It is often difficult for young people to find a good job without previous work experience. Governments should encourage employers to choose young people when they need new workers. Do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is challenging indeed to get a reliable job as a fresher as the employers, in most casesin most of the cases, choose applicantspick the employees who have a work historya past history of work at reputable organisationsin reputed organisations and have relevant work experience. But this trend should be changed. I believeI support that the government should encourageinspire employers to hire young people when they need new workerspick youths in needs of new workers for the following reasons. First of all, a large number of educated youths are unemployed in different parts of the world. For instance, in my countryland, Pakistan, there are many educated young peoplethe number of educated youths is not few. A substantial number of highly educated youths are seeking jobs but not getting as the employers prefer the expert hands. They do not rely upon the unskilled fresh graduates. If this trend continues, the rate of unemployment will go beyond control shortly. Moreover, unless young people become involved inunless the young people are getting involved with any kind of workany sort of jobs or professions, they will not gain experiencethey will not get their experience. So, at least to help them gain experiencemake them experienced in a particular field, the employers should pick them. Salary is not a fact for the fresh graduates, they are in need of a job to prove their skills and get some ideas on professional life. There were no jobs for a fresher like me in Pakistan a couple of years ago. When I completed my graduation from the University of Karachi, it was really difficult for me to find a job. Almost all the job advertisements required applicants withhaving at least three years of professional experienceexperiences. If the authority fails to motivate companies to hire fresh graduates, many of them would become depressed and get involved in crimes. To conclude the topic, I think it is only the government who can intervene here to change the situation. Still, a large number of educated youths are seeking jobs. The scenario is almost the same around the world. If the youths are ignored in the job market, their moral degradation is a matter of time only. The corporations should make a balance while recruiting.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The essay states clear support for government action and develops relevant reasons around graduate unemployment, the need to gain experience, and the writer’s own job search. Its argument becomes repetitive and overgeneralised when it predicts crime and moral decline, while one-block organisation and frequent awkward grammar and collocation reduce control. Group the reasons into focused paragraphs, explain a realistic government measure, and edit sentences for natural employment vocabulary.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and supported with relevant unemployment, experience, and personal-example material, though some consequences are asserted too broadly and the proposed action is vague.
Explain one concrete way governments could encourage employers and show how it would help graduates gain experience without making unsupported social predictions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The reasons follow a broadly logical sequence, but the single paragraph, repeated unemployment claims, and abrupt shifts weaken progression.
Separate unemployment, experience-building, and policy action into distinct paragraphs and remove repeated statements from the conclusion.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate employment-related vocabulary, but many unnatural collocations such as ‘expert hands’, ‘salary is not a fact’, and ‘professional experiences’ limit precision.
Use standard phrases such as ‘experienced applicants’, ‘salary is not the priority’, and ‘professional experience’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is usually clear, but article, preposition, agreement, and clause-joining errors are frequent throughout the response.
Review sentence boundaries and noun phrases, especially articles and countability in references to employers, graduates, jobs, and experience.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is often difficult for young people to find a good job without previous work experience. Governments should encourage employers to choose young people when they need new workers. Do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.