Many old buildings protected by law are part of a nation’s history. Some people think they should be knocked down and replaced by news ones. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
Sample Response
It is a fact that some governments are preserving many historical buildings these days. A group of people believe that protecting these old buildings is considered as a waste of money, as they should be demolished and replaced with new buildings. I personally believe that maintaining an old building is essential, since the building has a lot of historical values, and it would be unique to see cities that combined the modern and historical buildings together.
It is believed that protecting some historical buildings is important since they have historical values. Many of the buildings had become the witnesses of some special or tragic moments of a particular country, therefore it should be preserved. One of the examples would be the Fatahilah Museum in Central Jakarta, Indonesia. It is an old building that was erected during the Dutch colonial era in the 18th century and formerly used as a prison to punish the rebellion. Now, it is maintained by the Government as a museum to commemorate the people who had sacrificed their life for the independence of Indonesia.
Some cities are still protecting their historical buildings, though new high rise buildings are showing up in the surrounding area. The historical buildings are maintained by the state government and they are standing along with the new skyscrapers. Many people believe that the combination of these old and modern buildings have made the city become fascinating and attractive. As a result, they become one of the tourist destination places. Some of the cities that have preserved them would be Beijing, London and Paris, and more than thousands of people have visited these metropolis cities.
In conclusion, retaining the historical buildings is definitely an important thing, because they had become eye-witnesses of some important events. And it is a fact that combination of old and modern buildings brings a lot of benefits for the city and the country as well.
Topic: Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect preposition Original: is considered as a waste Suggested revision: is considered a waste Why it matters: Considered takes a direct complement here without as.
- 2. Use uncountable value Original: a lot of historical values Suggested revision: great historical value Why it matters: Historical value is normally uncountable when referring to a building's significance.
- 3. Correct verb tense Original: cities that combined Suggested revision: cities that combine Why it matters: The present tense is needed for the general type of city being described.
- 4. Remove redundant wording Original: the modern and historical buildings together Suggested revision: modern and historical buildings Why it matters: Combine already expresses the idea conveyed by together.
- 5. Use uncountable value Original: they have historical values Suggested revision: they have historical value Why it matters: Value is uncountable when it means historical significance.
- 6. Use active perfect form Original: had become the witnesses Suggested revision: have witnessed Why it matters: The present perfect active form expresses the buildings' continuing historical role more naturally.
- 7. Fix comma splice Original: a particular country, therefore it should be preserved Suggested revision: a particular country; therefore, they should be preserved Why it matters: A semicolon separates the independent clauses, and the plural pronoun agrees with buildings.
- 8. Use concise example phrase Original: One of the examples Suggested revision: One example Why it matters: One example expresses the same meaning more directly.
- 9. Add passive auxiliary Original: formerly used Suggested revision: was formerly used Why it matters: The passive construction requires the auxiliary was.
- 10. Correct the object Original: punish the rebellion Suggested revision: punish rebels Why it matters: People can be punished, whereas a rebellion is an event rather than a prisoner.
- 11. Use lowercase common noun Original: government Suggested revision: government Why it matters: Government is a common noun in this context and does not require capitalization.
- 12. Use plural noun Original: their life Suggested revision: their lives Why it matters: The plural possessive their refers to multiple people's individual lives.
Suggested Rewrites
- is considered as a waste is considered a waste
- a lot of historical values great historical value
- cities that combined cities that combine
- the modern and historical buildings together modern and historical buildings
- they have historical values they have historical value
- had become the witnesses have witnessed
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear case for preserving historic buildings and supports it with a specific museum example and the idea that old and new architecture can coexist. However, the question of whether history should obstruct progress is answered mostly by implication, and the duplicated task wording after the conclusion disrupts the finish. Develop the trade-off between preservation and modern needs directly, then remove copied prompt material.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
A clear position and relevant examples address the importance of preservation, while the progress question receives less direct development.
Explain explicitly when preservation should yield to housing or infrastructure needs and justify the proposed balance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main paragraphs follow a logical progression, though some linking is mechanical and the appended prompt repetition breaks coherence.
End with the conclusion and use clearer internal links between historical value, coexistence, and the broader idea of progress.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, but recurring collocational and word-form problems reduce precision.
Improve combinations such as 'historical value', 'tourist destinations', and 'metropolitan cities' while reducing repeated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted and meaning remains clear, but agreement, articles, tense, and sentence-boundary errors recur throughout.
Prioritise subject-verb and pronoun agreement, particularly where plural buildings are followed by singular verbs or references.