The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
It is undeniable that technology has been increasingly used through the world and also applied in a wide range of field, and it is apparent in the classroom recently as well. In my opinion, it is not possible that technology will totally take the place of the role of traditional teachers in a classroom. Teaching is not the only thing that a teacher does in a classroom. In process of teaching, there are plenty things to do such as providing all kinds of supports, supervising their behaviour, directing their studying target and catering all needs of pupils. A very significant aspect of that is to observe closely and focus on the learning process including their feedback and their status. Given that students misunderstand the topic in a classroom, teachers will try their best to rephrase the topic, change the way to make it clear until students can comprehend the content. However, a computerised teacher would be less in-tune with what students need. Despite that technology does help students by providing mass information pools which break borders of nation and language, we should consider more about the process of study process in the classroom. Two-way communication of students and teachers build a comfort zone and friendly study atmosphere for each other. If students need help to deal with their academic problems and mental issues, teachers can actively guide them and helps them with their own practical experience which technology would be hard to duplicate it. In conclusion, even technology benefits students a lot, it is still quite impossible for it to completely take the place of traditional teachers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct phrase Original: through the world Suggested revision: throughout the world Why it matters: The correct phrase is “throughout the world.”
- 2. Plural noun Original: a wide range of field Suggested revision: a wide range of fields Why it matters: Use a plural noun after “a wide range of.”
- 3. Natural phrasing Original: apparent in the classroom recently Suggested revision: increasingly apparent in classrooms Why it matters: This is more natural and concise.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: the place of the role Suggested revision: the role Why it matters: “Take the place of the role” is redundant and awkward.
- 5. Add article Original: In process of teaching Suggested revision: In the process of teaching Why it matters: The phrase needs the article “the.”
- 6. Uncountable noun Original: all kinds of supports Suggested revision: all kinds of support Why it matters: “Support” is usually uncountable in this context.
- 7. Natural collocation Original: directing their studying target Suggested revision: guiding their learning goals Why it matters: This is the natural education phrase.
- 8. Agreement Original: Two-way communication of students and teachers build Suggested revision: Two-way communication between students and teachers builds Why it matters: The preposition and verb agreement are incorrect.
- 9. Verb form Original: teachers can actively guide them and helps them Suggested revision: teachers can actively guide them and help them Why it matters: Use the base verb after “can.”
- 10. Remove extra object Original: duplicate it Suggested revision: duplicate Why it matters: The object is unnecessary after “duplicate” in this structure.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: It is undeniable that technology has been increasingly used through the world and also applied in a wide range of field, and it is apparent in the classroom recently as well. Suggested revision: It is undeniable that technology is now used throughout the world and applied in a wide range of fields, including education. Why it matters: This fixes collocation, plural form, and sentence focus.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Teaching is not the only thing that a teacher does in a classroom. Suggested revision: Teachers do far more than simply deliver information in the classroom. Why it matters: This creates a stronger topic sentence for the argument.
Suggested Rewrites
- through the world throughout the world
- a wide range of field a wide range of fields
- apparent in the classroom recently increasingly apparent in classrooms
- the place of the role the role
- In process of teaching In the process of teaching
- all kinds of supports all kinds of support
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The essay clearly disagrees that technology will replace teachers and gives relevant reasons: teachers provide support, adapt explanations, and handle emotional needs. Development is good overall, but the response is one paragraph and some ideas are repeated.
Organise the argument into two body paragraphs: one on academic guidance and one on emotional and social support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically, but the single-block structure weakens coherence. Several transitions are clear, yet sentence-level links are sometimes clumsy.
Use paragraph breaks and topic sentences so the reader can follow each main reason separately.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally appropriate for education and technology, with some strong phrases, but word choice and collocation errors reduce precision.
Use natural education phrases such as “worldwide,” “fields,” “learning objectives,” “meet pupils’ needs,” and “information resources.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a range of complex structures, but errors with prepositions, plural nouns, agreement, and unnecessary objects appear regularly.
Check plural forms after “a range of,” agreement with compound subjects, and avoid adding an object after “duplicate.”