As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?
Sample Response
Since the majority of adults spend a considerable amount of their time at work, job satisfaction has become instrumental in the well-being of an individual. This essay will first discuss what elements contribute to job satisfaction, and it will then address the question of how likely it is that everyone will be happy with their jobs. The two most important things that lead to someone being satisfied at work are being treated with respect by managers and being compensated fairly. If those who are senior to individual respect them as a person and value their contribution at work then this will elate the person and make them feel valued. Fair compensation is also an important consideration because feeling underpaid can cause people to resent their bosses or look for another job. According to a recent survey by online job search website Monster.com, these two factors came on top where almost 80% agree that they would stick to their respective job roles if valued by managers and offered fair remuneration. With regards to the second question, it is unlikely that all workers can experience content with their career. The majority of people fail to reach their goal and as a result, end up taking a post they really do not care about in return for a salary. The money earned is just enough to pay their living expenses which often means they go through periods of discontentment. For example, a poll conducted by the Guardian.com states that 70% of the people would leave their current job if it were not for the money. To conclude, being content with one’s career can have a profound impact on a person's well-being, and being paid fairly can maximise their sense of self-worth; however, job satisfaction for all workers is an unrealistic hope.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Missing article Original: those who are senior to individual Suggested revision: those who are senior to an individual Why it matters: The singular noun needs an article.
- 2. Number agreement Original: respect them as a person Suggested revision: respect them as people Why it matters: The plural pronoun them should match a plural noun.
- 3. Comma after clause Original: then this will elate the person Suggested revision: , then this will elate the person Why it matters: A comma helps separate the condition from the result.
- 4. Wrong collocation Original: came on top Suggested revision: came out on top Why it matters: This is the idiomatic phrase for survey ranking.
- 5. Reported result Original: 80% agree Suggested revision: 80% agreed Why it matters: Past tense fits a completed survey.
- 6. Concise phrase Original: stick to their respective job roles Suggested revision: stay in their jobs Why it matters: The original phrase is wordy and slightly formal.
- 7. Set phrase Original: With regards to Suggested revision: With regard to Why it matters: The standard expression is with regard to.
- 8. Adjective form Original: experience content with their career Suggested revision: feel content with their careers Why it matters: Content is an adjective and needs a verb such as feel.
- 9. Overgeneralisation Original: The majority of people fail to reach their goal Suggested revision: Many people may not reach their career goals Why it matters: A less absolute claim is easier to support.
- 10. Natural phrase Original: in return for a salary Suggested revision: mainly for a salary Why it matters: This better expresses the reason for accepting the job.
- 11. Final link Original: To conclude Suggested revision: In conclusion Why it matters: This is the more common formal closing marker.
- 12. Avoid template wording Original: This essay will first discuss Suggested revision: The main contributors are respect and fair pay, but satisfaction for every worker is unlikely. Why it matters: A direct thesis is stronger than announcing what the essay will do.
Suggested Rewrites
- those who are senior to individual those who are senior to an individual
- respect them as a person respect them as people
- then this will elate the person , then this will elate the person
- came on top came out on top
- 80% agree 80% agreed
- stick to their respective job roles stay in their jobs
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response fully answers both questions, identifies respect and fair pay as key factors, and gives a clear view that universal job satisfaction is unrealistic. Development is relevant, though some support relies on broad survey claims rather than deeper explanation.
Develop one factor in more depth by explaining how it affects motivation, retention, or wellbeing before moving to the next idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear sequence from introduction to factors, realism, and conclusion. Cohesion is generally effective, but several links are mechanical and the long body paragraph would read better if divided by function.
Separate the two task questions into distinct body paragraphs and use topic sentences that directly mirror the two questions.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally flexible, with useful phrases such as compensated fairly, resent their bosses, and periods of discontentment. A few word choices and collocations are unnatural.
Edit high-value collocations, especially around job roles, contentment, and survey reporting, so the style stays natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of structures is used and errors rarely block meaning. There are still recurring issues with agreement, prepositions, and clause punctuation.
Check every complex sentence for subject-verb agreement and add commas where dependent clauses join main clauses.