The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on the British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. What are your views on this issue?

Sample Response

Modern life is almost impossible without motorised transportation and people are to move so frequently that they always want to own cars. In fact, transportation has become one of the most important parts and parcels of our lives. As the number of population is increasing day by day, so do their demands and needs for modern transportation facilities and that is why the number of vehicles has increased rapidly all over the world. However, for the last few years, air pollution has reached an intolerable level and it is the motorised vehicles that have been creating this acute problem with other factors. Currently, almost 58 million vehicles are running alone on the roads of Britain and day by day this number will increase geometrically. In fact, the problem began with the rapid development and growth of the cities and because of the increasing demand of people and it is badly needed to control it for our own benefits. It is true that with the development of the civilisation, the number of cars has increased on the streets and resulting air pollution, accidents, scarcity of fuels, sound pollution, and so on. But we can not avoid or cut off cars from our life overnight because life today has become hasty enough with routine work, office jobs, travelling, holiday activities, amusement etc. and without cars, it would be more troublesome. Therefore I believe that it is important to control the use of cars and to introduce an alternative form of the transportation system as well. Increasing the price of the fuel might be a solution as it will discourage people to drive cars so frequently and for those who are settling their mind to buy a new car. Cars emit Carbon dioxide, Carbon-Mono-Oxide and other harmful chemicals which are dangerous for the environment as well as for public health. To reduce the use of cars, we can introduce some alternative transportation systems like the underground railway, city coach service, train service, subtle train etc. If the transports are easily available and comfortable, people will be encouraged to use those to reduce the cost of owning private cars. Some non-motorized vehicles such as bicycles and rickshaws can be the substitute for the motorised vehicles. Once people are aware of the effects of global warming and air pollution, they will definitely use those forms of transportations for their own betterment. Those vehicles are environment-friendly and in some countries, people have already started using bicycles instead of cars, for example, China. If we can introduce river-based cheap and user-friendly transports and try to make them favourite among people, then it will be definitely helpful for the environment. This type of river-based transportation system has been already introduced in countries like Brazil. On the other hand, introducing a new law to regulate car ownership is also important. If there were an existing rule that any family cannot buy more than one car, the rapid increase of the car could have been controlled. Besides, the government should introduce a heavy tax on purchasing cars. In summary, increasing use of cars and fuels is an acute problem for all of us. This problem can only be solved by introducing a new form of cheap and comfortable transports and by enforcing and introducing new strict laws. Otherwise, life in cities will become tougher with traffic jam and serious air pollution.

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Fix verb construction Original: people are to move so frequently Suggested revision: people need to move so frequently Why it matters: The original construction does not express necessity naturally.
  • 2. Fix fixed expression Original: parts and parcels of our lives Suggested revision: parts of our lives Why it matters: The fixed expression is singular, so this plural form is inaccurate here.
  • 3. Use correct noun phrase Original: number of population Suggested revision: population Why it matters: Population is used directly rather than with number of.
  • 4. Fix parallel clause Original: so do their demands and needs Suggested revision: their demands and needs are also increasing Why it matters: The inversion does not agree logically with the preceding singular subject.
  • 5. Clarify contribution Original: with other factors Suggested revision: alongside other factors Why it matters: Alongside expresses that vehicles and other factors contribute together.
  • 6. Place modifier correctly Original: vehicles are running alone Suggested revision: vehicles alone are running Why it matters: Alone should modify vehicles rather than the manner in which they run.
  • 7. Use precise growth term Original: increase geometrically Suggested revision: increase rapidly Why it matters: Rapidly communicates the intended rise without an unsupported mathematical implication.
  • 8. Use singular benefit Original: for our own benefits Suggested revision: for our own benefit Why it matters: Benefit is normally singular in this fixed phrase.
  • 9. Complete verb pattern Original: and resulting air pollution Suggested revision: resulting in air pollution Why it matters: Result requires the preposition in before its consequence.
  • 10. Use natural collocation Original: cut off cars from our life Suggested revision: eliminate cars from our lives Why it matters: Cut off cars is not a natural collocation for removing their use.
  • 11. Remove unnecessary article Original: the fuel Suggested revision: fuel Why it matters: Fuel is used generally here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
  • 12. Use natural phrasing Original: settling their mind Suggested revision: planning Why it matters: The original expression is not idiomatic for intending to buy something.

Suggested Rewrites

  • people are to move so frequently people need to move so frequently
  • parts and parcels of our lives parts of our lives
  • number of population population
  • so do their demands and needs their demands and needs are also increasing
  • with other factors alongside other factors
  • vehicles are running alone vehicles alone are running
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 6.5

Your response takes a clear, balanced position and offers a substantial range of relevant measures, including improved public transport, taxation and ownership controls. Its main limitation is that several points are repeated or asserted with limited precision, while awkward phrasing sometimes weakens otherwise clear ideas. Prioritise a tighter paragraph structure, develop fewer solutions more fully, and use more natural collocations and controlled sentence forms.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TR

Task Response

7.0
Feedback

The response clearly supports transport alternatives and ownership controls with several relevant reasons and proposed measures.

Next step

Develop fewer solutions more deeply by explaining their practical effects instead of repeating the pollution problem.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.0
Feedback

Ideas follow a broadly logical sequence, but the single extended block and repeated linking reduce structural clarity.

Next step

Divide the argument into focused paragraphs with one controlling idea and a clear progression in each.

LR

Lexical Resource

6.0
Feedback

There is enough vocabulary to discuss transport and environmental policy, although inaccurate collocations and word forms recur.

Next step

Replace awkward phrases with precise natural combinations, especially when describing public transport, population growth and car use.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0
Feedback

A mix of simple and complex forms communicates the main meaning, but agreement, article and sentence-structure errors are frequent.

Next step

Use shorter controlled complex sentences and proofread systematically for articles, plurals and subject-verb agreement.