Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
In the contemporary world, the pathway to securing a good job is a subject of heated debate. Some advocate that practical experience and the development of soft skills outweigh the significance of completing a university education. Conversely, others believe that the traditional route of achieving a degree is pivotal for obtaining a promising career. Personally, I contend that completing a university education is the optimal means to secure a good job in the modern world due to its multifaceted benefits and broader career prospects.
Supporters of gaining experience and soft skills argue that practical knowledge acquired through work experience often proves more valuable in the professional sphere. By engaging in real-world scenarios, individuals can acquire critical competencies such as communication, problem-solving, and teamwork, which are perceived as essential in many workplaces. For example, an individual who has climbed the ranks in a company may possess substantial practical insights and networking connections, providing them with an edge in securing a job compared to fresh graduates.
Those who support a more traditional route to career success believe that while practical experience undeniably offers valuable insights, obtaining a university degree furnishes individuals with comprehensive knowledge and a strong educational foundation. University education not only imparts specialised knowledge but also instils analytical thinking, research abilities, and a deep understanding of a particular field. This comprehensive learning equips graduates with a broad spectrum of skills applicable across diverse industries, enhancing their adaptability and potential for career advancement. Moreover, in today's competitive job market, many employers prioritize candidates with formal qualifications. A university degree often acts as a prerequisite for entry into certain professions, thereby opening doors to a wider array of job opportunities.
In conclusion, while experience and soft skills hold value, the overarching benefits of university education, including specialised knowledge, critical thinking, and enhanced career prospects, make it the superior pathway to securing a rewarding job in the contemporary world.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct context Original: In the contemporary world Suggested revision: In today's job market Why it matters: This phrasing connects the opening more directly to the employment topic.
- 2. Simplify wording Original: the pathway to securing Suggested revision: the best route to securing Why it matters: This more direct phrase avoids an unnecessarily abstract construction.
- 3. Reduce formulaic language Original: a subject of heated debate Suggested revision: widely debated Why it matters: The concise alternative conveys the same idea with less formulaic wording.
- 4. Use natural reporting Original: advocate that Suggested revision: argue that Why it matters: Argue that is the more natural reporting pattern for presenting a viewpoint.
- 5. State comparison directly Original: outweigh the significance of Suggested revision: are more important than Why it matters: The revision expresses the comparison clearly without inflated wording.
- 6. Improve collocation Original: traditional route of achieving a degree Suggested revision: traditional path of earning a degree Why it matters: Earning a degree is a more natural collocation than achieving a degree.
- 7. Refine collocation Original: pivotal for obtaining Suggested revision: crucial to securing Why it matters: This combination is more idiomatic while preserving the original meaning.
- 8. Prefer plain wording Original: optimal means to secure Suggested revision: best way to secure Why it matters: The simpler phrase states the writer's view more naturally.
- 9. Avoid vague abstraction Original: multifaceted benefits Suggested revision: broad benefits Why it matters: Broad is clearer here because the specific benefits are developed later.
- 10. Use concrete noun Original: professional sphere Suggested revision: workplace Why it matters: Workplace is more direct and precise in this employment context.
- 11. Strengthen example link Suggested revision: Connect the company example more explicitly to the communication, problem-solving, and teamwork skills listed immediately before it. Why it matters: A clearer link would improve progression from the general claim to its illustration.
- 12. Separate the strands Suggested revision: Begin a new paragraph at “Moreover” so formal qualification requirements form a distinct supporting strand. Why it matters: The paragraph currently moves from educational skills to employer requirements without a visible structural break.
Suggested Rewrites
- In the contemporary world In today's job market
- the pathway to securing the best route to securing
- a subject of heated debate widely debated
- advocate that argue that
- outweigh the significance of are more important than
- traditional route of achieving a degree traditional path of earning a degree
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a clear position and develops both perspectives in a well-controlled, logically sequenced discussion, with the case for university education especially well elaborated. The main limitation is that the work-experience example is less convincing because someone who has already climbed a company’s ranks is not clearly comparable to a new job seeker. Strengthen that example and sharpen a few slightly formulaic expressions to make the argument more precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both views are directly addressed and the writer’s preference for university education is clear, sustained, and supported with relevant reasoning.
Replace the less convincing “climbed the ranks” example with a concrete case showing how experience or soft skills help someone obtain a good job.
Coherence and Cohesion
The discussion follows a clear progression, with well-focused paragraphs and cohesive links that guide the reader without becoming intrusive.
Make the transition into the university paragraph more explicitly comparative to sharpen the relationship between the two views.
Lexical Resource
The essay uses a broad and precise academic vocabulary flexibly, with only occasional slightly formulaic or less natural phrasing.
Prefer direct expressions over phrases such as “traditional route of achieving a degree” to make the style more natural and exact.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentence forms is used accurately, and the response is virtually free of grammatical errors.
Refine modifier placement in longer sentences so every comparison and qualification is immediately clear.
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