It is often cited that “Not everything that is learned is contained in books”. According to many, we learn most of the things from our own experience while others believe that books are our main source of knowledge. Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gained from books. In your opinion, which source is more important? Why?
Sample Response
Knowledge is a very important aspect of our daily lives. Its application helps us go through life with fewer hitches. As the saying goes, “knowledge is power”. Therefore, in our society, today, the most knowledgeable person is considered to be the most powerful. Knowledge can be obtained from life experiences or from reading books. In my opinion, one cannot depend on either of the two in isolation. The best is to make use of both at times of need. First and foremost, before an individual is able to read and write, one must obtain knowledge through life experiences. For example, children begin to learn right from the day they are born. A child learns how to sit, stand, develop a sense to distinguish the right from the wrong and so on. This learning experience is necessary for the child’s development. Secondly, as the child grows, he/she develops qualities such as compassion, empathy, friendliness and so on. These qualities are not learned in books but can only be obtained through life experiences. On the other hand, formal education is obtained by attending classes and reading books. This aspect of learning is equally important for an individual’s future career. For instance, as a doctor, I am only able to keep myself updated by reading up on various changes on diagnosis and management of various diseases so as to offer my patients comprehensive care. In conclusion, knowledge learned from life experiences is as important as knowledge acquired from reading books. The former helps one develop certain human characteristics which are informal whereas the latter helps one achieve a target career goal.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct subject Original: Its application Suggested revision: Applying it Why it matters: Applying it refers to knowledge more directly and naturally than the abstract noun application.
- 2. Choose precise wording Original: go through life Suggested revision: navigate life Why it matters: Navigate life is a more concise expression for dealing with life's situations.
- 3. Use formal wording Original: fewer hitches Suggested revision: fewer difficulties Why it matters: Difficulties is more precise and suitably formal in this context.
- 4. Name the reference Original: either of the two Suggested revision: either source Why it matters: Either source states the reference more clearly and concisely.
- 5. Complete the noun phrase Original: The best is Suggested revision: The best approach is Why it matters: Adding approach gives the adjective best the noun needed for a complete subject.
- 6. Make wording concise Original: at times of need Suggested revision: as needed Why it matters: As needed conveys the same idea more directly.
- 7. Remove unnecessary emphasis Original: right from the day Suggested revision: from the day Why it matters: Right adds unnecessary emphasis without changing the meaning.
- 8. Correct the construction Original: develop a sense to distinguish Suggested revision: develop the ability to distinguish Why it matters: Ability to distinguish is the idiomatic grammatical construction for this skill.
- 9. Use the standard phrase Original: the right from the wrong Suggested revision: right from wrong Why it matters: Right from wrong is the established expression and does not require articles.
- 10. Use a smooth pronoun Original: he/she Suggested revision: they Why it matters: Singular they provides a natural gender-neutral reference to the child.
- 11. Remove vague extension Original: friendliness and so on Suggested revision: and friendliness Why it matters: A closed list is clearer than the vague filler and so on.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: can only be obtained through life experiences Suggested revision: can only be developed through life experience Why it matters: Qualities are normally developed rather than obtained, and experience is natural as an uncountable noun here.
Suggested Rewrites
- Its application Applying it
- go through life navigate life
- fewer hitches fewer difficulties
- either of the two either source
- The best is The best approach is
- at times of need as needed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear, defensible view that experience and books are equally important, and relevant examples distinguish personal development from professional learning. However, the comparison remains somewhat general, the book-based side receives less development, and presenting the entire essay as one paragraph weakens organisation. Develop the contrast more evenly and divide the argument into purposeful paragraphs with clearer comparative links.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
All parts of the task are addressed with a clear balanced position, though the comparison and justification are not fully developed.
Develop the book-based source in equal depth and compare the strengths and limitations of both sources more directly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a broadly clear sequence, but the lack of paragraphing makes the progression less effective than it could be.
Separate the introduction, each main source of knowledge, and the conclusion into distinct paragraphs linked by explicit comparison.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of topic vocabulary, with some repetition and occasional awkward word combinations.
Use more precise comparative language and avoid repeatedly relying on broad terms such as knowledge and important.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is handled with generally good control, and errors rarely interfere with meaning.
Refine punctuation and pronoun consistency, particularly when shifting between an individual, one, and children.