Should museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge, even a voluntary charge, be levied for admittance? Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.
Sample Response
People have argued about the entrance fee to museums and art galleries. Some people believe that it should be free of charged for the public, while others think that there should be an entrance fee. The following essay will explain these contradictory opinions in details, but in my point of view, I do believe that there should be levied for admittance.
For a number of reasons, many people believe that the public should not be charged with any kind of fee when they enter museums or art galleries. Firstly, these sites have been funded by the government through taxes that were paid by residents. When museums and art galleries charge entrance fees, it means that people are paying double charges. Secondly, although these places contain historical and artistic artefacts but these places are not popular and attractive places. When these museums and galleries charge some fees, it is predicted that there will be fewer people who will visit these places.
On the other hand, another group of people think that the public should be charged with either voluntary or admittance fees when they visit a museum or an art gallery. These people believe that by charging visitors with a certain amount of fees, it educates them to appreciate the value of history and arts. Besides that, these fees can be used to reduce subsidies that have been given by the government. The fund could be relocated by the government for other important matters such as education, public health or transportations.
In conclusion, people often debate about the entrance fee of museums or art galleries. Several people think that there should not be any charges for visitors, while others disagree. I personally believe that there should proportionate charges for people when they enter the museum or an art gallery, as the fund could be used to cover the operational expense of these places, and reduce the subsidy from the government.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix word form Original: free of charged Suggested revision: free of charge Why it matters: The fixed expression uses the noun 'charge', not the past participle.
- 2. Use singular form Original: in details Suggested revision: in detail Why it matters: The standard adverbial phrase is 'in detail'.
- 3. Use natural phrase Original: in my point of view Suggested revision: in my view Why it matters: 'In my view' is the idiomatic expression for introducing an opinion.
- 4. Add sentence subject Original: there should be levied for admittance Suggested revision: an admission fee should be levied Why it matters: The passive construction needs a clear noun phrase as its subject.
- 5. Remove wrong preposition Original: charged with any kind of fee Suggested revision: charged any fee Why it matters: The verb 'charge' takes the fee directly in this construction.
- 6. Clarify double payment Original: are paying double charges Suggested revision: are paying twice Why it matters: This phrasing clearly expresses that the public pays once through taxes and again at entry.
- 7. Fix double conjunction Original: although these places contain historical and artistic artefacts but Suggested revision: although these places contain historical and artistic artefacts, Why it matters: An 'although' clause should not also be joined with 'but'.
- 8. Use paired negatives Original: not popular and attractive places Suggested revision: neither popular nor attractive Why it matters: 'Neither...nor' makes both negative qualities grammatically clear.
- 9. Remove repetition Original: there will be fewer people who will visit Suggested revision: fewer people will visit Why it matters: The shorter clause avoids repeating 'will' without changing the meaning.
- 10. Fix count noun Original: a certain amount of fees Suggested revision: a certain fee Why it matters: 'Fee' is countable, so 'amount of fees' is unsuitable here.
- 11. Use uncountable art Original: history and arts Suggested revision: history and art Why it matters: 'Art' is normally uncountable when referring to the field generally.
- 12. Use formal connector Original: Besides that Suggested revision: In addition Why it matters: This connector more naturally introduces the additional funding point.
Suggested Rewrites
- free of charged free of charge
- in details in detail
- in my point of view in my view
- there should be levied for admittance an admission fee should be levied
- charged with any kind of fee charged any fee
- are paying double charges are paying twice
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response clearly discusses both positions and maintains a consistent preference for charging proportionate admission fees, with a sensible funding rationale. Its main limitation is that several supporting points remain general or only partly convincing, while frequent awkward phrasing and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop each argument with a specific, credible consequence and then edit sentences for complete structures and natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views and a clear opinion are presented, though some reasons are general or insufficiently convincing.
Extend each main point with a specific explanation or example that directly demonstrates its consequence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, but linking is sometimes mechanical or grammatically faulty.
Use cohesive phrases more selectively and ensure contrast clauses are joined with one correct structure.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a suitable range of topic vocabulary, but recurrent collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Check natural combinations such as admission fee, free of charge, and government funding during revision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted and meaning remains clear, although grammatical errors occur frequently.
Prioritise complete clause structures, article use, and accurate passive constructions when proofreading.