Most of us rely on newspapers as the primary source of news and information and newspapers have a great influence on us. Do you think newspapers have more positive or negative influence on us? Give your own opinion on the issue. Use your own experience or an example to support your idea.
Sample Response
Nowadays, the press is one of the leading sources of information for citizens. While it can have some drawbacks on communities’ beliefs, I personally believe that the positive consequences can be more obvious.
On the one hand, undoubtedly, newspapers have some negative impacts on individuals’ beliefs. Firstly, some unimportant news can be exaggerated. Some publishers, who work against a political party, may overstate its weaknesses via reports being published locally or even nationally. In this way, about nuclear talks between Iran and 5+1 countries, some opponents owing the press gave some negative implications about this negotiation that have been fundamentally unreal. In addition, the violation can be intensified. There is no any sufficient control on some inappropriate scenes being published in newspapers, making some age-groups to become more aggressive. In this way, a Californian teenager who read an article about the gun robbery in the local news committed similar crime after he read it.
On the other hand, the positive influences of newspapers cannot be discarded, and I agree that they have more numerous advantages on societies’ opinions. Firstly, citizens can become more familiar with the economic condition. Clearly, one of the best ways that civilians can understand the economists’ views is reading their articles in news. Knowing about inflation or recession, individuals can enhance their knowledge about how they can manage their finance or invest in some profitable stocks. Furthermore, news can raise people’s information about the climate condition. Apparently, the best source of data could be the weather reports, reported locally or nationally. If people did not have sufficient access to them, they would not have been informed accurately about some probable oncoming natural disasters. For instance, climate reports noticed millions of New Yorkers from a dreadful hurricane in 2013, through sending local announcements to their homes.
In conclusion, disadvantages of newspaper cannot be undeniable. However, the advantages can surpass them, and I believe that humans can escalate their economy and climate information by reading them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a natural collocation Original: drawbacks on communities’ beliefs Suggested revision: negative effects on public opinion Why it matters: Effects on public opinion is the natural phrase for newspapers shaping collective beliefs.
- 2. State the comparison clearly Original: positive consequences can be more obvious Suggested revision: positive effects are more significant Why it matters: More significant expresses the intended comparison of influence more precisely than more obvious.
- 3. Remove redundant signalling Original: On the one hand, undoubtedly, Suggested revision: On the one hand, Why it matters: The structural transition already signals the first side, so undoubtedly adds unnecessary interruption.
- 4. Use precise news terminology Original: unimportant news Suggested revision: minor stories Why it matters: Minor stories is a natural expression for low-importance news items.
- 5. Use a concise modifier Original: publishers, who work against a political party, Suggested revision: publishers opposed to a political party Why it matters: The restrictive modifier identifies which publishers are meant and does not need commas.
- 6. Simplify the passive phrase Original: via reports being published Suggested revision: through reports published Why it matters: The shorter participial phrase preserves the method without an unnecessary passive progressive.
- 7. Name the intended effect Original: the violation can be intensified Suggested revision: violent behaviour can be intensified Why it matters: Violation does not describe the aggression discussed in the following sentence.
- 8. Correct the negative determiner Original: There is no any sufficient control Suggested revision: There is insufficient control Why it matters: No any is an invalid determiner combination, while insufficient expresses the intended lack.
- 9. Use precise media wording Original: some inappropriate scenes Suggested revision: inappropriate images Why it matters: Images is a clearer noun for visual material printed in newspapers.
- 10. Correct the causative structure Original: making some age-groups to become Suggested revision: causing some age groups to become Why it matters: Causing takes an object plus to become, and age groups is not hyphenated as a noun.
- 11. Express influence naturally Original: more numerous advantages on societies’ opinions Suggested revision: a greater positive influence on public opinion Why it matters: The revised collocation clearly describes a stronger beneficial effect on society.
- 12. Use the plural context Original: the economic condition Suggested revision: economic conditions Why it matters: The plural commonly describes the state of an economy across several indicators.
Suggested Rewrites
- drawbacks on communities’ beliefs negative effects on public opinion
- positive consequences can be more obvious positive effects are more significant
- On the one hand, undoubtedly, On the one hand,
- unimportant news minor stories
- publishers, who work against a political party, publishers opposed to a political party
- via reports being published through reports published
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay maintains a clear view that newspapers have the greater positive influence and supports both sides with relevant political, economic, and weather-related examples. Its main limitation is precision: several examples are expressed unclearly, and frequent unnatural word choices and grammatical errors sometimes obscure the intended causal link. Prioritise stating each example in direct language and verifying the exact verb, article, and noun combination used.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear throughout, and both negative and positive influences are extended with relevant reasons and examples, though some support is insufficiently credible or precise.
Make each example verifiable and explain its causal link to newspaper influence instead of relying on an asserted event.
Coherence and Cohesion
The opposing-view structure and focused body paragraphs provide clear progression, but repeated signposts and occasionally vague references weaken local cohesion.
Replace repeated phrases such as 'In this way' with explicit links naming how the preceding example supports the claim.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a broad range of relevant vocabulary, but frequent collocational errors such as 'raise people's information' and 'reports noticed millions' reduce precision.
Use natural verb-noun combinations such as 'increase people's awareness' and 'weather reports warned millions'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted regularly, but errors with articles, complements, agreement, and conditionals recur and sometimes strain clarity.
Correct patterns such as 'there is no sufficient control', 'causing groups to become', and 'committed a similar crime'.
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