The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
Technology is increasingly being used throughout the world. Thus it is apparent in classrooms as well. It is quite unrealistic that technology will replace teachers in future. This will be proven by analysing how teachers can cater to student needs as well as motivate and discipline them in the classroom. An Important factor in teaching is the ability of teachers to shape teaching style as per the students’ requirement. As an example, if a student does not understand any of the topics being taught in the classroom, the teacher can make them understand by rephrasing the topic. The computerised teacher will not be able to understand what the students require and thus technology will not replace teachers. Motivation and discipline are key factors in teaching for any student's academic success. This is very important in classrooms as the children need to be taught motivation and discipline very effectively. A teacher only could do this when the student requires it. A computer-based teacher will not be able to accomplish this as there is a judgment needed to understand if the student is acting in an inappropriate manner which teacher could do. Hence it is clear that students need teachers. Following the analysis of the ability of teachers catering as well as motivation and discipline to the students, it is clear that teachers are always needed in the classroom for student's success and hence technology will never replace them. In future technology will be used in the classroom by the students, but it will not take over the classroom.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add comma Original: Thus it is apparent Suggested revision: Thus, it is apparent Why it matters: A comma after the introductory linker improves punctuation.
- 2. Add article Original: in future Suggested revision: in the future Why it matters: This is the standard phrase in this context.
- 3. Lowercase adjective Original: An Important factor Suggested revision: An important factor Why it matters: Important should not be capitalised mid-sentence.
- 4. Natural collocation Original: shape teaching style Suggested revision: adapt their teaching style Why it matters: Teachers adapt a teaching style to students' needs.
- 5. Natural phrase Original: as per the students’ requirement Suggested revision: according to students' needs Why it matters: This is clearer and more natural.
- 6. Singular context Original: any of the topics Suggested revision: a topic Why it matters: The example is about one topic a student does not understand.
- 7. Natural phrase Original: make them understand Suggested revision: help them understand it Why it matters: Help someone understand is more natural than make them understand.
- 8. Word order Original: A teacher only could do this Suggested revision: Only a teacher could do this Why it matters: Only should come before the noun phrase here.
- 9. Natural structure Original: there is a judgment needed Suggested revision: judgement is needed Why it matters: The passive noun structure is cleaner and more natural.
- 10. Add article Original: which teacher could do Suggested revision: which a teacher could do Why it matters: Teacher is a singular countable noun here.
- 11. Parallel structure Original: teachers catering as well as motivation and discipline Suggested revision: teachers' ability to cater to students' needs, motivate them, and discipline them Why it matters: The listed ideas need parallel grammatical form.
- 12. Plural possessive Original: for student's success Suggested revision: for students' success Why it matters: The essay refers to students in general.
Suggested Rewrites
- Thus it is apparent Thus, it is apparent
- in future in the future
- An Important factor An important factor
- shape teaching style adapt their teaching style
- as per the students’ requirement according to students' needs
- any of the topics a topic
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay clearly disagrees with the claim and gives relevant reasons: teachers adapt explanations, motivate students, and maintain discipline. The ideas are valid, but some development is repetitive and examples remain general.
Develop each reason with a specific classroom example, such as a struggling learner needing a different explanation or a disruptive student needing human judgement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a logical sequence, but it is written as one block with no paragraph separation. Cohesive links are present, yet the body points would be clearer if separated.
Use one introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion so adaptation and discipline are clearly separate reasons.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for education and technology, including cater, motivate, discipline, and academic success. Some phrases are unnatural or repetitive.
Use natural education phrases such as adapt teaching methods, respond to students' needs, maintain discipline, and support academic success.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but there are frequent errors with articles, word order, prepositions, and relative clauses. Sentence control weakens in the second half of the essay.
Shorten complex sentences and check article use before singular nouns such as teacher, student, and classroom.