb phrase.
- 12. Avoid idiom Original: earning bread and butter Suggested revision: earning a living Why it matters: The idiom sounds informal and dated in an academic essay.
Suggested Rewrites
- individual characters individual characteristics
- according to their affinities according to their abilities
- those tasks which suit tasks that suit
- can do each other’s job can do one another's jobs
- reach to a relevant conclusion reach a relevant conclusion
- an individual set of characteristics, which enables individual sets of characteristics, which enable
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay addresses the issue and reaches a broadly clear view that jobs should not be restricted by gender. However, the argument spends too long repeating stereotypes before qualifying them, so the position is not consistently developed.
State your disagreement more clearly in the introduction and use the first body paragraph to discuss perceived differences without presenting stereotypes as facts.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical overall progression from one view to the modern counterview, but paragraphing is absent in the prompt text and some transitions are formulaic.
Use clear paragraphs and make each topic sentence show whether it supports or challenges the idea of gender-specific jobs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary range is adequate and sometimes flexible, but there are awkward collocations such as 'individual characters', 'earning bread and butter', and 'indulging themselves'.
Prefer precise academic vocabulary: 'characteristics', 'abilities', 'domestic work', 'paid employment', and 'traditional gender roles'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted, but errors in agreement, prepositions, articles, and comparison forms occur regularly. Meaning remains mostly clear.
Check plural agreement and fixed patterns such as 'associated with', 'suitable for', and 'in the modern world'.