Computer games have become widely popular and people spend a lot of time playing them. What are the negatives and positives of playing computer games and what can be done to reduce the bad effect?
Sample Response
Computers are now commonplaceComputers today are most common and computer gamingtheir gaming aspect is extremely popular among teenagersa cult among the teenagers. Computer games are considered to have numerous bad effects, but I think if used in moderation they can be used as an effective tool for learning and development.
Computer games are consideredconsidered as a social evil in societyin the society as they are associated with the stigma of wasting timedogma of time-wasting for school going students. To some extent, that may be true, butthat may be true but everything about these games is not negative. Computer games help younger children to develop good hand-eye coordination which is crucial in their early stages. They are also full of fantasies which eventually help to developaid in developing children's brainschildren' brains to be more imaginative and innovative.
On the other hand, spending a long time on the computer not only wastes valuable time but also renders users physically inactive. Health hazards associated withto this mainly includeincludes obesity, poor eyesightweak eyes, lower back problems and so on. Apart from this, cognitive development, which is critical during childhood, tends to suffergo for toss because of growing addictionthanks to increased addiction to gaming. These problems are a cause of concern among parents.
To curb their negative aspects, parents should keep strict control over the time children are exposed to these games and should promote engagement in physical and brain games. In fact, game producing companies have also realised this and have started preparing gaming consoles which involve more physical movement, suggesting that everyone is doing their bit to promote the positive aspects of this innovation.
To conclude, there are always two sides associated with everything: one affirmative and the other negative. It all comes down to how you want to utilise the potential of any innovation.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response covers benefits, harms, and practical ways to limit gaming's negative effects, and its paragraph sequence makes the argument easy to follow. The main weakness is imprecise language, including several strained collocations and recurring grammatical slips; the priority is to replace these expressions with natural academic wording while developing the proposed solutions more specifically.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses all three requirements with relevant ideas, though some benefits and solutions are only briefly explained.
Explain how the proposed limits and alternative activities would reduce the identified harms, using one specific example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear progression from benefits to harms and solutions, with generally effective paragraphing and linking.
Make the conclusion directly synthesise the main findings and recommended action instead of ending with a broad generalisation.
Lexical Resource
The writer shows useful range, but frequent awkward collocations and inaccurate word choices sometimes distract from otherwise clear meaning.
Use more natural alternatives for phrases such as gaming aspect is a cult, weak eyes, and preparing gaming consoles.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are attempted with some success, but errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and possessives recur across the response.
Proofread noun phrases and verb agreement carefully, especially plural subjects, possessive forms, and fixed preposition patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Computer games have become widely popular and people spend a lot of time playing them. What are the negatives and positives of playing computer games and what can be done to reduce the bad effect?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.