Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree with this opinion? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?
Sample Response
DeleteAs we know there are many professions and jobs around us and workers are paid according to their occupational categorybased on its category workers are paid for that. DeleteWhereas a worker can be skilled atefficient in one or two jobs but would not be able to do all types of jobs. People who are efficient in their workworks, for example, doctors, nurses, teachers, and actors play important roles in our day to day life.
Though they are the backbone of our society and are involved in life-saving activities and educating others but they are paid much lessvery less paid for the workworks they do. The average income for a high school teacher every month in India is Rs 15,00015000Rs. A medical practitioner gets a salary of Rs 25,00025000Rs every month. Hence, ifHence if we compare the average income of these professionals with that of a film actor or another celebritywith a film actor or any celebrity, it's almost negligible.
Moreover, professionals like actors are not involved in physically and mentally demanding workphysical and mental work. They just entertain people and charge crores for each assignment which creates inequality in the workplacebrings discrimination in work and divides society into multiple classes; for example, the lower, middle, and upper classesfor example lower, middle and upper class. Hence, poor people always remain inunder poverty which brings serious threats to a society like unemployment, robbery, illiteracy etc.
I understand that entertainment is also an important part of life, but we should define and divide the level of work as per salary, the effort given by someone and also how does it impact on someone's life. We should also think about the savings made by someone, it should not carry forward from generation to generation; everyone should be given a chance to grow and earn enough money to lead a good life. Differentiation based on earnings can bring many disasters and put us in soup.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response offers a generally understandable argument and uses concrete salary examples to support the view that socially important workers deserve more pay. However, its position is not stated precisely, the payment criteria are introduced only briefly, and several later claims drift into weakly supported discussion of poverty and inherited savings. The priority is to answer both questions explicitly, develop clear criteria, and connect each supporting point directly to them.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response generally supports higher pay for essential workers, but the degree of agreement and proposed payment criteria remain insufficiently explicit and developed.
State a precise position early and devote a focused paragraph to explaining and justifying two or three workable salary criteria.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing provides a basic progression, although links within and between ideas become loose when the discussion shifts to social class, crime, and inheritance.
Use a clear topic sentence for each question and remove tangential claims that do not advance that paragraph's central point.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to discuss employment and inequality, but recurrent awkward collocations and imprecise expressions reduce control.
Replace phrases such as very less paid, remain under poverty, and effort given with accurate, formal collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex forms, but frequent errors in clause construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation weaken accuracy.
Practise constructing complete complex sentences without double conjunctions and check pronoun agreement and article use during editing.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film actors or company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do. How far do you agree with this opinion? What criteria should be used to decide how much people are paid?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.